B Movies Blog

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January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping John Hughes’s Sixteen Candles into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, before I say anything else, I want to address a couple of things here. 1) John Hughes was horrible to Molly Ringwald and 2) There are several offensive things in this movie. I fully recognize both of these points, and I don’t condone any of the problematic content in this movie. 

I’m only here to talk about Sixteen Candles because I watch it every year during my birthday week, in a tradition that started long before I could recognize its flaws. It was something I initially shared with KP, and I’ve been watching it every year for the past 16 years. 

I get Chinese takeout (like we always used to), and it’s a whole tradition. Again, I don’t condone any of the offensive content within this movie. It’s just a silly little tradition I’ve kept alive, by myself, and it’s one I want to continue, especially with KP being gone. 

Alrighty, now that I’ve probably overshared and over-explained things (two of my many talents), let’s talk Sixteen Candles. 

This has been all of our Facebook cover photos at one point or another. 

When I was 15, my sister got me two very distinct gifts: a nice razor and a John Hughes movie pack that came in a Trapper Keeper, complete with soundtracks. Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, and The Breakfast Club were all included. While I love Weird Science and The Breakfast Club both, Sixteen Candles is the one I revisit annually. 

Call it the romantic in me, or the fact that I wasn’t super popular in high school, but Molly Ringwald’s Sam Baker became an idol for my teenage self. Granted, she’s a little Rory Gilmore-y at times, but I just loved her. I also used to yearn for my own Jake Ryan, who would be standing behind a passing car to sweep me away. Granted, Jake Ryan also has some flaws, but I was a teenager at the time. And would only make the mistake of liking the wrong people for 13-14 more years, at least. 

Fortunately, KP never forgot a single birthday, and she made a huge deal out of not only the day, but the month. She once filled my entire bedroom with balloons. And when I say my entire bedroom, I mean you couldn’t see the floor. While I didn’t know Sam’s forgotten birthday plight, I still reveled in her teen angst. 

I used to be obsessed with this outfit. 

Now, on the precipice of 31, I recognize all of the flaws of Sixteen Candles and its characters. But, I just can’t let it go. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a creature of habit, I miss KP, or the tiniest part of 15-year-old Baillee lives on, but my annual rewatch of Sixteen Candles is something I can’t seem to shake. 

On that note, I’ll leave you with one of the best pieces of 80s fatherly advice from Paul Dooley’s Jim Baker I can muster: “That’s why they call ‘em crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ‘em something else.” 

Sixteen Candles is now streaming on Hulu.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping The Sun Vanished into the ol’ VCR. 

The Sun Vanished was one of my first ARGs.

Let me set the scene. It was May 2020, and I was unemployed and staying with KP at my grandmother’s house. 

During this specific time in my life, I got really into YouTube channels like Bailey Sarian’s. However, I also got really into the likes of Local58 and The Sun Vanished. 

I don’t remember exactly how I found these two, but embarrassingly enough, I think it might’ve been on some sort of Buzzfeed listicle or The Infographics Show. Regardless of the source, I’m so excited that The Sun Vanished made its way to me. 

For those who aren’t familiar, The Sun Vanished is a Twitter-focused ARG where one day, the sun completely disappears and throws our lead character, TSV (The Sun Vanished), into perpetual darkness. 

Through various Twitter accounts, fan interactions, and creepy af videos, we’re introduced to an alien invasion story like no other. 

Now, I could recount years worth of tweets for you, but where’s the fun in that? Do yourself a favor and take a few hours to dive in. I promise you won’t be disappointed. 

And remember, don’t drink the water. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi’s series The Adventures of Pete & Pete into the ol’ VCR. 

Much like Election, The Adventures of Pete & Pete is lightning in a bottle. There’s no way it would work today, and it perfectly encapsulates the weird and quirky spirit of the 90s. 

The Adventures of Pete & Pete is one of, if not, my favorite show of all time. I have Petunia on my leg. I tracked down the soundtrack on vinyl. I have all of the available seasons on DVD as well as an incredible box set from Slimeterion Collection (@slimeterioncollection on Instagram). Needless to say, I freakin’ love this show. 

