B Movies Blog

Note: Check back for updates as new content is announced!

January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the work of David Dastmalchian into the ol’ VCR.

I saw something the other day that said David Dastmalchian is becoming this generation’s Vincent Price. 

And, honestly, I’m inclined to agree. 

David Dastmalchian is incredible, and I’m glad that he’s finally getting cast into the spotlight. 

He’s also becoming one of the biggest heartthrobs of the horror community, and for good reason. 

He and Evelyn Leigh, his wife, are both SUPER hot and talented. 

I digress. 

David Dastmalchian perfectly occupies the intersection of campy, creepy, and charismatic. 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just watch his interviews on Grave Conversations, particularly the episode with Matthew Lillard. 

Additionally, DD is just one of those actors I get excited to see pop up in a project, and I’m hoping that he might be involved with the horror movie The Boulet Brothers have been hinting at. 👀

As with all of our spotlights, there’s not much more I can say about David Dastmalchian that hasn’t already been said. 

David, if you ever read this, I think you’re extremely talented. 🖤

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite pieces of David Dastmalchian content: 

• Sushi Girl 
• The Boogeyman 
• The Suicide Squad 
• Grave Conversations
• The Belko Experiment 
• Late Night with the Devil 
• Twin Peaks: The Revival 
• The Last Voyage of the Demeter
• The Boulet Brothers’ Halfway to Halloween TV Special

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping MTV dating shows into the ol’ VCR.

Well, friends, it’s time to talk about something that clearly didn’t age well. 

We’ve talked about MTV shows. 

We’ve talked about Awkward.

The natural progression here is to talk about MTV dating shows. 

As I already said, these shows ABSOLUTELY DID NOT AGE WELL. 

I don’t even know where to start. 

The misogyny, the invasion of personal space, the lack of diversity, the lack of plus-size inclusion, you name it. 

It’s not great, and that’s an understatement. I don’t condone any of these things, but unfortunately, it’s a part of pop-culture history that happened. 

Additionally, when I was doing my research, I found a lot more dating shows that I remembered. I also found an article from Nylon I thought I would include. This way, if you watched more MTV reality dating shows than I did, you can reminisce there. 

The big four that I’m going to concentrate on today are: 

• Singled Out 
• Next 
• Room Raiders 
• Parental Control 

I’m also toying with the idea of doing a separate piece on MTV prank shows because they’re also, um, awful, so I’ve excluded any content that leans more into prank territory. 

Alrighty, that should do us for disclaimers and introductions. 

Without further ado, let’s dive into four MTV reality dating series. 

Singled Out

The original iteration of Singled Out aired from ‘95 – ‘98 with Chris Hardwick (who is trash) hosting for all three years, and Jenny McCarthy (who’s problematic AF) co-hosting from ‘95 – ‘97; Carmen Electra would come in to host for the last year. 

The premise was simple: 

1. The Picker (like, c’mon) would be blindfolded in front of 50 contestants. 
2. The Picker would use various questions and categories to whittle down the Dating Pool. 
3. The Picker and their match would then meet each other and be treated to various prizes. 

Of course, the questions were…questionable. 

You’ve probably guessed that everyone was “traditionally” hot and thin. 

You get the picture. 

However, Singled Out did cement itself so firmly in the zeitgeist that it appeared in both Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion AND, in the aptly titled Boy Meets World episode, “Singled Out.” 

Video source: Viva 90s 

Next 

Next, we have Next. Next aired from 2005 – 2008 and had a more simplified (but still deeply problematic) premise than Singled Out. TL;DR – Contestants would be paired on blind dates with other people and had the option to end the date by yelling, “Next!” 

Contestants would also get more money the longer they stayed on the date and would choose between love and money at the end. 

I’m not kidding. 

However, the real reason people watched was the unhinged bios presented with each contestant. They included everything from nicknames to, you guessed it, very problematic takes, like questioning the status of someone’s virginity. 

If you think I’m joking, check out this Buzzfeed article. 

Video source: TV Shows & Movies & Commercials

Room Raiders 

Out of all four shows, Room Raiders is the one I’m the most guilty of watching; I watched it RELIGIOUSLY. In fact, as a kid, I would pretend like I was one of The Raiders, hold up different things in my room, and talk about them. 

Y’all, I have no shame anymore with what all I’ve said on the internet thus far. 

