B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Krampus into the ol’ VCR.

Okay friends, it’s finally time. 

Let’s talk about Krampus. 

And no, I’m not talking about the movie that made the way Adam Scott says “honey” my Roman Empire. 

I’m talking about the horned baddie himself. 

Krampus is basically Santa’s foil in that instead of just giving naughty children coal like Kris Kringle, he, um, drags them to Hell, among other things. 

The story goes that Krampus acts as Santa’s opener and visits all the bad kids on December 5th (Krampus Night) before Santa makes his rounds on December 6th (the Feast of St. Nicholas) to give presents to all the good kids.

We’re sincerely not going to talk about how long I tried to write a joke based on the whole “footprints in the sand” bit 

Krampus is described as a tall, goat-like creature with giant horns, hooves, a long, forked tongue (like, show me what that tongue do, long), black fur, and fangs. 

(Think Black Phillip, Satan, and Mr. Tumnus blended together) 

He’s also said to carry a large sack, but instead of presents, it’s used to carry children to Hell, as previously mentioned. 

Additionally, Krampus carries chains that are said to symbolize the chains that God placed upon Satan. 

And before you say it, yes, I know how incredibly fucked up this entire situation is. 

Moving on. 

While it’s unclear how the legend of Krampus originated, it might go back as far as the 8th century, which is WILD.

I can’t even begin to unpack how or why this is doing something for me

One of the funniest parts of this whole ordeal is that, apparently, you’re supposed to offer Krampus schnapps (which is somehow not the craziest part of the folklore). 

As in, you’re supposed to give schnapps to the giant goat man who may or may not throw you in a burlap sack and deliver you to Hades. 

Krampus has made a name for himself over the years, as his legend has spawned parades, festivals, greeting cards, and several movies. He’s even appeared in shows like The Venture Bros and video games like CarnEvil. 

While he may have a mysterious past (we love intrigue), I have a feeling that Krampus’s future will continue to be full of pop culture infamy. 

So, I would be good if I were you.