I’m honestly just looking for someone who choreographs a marching band show about two molecules to bring me back to reality and prove their feelings.

If you aren’t familiar with this gem, The Adventures of Pete & Pete follows the life of two brothers, both named Pete, as they tackle the ups and downs of growing up. The show was originally comprised of shorts, but eventually, an entire show was developed. 

The Adventures of Pete & Pete boasts recurring cameos from the likes of Iggy Pop (no, seriously), folk musician Syd Straw, and 90s Nickelodeon royalty, Michelle Trachtenberg. It also stars another member of the 90s Nickelodeon royal family, Danny Tameberelli, and the one and only Toby Huss. 

I told y’all Iggy was in this show, but here’s, like, evidentiary support. 

We also need to give Michael C. Maronna, Alison Fanelli, Judy Grafe (RIP), and Hardy Rawls their dues. This entire cast is incredible and works so well together. 

The Adventures of Pete & Pete is so wonderfully weird. For me, it’s like someone recreated scenes from your childhood, but how you felt when you experienced them. There’s something magical and innocent about each episode. It’s bizarre at times, but that’s what makes the show as great as it is. 

So, friends, my advice to you is to buy the show, get some ice cream from Mr. Tastee, and let Pete teach you some sick burns. 

OUCH.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping shows that should get the iCarly reboot treatment into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, listen. I absolutely adore the iCarly reboot. It definitely piles on the cheese like sports stadium nachos, BUT it’s still “adult” enough to enjoy; it’s the perfect mix of nostalgic Nickelodeon (minus the gross Dan Schnieder) and adult humor, but doesn’t lose its charm. And I believe it’s laid a really good foundation for future reboots, as we all know they’re coming. 

That’s why I want to officially pitch five other shows I believe could be rebooted in this style: Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, Victorious, Phil of the Future, So Weird, and Lizzie McGuire, with an honorable mention as always. 

Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide

This one is probably the most obvious. Let’s bring Ned back to give us advice on adulthood. I want to know his feelings on Bumble dates, office interactions, and Gen Z. C’mon, Nickelodeon. If you’re bringing us the Zoey 101 revival that no one wants, give us something we do! 

Survival Guide to: Getting Out of Plans You Impulsively Made on a Good Mental Health Day

Victorious

I’m going to be really honest — I put a lot of thought into the Victorious reboot. Jade and Tori are roommates. Jade is working for a famous tech company, and Tori is working as a barista and trying to make it on broadway. Trina is a YouTube star. André just signed with a major label. Beck is Tori’s agent. Robbie fell in a Taco Bell and is now a millionaire. And they constantly make jokes about where Cat is. I’ve done most of the legwork, so let’s get this puppy into pre-production. 

Tori could sing/write a song called “Thanks a Latte,” and it’s about all the shitty customers at her coffee shop.

So Weird 

My idea for the So Weird reboot might be my favorite. Fi and Annie co-host a paranormal podcast and decide to join Molly on her reunion tour. Jack has become Molly’s tour manager, and Clu runs all of her social media accounts. It’s perfect. 

Let’s call the reboot So, So Weird.

Phil of the Future

Keely and Phil finally meet up in the future. However, they’re now faced with navigating a relationship after all this time apart. All of the secondary characters can be used as our Rosencrantz and Guildensterns, and Keely and Phil’s relationship can evolve over the course of a couple seasons. Plus, there are so many opportunities for obstacles, and you can hit the humorous beats without being too goofy. 

I love Mates of State. 

Lizzie McGuire

I KNOW IT’S PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM. The Lizzie McGuire reboot would fall squarely between How I Met Your Father and the iCarly reboot. I want to see Lizzie as a successful blogger who still faces everyday challenges with the help of Gordo. Controversially, I want to just keep Gordo as her best friend instead of a love interest. Again, I know it’s never going to happen because Disney doesn’t believe adulthood is real, but I’d love to see it. And duh, we’re keeping cartoon Lizzie in the mix. 

Imagine cartoon Lizzie taking her BC and anti-anxiety meds. 