I digress. 

If you aren’t familiar with the premise of this particular show, let me get you up to speed: 

1. The Raider would sufficiently rip apart three different bedrooms. There was usually a black light involved because 2003 – 2009 television was the height of class. 
2. The three raidees would then have the opportunity to return the favor. 
3. After all the raiding had been completed, The Raider would then choose to go on a date with one of the three raidees. 

Oh yeah, and all three raidees watched The Raider tear apart their rooms from a van. 

Room Raiders lasted for eight whole seasons from 2003 – 2009, and I feel like that might’ve been a little *too* long. 

I don’t think you need me to even discuss everything wrong with this. But, I’ll link a Kurtis Conner video below where he watches a problematic-themed video to really drive my point home. 

Video source: Kurtis Conner

Parental Control 

And finally, we have Parental Control. Oh boy. 

So, Parental Control is a bit more layered than the other shows we’ve covered, so let me break it down: 

1. Some of the contestants’ loved ones didn’t like the contestant’s partner. 
2. These said loved ones would then pick two potential suitors for the contestant. 
3. The contestant would go on dates with both of the picks. 
4. The contestant would then eliminate one of these picks. 
5. The contestant would then choose whether to be single, stay in their current relationship, or to give the new relationship a go. 

The contestant’s loved ones would also watch the entire thing unfold. 

Yeah…there’s a lot to unpack here. 

But don’t take my word for it. Check out the clip below that proves a) this show was obviously fake and b) how problematic and cringy this entire thing is. 

Video source: TV Shows & Movies & Commercials

Wrap Up 

Now listen, I’m not here to say things have necessarily gotten better. We still have shows where conventionally hot people hook up with other conventionally hot people. 

I do think we still have a long way to go with reality dating shows being more size inclusive, diverse, you name it. 

I personally believe that you’re attracted to whoever you’re attracted to, and leagues are bullshit, but I’ll save my soapbox. 

For someone who talks A LOT about nostalgia, I would definitely be okay with these dating shows never coming back. 
And this is coming from someone who religiously watches shit like The Traitors.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of the books I loved growing up into the ol’ VCR.

We’ve talked about this before, but we all know that Elliott is the bookworm of B Movies. However, as a kid, I was a voracious reader. 

I participated in every summer library reading challenge and sat in the top of the AR point earners (and earned myself a Razor scooter, I might add). 

That’s why I thought it would be fun to revisit some of my favorite books and series from when I was a kid. 

These are the series I would request from my local library or titles that KP would buy for me from the bookstore. 

I even made a calendar out of the quotes in The Amazing Days of Abby Hayes in Excel and Word. 

Yes, I’m serious. 

Alrighty, I think that does us for an introduction. 

Without further ado, here are six books and series I loved growing up: 

• The Amazing Days of Abby Hayes 
• Sammy Keyes 
• Fear Street 
• Define “Normal” 
• Heir Apparent 
• Anything Christopher Pike 

The Amazing Days of Abby Hayes

The Amazing Days of Abby Hayes is mostly comprised of journal entries from the title character, Abby Hayes. The series begins when Abby is in the fifth grade as she laments about having three siblings who seem to succeed at everything they do. However, Abby soon finds her passions and realizes her talent, all while juggling the trials and tribulations of being a preteen. 

The first book in the series debuted in August of 2000, and author Anne Mazer wrote the entire series, with the last book being published in 2009. I loved this series because a) I was a baby writer finding my voice and b) I felt like Abby got me. Also, there’s some dry humor throughout that I could even appreciate as a kid. 

Sammy Keyes 

Sammy Keyes is a mystery/comedy novel series wherein our title character solves mysteries all while dealing with a vapid, star-driven mother and dodging security at her beloved grandmother’s retirement community. The series was written by Wendelin Van Draanen and lasted for 18 books. 

Like Abby Hayes, I saw a lot of myself in Sammy Keyes. She was plucky and sharp and stood out. As someone who also stood out as a kid (I wore a suit to a Camp Fire award ceremony because I was in an Annie Hall phase), I felt a kinship with her. 

Fear Street 

Fear Street is the spawn of R.L. Stein, and each tells a different paranormal/supernatural/thriller-esque story set in the fictional town of Shadyside. The first book in the series was released back in 1989, and the series has continued, albeit on and off, since then. They also inspired Netflix’s Fear Street trilogy, which most of you know is one of my favorite horror trilogies of all time. 

