Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping movie plots turned into AITA posts into the ol’ VCR.
Friends, an idea will sometimes just pop into my head and fill me with so much happiness, a la the HSM/Dante’s Inferno piece.
This is another one of those pieces.
I was watching Fever Pitch the other day (yeah, I hate it for me, too) and thought, “Wow. This sounds like a Reddit post.”
Then, a lightbulb went off.
I chose 10 movies and rewrote their plots into AITA-style posts. At the end, I’ll reveal the actual movies, so you can see how you did.
As your one and only hint, know that, somehow, all of these movies are either rom-coms or horror movies.
I have no idea how it turned out this way, but it did.
Alrighty, that should do it for an intro.
Let’s start judging people we’ve never met from the internet.
AITA for loving baseball?
u/falloninlove
Verdict: YTA
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while, and things are going great. I’m a big baseball fan, and she has a nondescript job where she can get a big promotion. She’s been complaining that going to every single baseball game in a season is starting to affect her work performance, but I don’t see the problem.
I told her I liked baseball and made her falsely think I was proposing to her in the middle of a park, when I was actually inviting her to the opening season game with me. Also, men are allowed to have hobbies and don’t need to go to therapy to talk through residual issues from their uncle dying.
I decided that she was more important than baseball after we had a pregnancy scare, and I missed my first game ever. The bad news is, the Red Sox won, and I lashed out at my girlfriend and basically blamed her for all of my problems. But, I feel like I was justified. She’s the reason I had to change, right? So, Reddit, AITA for simply wanting to attend every single game and training for the Red Sox and leaving my girlfriend to deal with the consequences?
AITA for falling for a client?
u/perfectplanner
Verdict: ESH
Hi, Reddit! I definitely need some help. I’m a wedding planner, and, recently, a handsome and charming doctor saved me from being roadkill. We went on a date and almost kissed. I was absolutely smitten.
That’s where things get complicated. This doctor is actually engaged…to one of my clients. And, I didn’t find out until we were at a dance class. His fiance had me fill in for her. We did this awkward (but kinda hot) tango together, and he revealed everything to me. But, he still hasn’t told her about the date or anything.
I think we should tell her, but he’s adamant on having sexual tension and being jealous of the man trying to woo me instead. So, am I the asshole?
AITA for pretending to be dead and hiding my identity?
u/notdreadpirateroberts
Verdict: NTA
I’m in a bit of a pickle. The loml, we’ll call her Queen Bluebonnet, and I were madly in love as children and teenagers. I decided to leave to prove myself and save up money. Unfortunately, I was then presumed dead after a raid on my ship.
A few years later, I found out she was getting married to a real douchebag and had been kidnapped. Well, I ended up finding her. I was a little self-conscious to see her after all this time, so I hid my identity for the first bit of our adventure.
She shoved me down a hill, and I yelled my catchphrase at her. She realized who I was, but now she’s mad at me for letting her think I was dead. Am I in the wrong here?
AITA for chasing a guy I met at a bar across the state?
u/dontwanttomissathing
Verdict: NAH
Okay, I’m super embarrassed. So, I met this guy at a bar, and we really connected. I tend to self-sabotage relationships or run when things get serious. But, this guy is different.
The problem is that he was only in town for a bachelor party, but I found out where he was headed. So, my best friend and I took a comical road trip for me to track him down and have gone through a LOT of hijinx.
I got to the church, and it turns out that HE’S the groom, and I may or may not have accidentally made his bride realize they shouldn’t get married. Now, I feel TERRIBLE. Is this my fault?
AITA for not telling my daughter she had a twin?
u/deviousdaddydennis
Verdict: YTA
Okay, I know that this is probably a weird title, but hear me out. My ex and I had twin daughters, and when we split, we thought the best decision for everyone was to each take a kid, move back to London and Napa Valley, and raise them as only children. Totally normal, right?
Well, that’s where this situation gets tricky. It turns out that our kids met at summer camp, switched places, and now want to be reunited. They’re also really upset for us keeping this secret from them. I’m at a loss. I truly don’t see what we did wrong here, and my fiancee agrees.
So, am I the asshole?