Honorable mention

I think it would be extremely disrespectful to continue The Famous Jett Jackson without Lee Thompson Young (RIP). But, if he was still with us, I think it would be a wonderful opportunity to talk about being a child actor. There could be cameos from other famous child actors like Macaulay Culkin playing fictionalized versions of themselves that Jett could catch up with as he decides to re-enter the acting world after a hiatus. 

RIP. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Alexander Zapletal’s The Ketchup Vampires into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, friends, let’s get personal for a moment. If you remember waaaayyyy back in January when I first started the B Movies Blog (WOWZA), I wrote a little intro where I discussed why I write about pop culture. In said intro, I talked about being sick a lot as a kid (KP would sleep in clothes because she never knew if we would be going to the ER or not). 

Well, The Ketchup Vampires was one of the movies I was talking about when I mentioned getting to pick up movies from the likes of Big Lots and Dollar General. Needless to say, it holds a very special place in my heart. 

I watched it again for the first time in probably 20 years, and it’s truly wild. I’m also unsure if it’s a series or a movie, and sadly, I couldn’t find a lot of information about it. It seems to be from 1995, German in origin, dubbed, and the best part is, the American version (at least) is narrated by Elvira. 

I’ll give you a moment to process everything. 

Ready? Let’s keep going. 

The Frog Bros are at it again. 

If the name isn’t obvious, The Ketchup Vampires is a tale about tomato-loving vampires, their blood sausage-sucking counterparts, and a human family that gives big Little Miss Sunshine meets Flubber vibes. 

Our ketchup vampires and mortal family all live together, Full House-style, and Pinot, one of the vamps, and Bella, the mortal daughter, are in love (Stephanie Meyer clearly drew inspiration from this obscure children’s cartoon). Bella’s father is a scientist. Bella’s Uncle Leo looks like the love child of Frankenberry and Heat Miser. You get the picture. 

However, when Countess Helga and co show up to unearth an important book, all bets are off. There’s also a baby, a gaggle of male teenage vampires, Dracula?, etc… Again, it’s all truly insane. 

Don’t take glowing Ring Pops from strangers. 

The good news is, you can watch both The Ketchup Vampires and The Ketchup Vampires 2 (yes, there are two of these bad boys) on YouTube for free, so you can revel in the madness with me. 

Grab some Heinz, tie some red fabric around your head like a sweatband, and prepare for the sheer insanity that is The Ketchup Vampires.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite movie outfits into the ol’ VCR. 

Before we begin, I’m going to be honest. My choices here are going to ruffle some feathers. Colin, if you’re reading this, I can hear you gagging at the 10 Things I Hate About You mention. 

Listen, there are few things in this life I can control, and my silly pop culture blog is one of them. So, I’m subjecting all of you to my taste, gd it. 

JK, I love all of you and appreciate your support. I hope you enjoy me doing my little turn on the fictional catwalk. I present to you, in no particular order, five of my favorite movie outfits. 

Bianca Stratford’s prom dress

Okay, we’re going to rip the bandaid off. I’ve always loved this outfit from 10 Things I Hate About You, and I’ll defend it the same way I defend Gale Weathers’ bangs. 

Jane Spofford’s post-coital transformation fit 

Okay, it’s clear I have a type. I’m a sucker for a crop top and a tulle moment, so I always LIVE for this scene in The Witches of Eastwick.

Sally Owens’ confession ensemble 

Let’s be real. I’d wear anything and everything the Owens women wear in Practical Magic, but for some reason, this outfit has always stuck with me. 

Elle Woods’ “I’m taking the dog, dumbass” moment

Next to Bianca’s prom dress, I think this is my most controversial choice. Elle serves throughout the entirety of Legally Blonde, but I absolutely love this look. 

Emily Nelson’s suit, baby 

My sexuality is Blake Lively in A Simple Favor. Holy hell. This was my most difficult choice, by far, and please know that the white suit from the graveyard scene is a close second. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Danny and Michael Philippou’s Talk to Me into the ol’ VCR. 

2023 has been kind to horror, I’ll tell ya what. After getting off to a rocky start (here’s looking at you, Skinamarink and Knock at the Cabin), 2023 is really starting to deliver some real bangers. Talk to Me is no exception. 