I feel like this is probably one of, if not THE, least surprising section on this entire list. I spent many a summer afternoons as a kid and teenager lying out on my trampoline in Soffe shorts with my Zune reading an entire book at a time. KP had grabbed any Fear Streets she came across at Goodwill and garage sales, so we had at least one entire shelf dedicated to them. 

Define “Normal” 

Julie Anne Peters’ Define “Normal” was released in 2000 (which is 24 years ago, for those keeping count — WOOF), and follows two girls, Antonia and Jazz, as they participate in a peer counseling organization. Antonia is a prep on the surface while Jazz is our punk, but as their counseling progresses, they find they have more in common than they ever could’ve imagined. 

I grew up in early to mid-aughts, so, naturally, I loved a storyline with two foils on an enemies-to-friends track. I grew up in the time of Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8r Boi,” thank you. I was “punk,” aka I wore band tees and was a little funky, but I was also an overachiever, so I felt like I related to both Antonia AND Jazz. 

Heir Apparent 

Heir Apparent was written by Vivian Vande Velde and released in 2002. The story focuses on Giannine, who must complete the quest in a medieval VR game. The catch? Every time she dies,Giannine is taken back to the beginning of the game. 

This book was a BIG deal for a lot of peeps my age. I remember Heir Apparent being hard to get a hold of at my library, so KP just bought me a copy from the Scholastic Book Fair. I love Ready Player One so much; I think it’s a great double read with Heir Apparent. 

Anything Christopher Pike 

For those not familiar with Christopher Pike, he wrote books similar to the Fear Street series, with the first being published in 1985. While a lot of these novels were one-offs, Pike did write several series like Chain Letter, The Last Vampire, and Thirst. He’s also responsible for The Midnight Club, which was adapted into the Netflix series by Mike Flanagan. 

As with Fear Street, KP kept us stocked in Christopher Pike novels, and I can’t tell you how many I’ve read over the years. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite songs into the ol’ VCR.

I truly mean it when I say that I love making these little favorite lists for all of you. 

It’s really fun for me to actually think through my favorites and have them handy in the event that I have to introduce myself somewhere.

Because, if you’re anything like me, you have an existential crisis the second someone asks you anything about yourself. 

Now, I already know this list is probably going to be controversial; there are several covers on here. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t respect the original artists who sang and/or wrote these songs. It just means that I fell in love with a different interpretation of them. 

I also don’t feel like many of my favorite songs will come as a surprise, as I’ve talked about a couple of them before. 

Alrighty, that should do us for disclaimers and introductions. 

Without further ado, here are 10 of my favorite songs:

• “Purple Rain” by Prince 
• “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes 
• “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star
• “Video Games” by Trixie Mattel
• “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John 
• “The Promise” by Sturgill Simpson
• “You Were Meant For Me” by Jewel
• “No Children” by The Mountain Goats 
• “Don’t Think Twice” by  Ramblin’ Jack Elliott
• “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass

Note: I’m ASHAMED of myself because I forgot one of my absolute favorite songs of all time aka “Act Naturally” by Buck Owens.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the work of Justice Smith into the ol’ VCR.

I’ve been a fan of Justice Smith ever since The Get Down.

I’ve always thought he was a great actor, and I think his performance in I Saw the TV Glow proves my point. 

Over the past 12-ish years, Justice Smith has played everything from Detective Pikachu’s companion to Simon the Sorcerer (his character is just named Simon, and he happens to be a sorcerer, but I like the ring of that title). 

And, I honestly think he’s just getting started. 

I think Justice Smith is a super versatile actor who will continue to rise over the next few years. 

Additionally, Justice Smith came out as queer back in 2020. 

I had issues initially coming out, so I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like doing so as a celebrity, and I want to give him props. 

As always with our spotlights, there’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said. 

For all intents and purposes, Justice Smith’s career may seem like it’s just getting started, but I can’t wait to see where it goes from here. 

Justice, if you ever read this, I think you’re extremely talented. 🖤

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite pieces of Justice Smith content: 

• The Quarry 
• The Voyeurs
• The Get Down 
• I Saw the TV Glow 
• Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Note: I haven’t watched Genera+ion, so I didn’t want to include it, and I apologize. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite cooking content into the ol’ VCR.