AITA for wanting to sell my dead aunt’s book for money
u/youcancallmetonight
Verdict: NTA
Listen. I have a Vegas show I need to finance, so I need cash FAST. I need to show the world I was meant to be in the spotlight, and this is my chance to break out of a career slump. Not to mention a misogynist cowboy who wants to rope me, if you catch my drift.
I just found out that I had an aunt who died. I’ve inherited her house in Nowhere, USA, and I think I can get some good money for it. She also had some sort of ancient cookbook that my uncle wants yesterday. He’s willing to pay BIG for it, too.
My aunt seemed like a great lady, and her weird little dog keeps hiding her cookbook from me. I was orphaned, so it’s nice to connect with her. But, I’m also strapped for cash. Spider-tassel pasties don’t pay for themselves.
AITA for bringing my wife home to meet my family?
u/lebailbuddy
Verdict: YTA
Note – This was reposted to Am I The Devil?
I come from a wealthy and privileged family. We went no contact a while back, but my wife is an orphan and wanted to connect with them. I humored her, and we got married at my childhood home. But, my family has a nasty tradition whenever someone joins our clan. This is where I might be in the wrong.
It was a one in a million shot, but my wife was selected to play hide-and-seek across our property. You see, we kind of made a deal with The Devil to get our fortune. Things were different back then.
And, if my wife survives the game, my entire family will face dire consequences. I knew there was a chance of this happening, but I brushed it off. I also didn’t tell her about the game to begin with. We had a bit of a whirlwind romance, so I guess it just never really came up. ATIA for not telling my wife she might be selected to play a deadly game of hide-and-seek so that my family can thrive?
AITA for trying to further my career?
u/thatsallnyc
Verdict: NTA
I’m an aspiring journalist, but living in New York without any “applicable” experience is proving to be a real challenge. I took an assistant position at a major style magazine, let’s call it Catwalk. My boss is demanding, to say the least, but I feel like this position is a really good stepping stone for my career.
According to my friends and boyfriend, I’m being selfish. But, when I brought them accessories as a peace offering, my friends took them without question. I’ve also been nothing but supportive of my boyfriend as he furthered his career.
I will take full responsibility for missing a couple of events and needing to take calls when I’m with my friends or boyfriend. I also missed my boyfriend’s birthday, and I feel awful. Finally, I told another assistant that I would be taking her place at a major fashion event. Let’s call it Designer Days.
I know that if I endure my time here at Catwalk, I’ll be able to transition into the career I’ve always wanted. That means I can make time for everything and get back to my journalistic roots. Do these things make me an asshole?
AITA for not listening to my wife?
u/everyrosehasitsthorn
Verdict: YTA
Throwaway account. My wife and I suffered a terrible loss, and we decided to adopt another infant to try to make up for it. At first, things seemed fine.
However, as our son, Darren (fake name), began to grow up, strange things started happening around our house. When our nanny leapt from a window saying she was doing this for our son, we didn’t really think anything about it.
But, things have intensified. My wife fell down several flights of stairs and said Darren did it. But, I just don’t see how! She also explicitly asked me to not let Darren kill her. Women can be so hysterical, though.
Now, she’s in the hospital, and I’ve stepped outside, leaving her alone with Darren, to write out this Reddit post even though she begged me not to leave. Am I in the wrong for not heeding any of my wife’s warnings and repeatedly leaving her alone with our son?
AITA for wanting to play games?
u/krameribarelyknowher
Verdict: YTA
Hello, Reddit. I would like to make a post. I like to put people in compromising positions to make them understand the value of their life. I have never killed anyone. I’ve only let them succumb to the dangerous and life-threatening situations I’ve placed them in. I’m not a murderer.
My ex-wife and proteges seem to understand my process. However, the police don’t seem to agree (ACAB, am I right?).
Again, I’ve never killed anyone. The worst thing I’ve done is create a puppet who rides in on a bicycle as a coping mechanism and set up death traps to teach people to value their lives. That’s all. Am I the asshole? The choice is yours.
The Answers
- Fever Pitch
- The Wedding Planner
- The Princess Bride
- The Sweetest Thing
- The Parent Trap (1998)
- Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
- Ready or Not
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Omen (1976)
- Saw
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