After being scarred by The VVitch, I was a little cynical going into Talk to Me. However, you can believe the hype on this one; it’s honestly hard to believe this is Danny and Michael Philippou’s film debut. 

Now, I’m going to keep this review as spoiler-free as possible, BUT, ironically, I recommend going into this movie with as little information as possible. If you want to watch the movie before reading my review, I’ll wait. 

Ready?

Good. 

For those unfamiliar with the premise, Talk to Me centers around Mia (Sophie Wilde) as she learns to cope with the unexpected death of her mother two years prior. After attending a party with a mysterious hand that acts as a conduit to the dead, Mia becomes obsessed with the feelings the hand gave her. Things grow even more complicated after her mother seemingly breaks through to her from the other side. 

Back in my day, we just had sleepovers where one girl inevitably made another girl cry. 

I know how generic this sounds, but you’ll thank me later. 

Before we dive into the long list of positives for Talk to Me, I’ll start with my only two critiques. 

First and foremost, there’s a scene near the beginning involving a mortally-wounded kangaroo. I’m a bleeding heart when it comes to animals, and I have been known to say that I love animals more than people on more than one occasion. I understand this scene exists to set up and mirror the ending of the film, but that doesn’t mean I have to be okay with it. Just a fair warning for all my fellow animal lovers out there.* Australian horror pulls no punches, so be aware going in.

*The only spoiler I’ll give is that Cookie the Bulldog comes out mostly unscathed, minus a makeout scene. And yes, you read that correctly. 

Yeah, they really have a hand-le on things. 

Secondly, I want to discuss the pacing. Now, I don’t necessarily think this is detrimental to the film AT ALL, but I do think it’s a little fast-paced. As an avid YouTube watcher, I think it tracks that the directors come from YouTube backgrounds. 

At times, it feels like watching something from Alex Bale or another horror ARG and/or analog horror series, but again, I don’t necessarily think that’s bad; it’s more of just something for the Philippou Bros to keep in mind if they continue filmmaking.

At the risk of becoming the quintessential dead mom girl, I fully understand where Mia is coming from. I miss KP every single day, and I know how much it hurts. But, “just one more” is never enough. If I had one last call with KP, I’d want another. I’d want another text. I’d want another visit. “Just one more” is never enough, and that’s what really gets Mia in the end. Have we learned nothing from Pet Sematary?

Also, these are some of the horniest spirits I’ve ever seen. I can honestly say a new insecurity has been unlocked by what the spirit possessing James reveals to Jade. YIKES. I’m also not sure how they were able to channel Quentin Tarantino for the bedroom scene, as he’s still among the living. IYKYK. 

Do y’all think this is what The Beatles meant?

With my luck, however, I’d be the ghost trapped in the bathroom stall because of how my stomach operates, and not be one of the horned-up spirits we see during the hand-holding scenes. I digress. 

From horrific glimpses into Hell (that seem to be a cross between Event Horizon and the shunting scene from Society) to demons dry-humping the carpet, Talk to Me is not only an exceptionally done horror movie, but it’s a great metaphor for both grief and addiction. 

Throughout the film, Mia grapples with the loss of her mother and gets high off of the hand, enabling her addiction. There’s one line in particular I want to call out. Sue (Miranda Otto, who, by the way, is incredible as always) tells Mia she “knows she’s done stuff before” (meaning drugs) when questioning Mia in the hospital, leading us to believe that Mia has struggled with addiction in the past. Earlier in the film, Sue makes a comment about Mia having smoked pot, but this call out seems different. This leads us to believe Mia might be trading one addiction for another. 

My friend Brooke called out the scene where Hayley and co are all taking turns with the hand, and I think she’s on to something. Brooke said our cast of characters seemed “euphoric,” and I’m inclined to agree. I know this scene is embedded within a horror movie, but it could have easily been nestled within Trainspotting or Requiem for a Dream. 

MFW a stretch turns into a leg cramp. 

There’s so much to unpack within Talk to Me, so I’m going to stop here. The Philippous deserve your money, and I don’t want to deter anyone from seeing the movie by diving in further. The themes of addiction, grief, and loneliness are incredibly well-executed, and I could spend hours going scene-by-scene. 

It also further proves my theory that YouTube really is the breeding ground for the next wave of horror. Mark my words. 