Hello, Chefs. 

In honor of season three of The Bear premiere today, I wanted to throw out some of my favorite cooking content for all of you. 

Now, I have to be honest… 

There are some seemingly big food/cooking movies that seem to have fallen through the cracks of my pop culture radar. 

I’m also really picky about the cooking shows I watch and tend to lean more towards baking than cooking. 

I love cooking, and I do it a lot, but, for some reason, I don’t always enjoy watching it?

Y’all should know by now that Shrek and I find a common thread in our layers. 

I digress. 

Alrighty, that should do us for introductions and disclaimers. 

Without further ado, 12 pieces of content are up, Chef: 

• Chef 
• The Bear 
• The Menu 
• Is It Cake? 
• Sugar Rush
• Snack vs. Chef 
• Waffles + Mochi
• Halloween Wars
• Without A Recipe
• Escape The Kitchen 
• Crime Scene Kitchen 
• Halloween Cookie Challenge

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of the pop culture brands I love into the ol’ VCR.

I don’t mean this in a braggadocious way, but I’m oftentimes asked where I get my pop culture-centric clothing.

Because ya girl LOVES a good movie or show-inspired tee. 

I’ve thrown out some of my favorite brands before on YouTube, but I thought it would be cool to write a dedicated piece to them. 

I’ve bought at least two shirts from each of these brands that feature everything from Street Trash to Trick or Treat, and all of the clothing I’ve purchased has held up extremely well. 

Most of these brands are small businesses, while others had humble beginnings and have kept their teams small over the years. 

I want to make this clear — this post isn’t sponsored AT ALL. 

I just want to give credit where credit’s due. 

Additionally, I know that I can only speak to my experiences with these companies, but I can honestly say I haven’t had any negative interactions with them. 

Finally, I know that I’m extremely fortunate to be able to afford some of the clothing from these brands. Please know that I TOTALLY understand if you can’t buy from them. In fact, I’ve been there multiple times throughout my life. 

I just wanted to throw out some of my favorites; there’s no pressure WHATSOEVER to buy from them. 

Alrighty, that should do us for disclaimers and introductions. 

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite horror/pop culture-centered shops: 

• Fright-Rags
• Cavity Colors
• TerrorThreads
• Halftone Horror 
• Creep-O-Rama 
• Wicked Clothes 
• Pallbearer Press
• Pentagram Peter Pan LLC

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite action movies into the ol’ VCR. 

Friends, we’re officially in the throes of summer… 

The crickets are chirping. 

Movie theaters are ice cold. 

I have to keep a stick of deodorant in my purse. 

Ah, yes. Summertime. 

And with the summer come the summer blockbusters. 

Y’all know what I’m talking about. 

And, nothing screams summer more to me than a good ol’ fashioned action movie. 

I want to see people punching and kicking while I sit comfortably with my soda and popcorn. 

So, I thought, in the spirit of summer, that I would present all of you with some of my favorite action movies of all time. 

I need y’all to know that KP gave me this exact haircut in high school, and I still tried to convince myself I wasn’t queer 

Now, I already know that some of these might be more Sci-Fi forward, BUT I’m counting them, dang it. 

Additionally, I’m going a bit older here.

I do want to give a shoutout to Monkey Man, though, because it’s one of my favorite movies of the year thus far. 

Alrighty, that should do it for disclaimers and introductions. 

Without further ado, here are 10 of my favorite action movies to get your adrenaline pumping: 

• Crank 
• Domino
• Die Hard 
• Dead Heat 
• The Warriors 
• Last Action Hero 
• Mad Max: Fury Road 
• Terminator 2: Judgment Day 
• Highlander (which should be a given) 
• Raiders of the Lost Ark

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping teen magazines into the ol’ VCR.

When I was growing up, my walls were PLASTERED with posters from teen magazines. 

In fact, I still have my 8th grade journal (that’s decorated with a duct tape tribute to the Green Day heart grenade from their American Idiot album, thank you), and there are posters taped throughout. 

