B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Farhad Mann’s Devil’s Diary into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, friends, I have a real gem for you today. For those who don’t know, Lifetime will occasionally dip their toes into the horror genre. 

However, there have been two movies that have stuck with me over the years: Haunting Sarah (don’t worry, I’ll cover this one at some point) and, today’s nugget of cinematic gold, Devil’s Diary. 

For those who don’t know, if you’ve seen both The Craft and Mean Girls, I can safely say that you’ve seen most of Devil’s Diary. Think if the Burn Book was more Necronomicon-adjacent and The Craft was composed of stars from shows on The N. 

Aly & AJ are still killing it. 

It’s low budget, ridiculous, and honestly, it’s the perfect way to kill a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon. 

In the grand tradition of other pieces where I’ve covered ridiculous movies, we’re going to do a stream of consciousness-style review. So grab your favorite pen and cursed notebook, and get ready to take notes. 

• Avril Lavigne and Degrassi also called, but they didn’t leave a message 
• She’s a walking version of the Twilight gradient 
• It’s the Girls Kick Ass sticker on the printer for me 
• I need a true crime rendering of the pool cue scene 
• The red square art house transitions are their equivalent of star wipes
• That’s the weirdest James Dean poster I’ve ever seen in my life – it looks like something straight out of The Monument Mythos 
• RIP to Joey and the CGI budget that made Joey’s death happen offscreen. They had to save it for the third act because only one person could get lit 
• “He’s going around back.” – The exposition we never knew we needed 
• You also want me to believe that she didn’t hear the phone call taking place three inches below her open window?
• I’d be the friend that says, “This is SCARY stuff,” and wanted to leave 
• This movie once again proves that churches are more dangerous and harmful than the LGBTQIA+ community will ever be 
• “Excuse me, I think I know when a tramp hangs up on me.” – Where is their Oscar?
• “Her ass is so bulbous” – This is one of the best lines in horror history, second only to “your tits are stupendous” in the Friday the 13th remake 
• Um, did we all forget about Effi, who needs medical attention in the theater department? 
• Georgia spelling out KILL 
• P sure Father Sanchez is just reading nu metal lyrics at the end 
• Ummmm, why is Dominique a TEENAGER, who is being preyed on by MULTIPLE MEN without ANY ADULT INTERFERENCE?
• I’d love to see the buddy comedy where Dominique and Nancy are roommates 

Back in my day, you had to print out photos of a demonic journal to bring to your local priest.

And that, my friends, is Devil’s Diary. Alexz Johnson truly deserved better…as did most of the cast. But, we can’t discredit the sacrifices they made for our viewing pleasure. I recommend pregaming for Devil’s Diary with Degrassi of the Dead for the best experience. 

Devil’s Diary is now streaming on Prime and is available for free on YouTube.