Well, friends, I’ll leave it here. In the meantime, and I shouldn’t have to say this, but if anyone you know claims they have an embalmed hand that allows you to communicate with the dead, recommend Cards Against Humanity instead. 

Here at A24, we pride ourselves on two things: bodies in the road and faces slamming into furniture. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Justin Simien’s Haunted Mansion into the ol’ VCR.

Okay, did I accidentally plan the most grief-heavy double feature and see both this and Talk to Me on the same day? Yes. And honestly, Haunted Mansion is the foil to Talk to Me. 

I won’t spoil the story for any of you, but there are two sides to the coin of grief, and Haunted Mansion takes a much healthier approach. I digress. 

This won’t be a long review, but I felt like Haunted Mansion deserved a dedicated review outside of Bite-Sized Sundays, as it was unexpectedly touching and made me tear up. 

Queen Amidala, I love your work! 

Grief is a hell of a thing, and it impacts all of us differently. The common factor is that at the end of the day, we all must learn to cope. Our hero, Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield), must learn how to embrace life again after a devastating loss. Enter Gabbie (Rosario Dawson), her son Travis (Chase Dillion), Father Kent (Owen Wilson), Harriet (Tiffany Haddish), Bruce (Danny DeVito), and… 999 ghosts. Ben is ultimately put to the test and must decide whether to relive (or re-un-live the past) or move forward. Jamie Lee Curtis is there, too. 

Haunted Mansion is funny, charming, and touching, particularly in its explanation of “ghost winks.” Harriet, our loveable and eccentric medium, explains to Ben that if our loved ones are at peace and have fully passed on, they send us signs from the beyond called “ghost winks.” 

Spoiler: I bawled. 

Additionally, Dan Levy and Winona Ryder’s cameos truly steal the show, where Winona Ryder may or may not have alluded to being into BDSM (No, this isn’t a bit, but I’ve heard Stranger Things in my life 🥴)? 

I wonder if Jared Leto uses the same monologues from Haunted Mansion when trying to get people to join his cult.  

At its core, Haunted Mansion is a beautiful illustration of grief disguised as a gateway horror movie. Kids will love this movie, but it’ll be more impactful to adults. If you’ve ever lost a loved one, Ben’s plight will resonate with you. 

My only complaint with Haunted Mansion is that I wish there was more insight into the stories of the ghosts taking up residence within its walls, much like Thir13en Ghosts. Here’s hoping both eventually get a series, where the cast and crew involved are paid what they deserve 🤞

Welcome, foolish mortals. You’re in for one hell of a ride.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite summer-themed horror movies into the ol’ VCR. 

Well, friends, it’s officially my least favorite season. And, unfortunately, the one I was also born into. As the days grow longer, you’ll need more activities to fill your day… like watching a bunch of slashers. 

Before y’all come for me, I need you to listen. There are so many great movies that technically fall into this category; think about the ones set at summer camps, alone. So, I had to make an executive decision, and keep it at four. 

On that note, it’s time to grab your popsicles, crank up the AC, and beat the heat with these hot horrors: 

Summer of 84: Buzz, that ending monologue. WOOF.

Midsommar: Good for her.

Jaws: Fish(erman) are friends, not food.

I Know What You Did Last Summer: I’m hooked on this one.

I can fix him. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of our favorite doll-related content into the ol’ VCR. 

In honor of Barbie, I wanted to give y’all four other doll-centric movie recommendations. Now, this is an eclectic mix, to say the least, but these picks should fill the Barbie Jeep-sized hole in your heart. Or, y’know, serve as some great conversation pieces.

Life-Size: Bride of Chucky for ages 9 and up. 

Bride of Chucky: I still don’t understand how the hair dye worked.

Halloween 2017 

Fun fact: A friend of mine walked into the Halloween party I was throwing and asked me where I was because he didn’t recognize me with blonde hair. 

M3GAN: I really want a movie where M3GAN fights Tiffany Valentine.

A Mom for Christmas (just go with it): I’m not speaking from experience, but I wouldn’t watch this while working the front desk during your freshman year of college because you’ll start crying, and people WON’T understand. (YouTube)