My big six were: 

• YM
• J-14 
• Tiger Beat 
• Seventeen 
• CosmoGirl 
• Teen Vogue 

Fun fact: Sue Rose, the creator of Pepper Ann, actually debuted the series as a comic strip in YM magazine 

I couldn’t wait to go to the store to look at all the magazines and pick out a couple. I feel guilty now because I know my mom was probably sacrificing something she needed to get them for me. 

I digress. 

Instead of breaking down the history of each magazine, I thought it would be fun to create a nostalgic personality quiz so that you can see which B Movies Blog piece you are. 

And yes, this is absolutely why this piece was posted late. 

Which B Movies Blog are you?

Are you a Beach Horror Babe or a Cabin Horror Cutie? Find out with our five question quiz! 

Question One: It’s the summer of 2006. Your mom takes you to Blockbuster to grab some movies for the weekend. As you walk through the aisles, you remember that there’s a summer promotion for rent one, get one free. Which two movies do you choose?

1. Into the Blue and Blue Crush*
2. Wet Hot American Summer and American Pie: Band Camp 
3. Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Speed 
4. Summer Catch and Now and Then 

*18 years later, you’ll write in a blog post that you wanted to rent these movies because you thought everyone in them was hot, but you wouldn’t come out for another 8 years. 

Question Two: OMG, your camp crush* likes you back! They want to know where you’d like to meet up later for what will probably be one of the worst but most special kisses you’ve ever had. Where do you want to meet?

1. The lazy river (they’re the lifeguard on duty, but we’re sure it’s fine) 
2. In the abandoned cabin at the edge of camp (they could never prove it was murder and not just an allergic reaction to knives) 
3. One of the empty buses (nothing sets the mood like the smell of damp, moldy seats) 
4. The bottom bunk you’re staying in (it reminds you of your bedroom at home, and it’ll give you something to think about while you kiss your J-14 posters later) 

*You’ll also think about the summer of 2009 where a girl at camp clearly liked you and you liked her, but a) it was clear neither of you were out and b) you’re almost 32-year-old and still can’t always tell when someone likes you. 

Question Three: You got a job at your town’s pool for the summer…in the concession stand*. The good news is, you and your friends all have a day off coming up. How do you plan to spend your free time?

1. Soaking up rays…at the pool where you work. It’s free to get in, and one of your friends has a crush on one of the lifeguards. Even though you know he’s a douche, you’re a teenager, and peer pressure reigns supreme. 
2. Becoming one with nature at the local state park. There is absolutely no reason you should be jumping off cliffs into the water as teenagers, but hey, blame it on your underdeveloped prefrontal cortex. 
3. Driving through your small town trying to decide what to do until it’s too late to do anything else outside of the movie nights and Walmart trips you always have. 
4. Just hanging out in one of their bedrooms. You all have a lot of gossip to catch up on, so you make a snack run and buckle in. 

*I’m not speaking from experience, but there’s nothing like grease, heat, and puberty to make your face break out like nobody’s business. In fact, this summer was, hypothetically-speaking, the beginning of your years-long love affair with Proactiv. Also, Elliott was a lifeguard at the same pool, so there’s some B Movies lore for all of you. 

Question Four: Le sigh. Your favorite band just announced a hiatus. While wiping away your tears with the latest edition of Tiger Beat, you decide you want to grieve in another way. How are you going to mourn the most devastating loss of your young life thus far?* 

1. Lying out on the trampoline listening to their music until it gets too hot. You’ll miss them, but you also overheat easily. 
2. Making your mom take you to the nearest part to write the band’s name on one of the benches in sharpie. You know it’ll be there forever because your small town is more concerned about banning books than any sort of beautification initiatives. 
3. Journaling from the bench at your local train station. Sam from Garden State could NEVER. 
4. Caking on black eyeliner, grabbing your best Hot Topic tee, and taking new selfies for MySpace. Trust me, that’s what they would want. 

*You didn’t really associate with your paternal grandfather anyway. 

Question Five: You’re playing MASH with your friends. It’s sooo fourth grade, but you want to think back to a simpler time before high school*. You’ve written everything in except where you’re going to live with Gerard Way and your 47 kids. Where are you hoping to hang your hat?

1. A bungalow on the beach. You’ll need SPF 4000 to keep your porcelain, emo skin safe, but it just feels right. 
2. A cabin in the woods. You won’t have to worry about the hustle and bustle of the city, only the occasional goof in a hockey mask. 
3. A converted train car. Who needs indoor plumbing or running water?
4. Your parents’ house. It’s already paid off, and little do you know that you’re about to live through unprecedented times for the next two decades. 

