B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the Katy Perry/JonBénet Ramsey theory into the ol’ VCR.

Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Conspiracies! 

And this one needs some BIG disclaimers. 

First and foremost, I don’t want to make light of the JonBenét Ramsey tragedy because a child was brutally murdered. 

Secondly, as I said in our pop album piece, I know that Katy Perry is trash, and I definitely don’t condone her actions.

Finally, I want to make it clear that I don’t believe this theory, and I think that the people who do are (hopefully) just wanting to believe JonBenét is still alive. But, I also know that some people are weird and gross, so be mindful about what you read when it comes to things like this on the internet. 

Alrighty, that should do us for introductions and disclaimers. 

Without further ado, let’s discuss the theory that Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey. 

For those unfamiliar with the JonBenét Ramsey case, she was a six-year-old little girl who was murdered back in 1996. There are a lot of oddities surrounding the case, including a bizarre ransom note, and the public has theorized for years that her family was allegedly involved. 

However, a few years ago, as is the way of the internet, a video was uploaded wherein someone alleged that JonBenét actually wasn’t murdered (that I absolutely will not be linking here). 

Instead, her family faked her death so that she could become famous (as she competed in beauty pageants before her untimely death). 

And you don’t need me to tell you how truly deranged this is. 

The theory is that JonBenét was then taken in by the Hudsons and grew up to be Katy Perry. 

Yeah… 

The problem is, outside the obvious insensitivity, that Katy Perry is only six years older than JonBenét Ramsey, and, uh, this whole thing is stupid. 

Y’all, a little girl was murdered, and the details are (allegedly) suspicious at best. 

Additionally, this little girl was allegedly a victim of child abuse and may have been subjected to some unfathomable things throughout her life. 

And honestly, shame on Katy Perry for also perpetuating the conspiracy theory as well. 

So, there you have it.

I would usually end this with a clever play on the series title, but I’m going to leave y’all with this instead: 

For the love of god, do your research. 

Don’t believe everything you read on the internet, and don’t perpetuate misinformation. 

We have a lot of fun here, but this one gets me because that little girl (allegedly) suffered a lot, and there are genuinely people who believe her death was a hoax. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go touch grass.