*You couldn’t pay me to go back to high school. 

Mostly As 

Beach Horror Babe: You’re all about fun in the sun! Unfortunately, that means you’ll probably find yourself toes up from a shark attack, killer piranhas, or a good ol’ fashioned sandy psychopath. Who cares if the old man at the gas station warned you and all of your friends not to go to the beach? Enjoy that sun while you have it, girlie! 

Mostly Bs 

Cabin Horror Cutie: There’s nothing like enjoying nature! I’m sure the sound of snapping twigs was nothing. I’m also sure that it was the right decision to bring your portable DVD player instead of tennis shoes. Now, I’ll leave you to get back to the creepy old journal you found. Be sure to read all the Latin passages aloud to impress your crush! 

Mostly Cs 

Transportation Horror Treasure: You’re a girl on the go! But, you might also be the girl who gets got. You’ve got places to be, and sadly, one of those places might be the morgue. Don’t worry, though! We’ll be sure to scan your bus pass on the way out. 

Mostly Ds 

Summer Bummer Horror Sweetie: There’s nothing wrong with being a homebody. But, in the world of horror, you might be a home body instead. Don’t answer the phone. Don’t agree to babysit. And, don’t leave your Jiffy Pop unattended. That’s a fire hazard, girl!

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping another edition of Lights, Camera, Albums into the ol’ VCR. 

If you’re new to Lights, Camera, Albums, welcome! 

LCA is a series where I take an album and pair each song on the tracklist with a different movie.

Sometimes, the connection is obvious. Other times, you might just have to hear me out. 

Either way, I love doing this series, and everyone really seems to enjoy reading it, so we’re happy you’re here. 

If you’d like to catch up, we’ve covered albums from Taylor Swift to Fall Out Boy, and I’d definitely recommend checking all of them out. 

Now, I do have some disclaimers up top, per usual.

First and foremost, I’m not making light of some of the content in these films. Movies like Thirteen have some heaviness to them, and I’d never make fun of it. 

Secondly, I feel weird including pictures with funny captions in this one, so we’re going to stick to the ol’ written word instead. 

Finally, we’re not going to do the deluxe version of Bangerz, so we’ll end this one with “Someone Else.” 

Alrighty, that should do us for introductions and disclaimers. 

Without further ado, I present to you Lights, Camera, Albums: Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz. 

“Adore You” as Ghost 

Surprisingly, I really struggled with the pairing for this song. I knew I wanted some sort of romantic movie, but nothing felt right. Then, it finally clicked. 

Ghost is a story about a love so strong that it transcends the afterlife, and when I listen to “Adore You,” I feel that same intensity. Plus, these lyrics sealed the deal for me: 

Baby, can you hear me

When I’m cryin’ out for you?

This piece is also coming out two weeks before KP’s death anniversary, and Ghost was one of her favorite movies of all time. Additionally, she LOVED Bangerz. This one’s for you, Ma. 🖤

“We Can’t Stop” as Spring Breakers 

Now, I obviously know that Spring Breakers is, um, a bit more intense than the carefree-ish lyrics of “We Can’t Stop.” HOWEVER, I think these two go well together because they share a “fuck it” type of energy. I think this song rings especially true for Candy (Vanessa Hudgens) and Brit (Ashley Benson). 

“SMS (Bangerz) (feat. Britney Spears)” as Uptown Girls 

I loved Uptown Girls so much when I was growing up, and I’m honestly so glad I’ve finally found a spot to include it. Molly (Brittany Murphy – RIP) lives a chaotic and party-fueled life until she loses everything and becomes Ray’s (Dakota Fanning) nanny. I see Molly jamming out to this song while she’s out or getting ready before she learns that all of her money is gone. 

“4×4 (feat. Nelly)” as Natural Born Killers 

This is one of those movies I was warning everyone about up top. Natural Born Killers definitely isn’t for the faint of heart, and I’m not trying to make light of the content. 

Mallory (Juliette Lewis) and Mickey (Woody Harrelson) are so twisted and enjoy inflicting so much torment on others. But, this song made me think of this movie because, in their minds, it’s some grandiose, romantic voyage. So, I think this song represents their mentality vs what we as the viewer think about their actions. 

“My Darlin’ (feat. Future)” as Titanic 

I really, really struggled with this pairing. Like with “Adore You,” I really wanted something romantic to encapsulate the feel of this song. Finally, it clicked with me. And no, it had nothing to do with the fact that I had sent my sister the recorder version of “My Heart Will Go On” earlier. I digress. 

I could honestly see this song playing during a couple of different scenes in the film, but most notably during the car scene when Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose (Kate Winslet), erm, consummate their relationship. 

“Wrecking Ball” as Love Lies Bleeding 

I couldn’t tell you how or why, but this was one of the first connections I made. The entire focal point of Love Lies Bleeding is Lou (Kristen Stewart) and Jackie’s (Katy O’Brian) tumultuous relationship. Jackie swings into Lou’s life like a wrecking ball, and I could absolutely see Jackie singing this song towards the climax of the movie. 

“Love Money Party (feat. Big Sean)” as Someone Great 

I love these two together. In Someone Great, Jenny (Gina Rodriguez) wants to have one last hurrah with her two best friends, Erin (DeWanda Wise) and Blair (Brittany Snow), after a breakup. 

Throughout the movie, Jenny and her friends try to avoid growing up by focusing on love, money, and partying. While Jenny and Co do have to face adulthood eventually, they can rock out to this song in the meantime. 

“#GETITRIGHT” as The Ugly Truth (2009) 

Somehow “#GETITRIGHT” and The Ugly Truth together just feels right. Maybe it’s because they both have a playful energy about them? Regardless, I could totally see this song on the soundtrack if it came out now. 

While under the tutelage of Mike (Gerard Butler), Abby (Katherine Heigl) finds her sexuality (in a problematic and misogynist way). I could totally see this song playing when Abby is trying to seduce her next door neighbor, Colin (Eric Winter), and Mike is trying to help her.

“Drive” as Baby Driver

I love this movie, but I do want to address up top how unfortunate it is that so many shitty men are in it. I obviously don’t condone any of their actions, and I think they’re absolute trash. Moving on. 

I feel like this one is a little bit on the nose, but I also think it’s extremely fitting. So much of Baby Driver is dependent on the music of the film. In fact, certain scenes are even syncopated with beats in the songs. That’s why I wanted to pair a movie I love with one of my favorite Miley Cyrus songs of all time. Additionally, I think the lyrics go really well with the last act of the film. 

“FU (feat. French Montana)” as She-Devil

This is another reminder about awful people. Roseanne Barr is gross. Moving on. 

I really like this movie for reasons I can’t explain, but I think that in this case, all roads lead back to Meryl Streep. Regardless, as much as I hate Roseanne Barr, I do love that Ruth gets her revenge on Bob (Ed Begley Jr.) and Mary (Meryl Streep) when they have an affair. 

“Do My Thang” as Thirteen 

This is another movie that I’m not making light of because Thirteen shows self-harm, amongst other things, and I would never make fun of it. I just think that “Do My Thang” really encapsulates the vibe of being a teenager. Everything seems so inconsequential, and you just want everyone around you to let you do your thing.

“Maybe You’re Right” as Bride Wars 

This may come as a surprise, but I actually love the movie Bride Wars. I don’t think it’s groundbreaking cinema by any means, but I really enjoy it.

One of my favorite parts is towards the end when Emma (Anne Hathaway) realizes she and Fletcher (Chris Pratt) shouldn’t get married because he’s terrible (and, tbh, is probably just how Chris Pratt is IRL). 

Sure, it takes Emma the entire movie of him making some of the most heinous, red pill comments of all time, but she gets there. I think this movie is the perfect middle finger to Fletcher, even though things end a little too agreeably for me. 

“Someone Else” as Challengers 

This was actually the first pairing I made. For those who don’t know, not only did I love Challengers, but it’s one of my favorite movies of 2024 (spoiler for my end of year list). I knew from the very beginning that I wanted to include it in this LCA. Then, when I listened through Bangerz for my research, it became obvious where it should land. 

I 100% see this song being sung from Patrick’s (Josh O’Connor) perspective, and I think it’s aimed at Art (Mike Faist). There could be an argument made for it to be sung to Tashi (Zendaya) as well, but I think it better summarizes his and Art’s relationship. Game. Set. Match.