B Movies Blog

Note: Check back for updates as new content is announced!

January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping vampire content into the ol’ VCR. 

Vampires are one of my favorite creatures within the horrorverse. They’re portrayed as everything from scary to funny to sexy and back again. I also read all of the Twilight books as a teenager, thank you for asking. But I digress. 

In honor of the new season of What We Do In The Shadows starting up this week, I want to throw out some of my favorite pieces of vampire content. The interpretation of vampires varies throughout these movies and series, but at the end of the day, they’re all still a bloody good time. 

Movies

What We Do In The Shadows (2014): This is Spinal Tap but with fangs. (VOD)

Dracula (1932): Sometimes, you have to go above and beyond for a good commission. (VOD)

Only Lovers Left Alive: Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston being hot for over two hours. (VOD)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992): RIP Luke Perry. (HBO Max) 

The Lost Boys: This is only a blog, Michael. (VOD) 

WERK. 

Byzantium: I don’t have a bit for this one; I just think this movie is criminally underrated. (Pluto TV, Tubi) 

From Dusk Till Dawn: From vampires to cannibalism, Juliette Lewis has really been through it. (HBO Max)  

Let The Right One In: My Girl but if Macaulay Culkin was stung by bees and then became a vampire. (Pluto TV and Tubi) 

Afflicted: All friendships go through rough patches. (Showtime/Paramount+) 

Fright Night (1985): Fright Night walked so that Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire could run. (Tubi) 

Mom’s Got a Date with A Vampire: “Mr. Sheffield!” – said like Fran Drescher (Disney+) 

When someone says you should smile more. 

Series

What We Do In The Shadows (2019 – present): Jackie Daytona approves this message. (Hulu)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003): High school can be hell[mouth].  (Hulu) 

Salem’s Lot (1979):  Don’t worry, Eminem. It doesn’t seem like anyone will be growing old in Salem’s Lot. (VOD) 

Me, lying in bed listening to my alarm and contemplating my entire existence. 

Honorable mention

Renfield: I just want to hug Renfield in his little, colorful sweaters and tell him everything’s going to be okay. (VOD) 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping wine mom content into the ol’ VCR. 

Let’s face it. We all have unsavory movies and shows we love. I’m a horror fan to my core, but sometimes, I need some lighthearted content that makes me want to sip my Dr. Pepper out of a wine glass (for context, I’ve been sober for almost two years).

Let me also be clear. It’s not that these shows are bad; it’s just that their essence screams Target throw pillows paired with a beige knit quilt. They make you want to redo your entire kitchen in Coke memorabilia and say, “Oh bless your heart,” if you will. 

As I told my friends the other day, I’m just a single mom who works too hard, who loves her kids and never stops when it comes to this type of content. 

So, friends, put up your messy buns and grab your yoga pants because we’re talking about the specific niche of wine mom content. 🍷

Movies 

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: Now this one is a true classic. You have an amazing cast, the complexities of mother/daughter relationships, and most importantly, Ellen Burstyn. KP even made me a tote bag that declared me a Petite Ya-Ya. (HBO Max) 

Where The Heart Is: If you can go into a Walmart and not survey what products you could use if you have to live within its aisles, I’m sorry. (VOD)

Hope Floats: KP and I scoured thrift stores to find her a silver lunchbox to use as a purse like Birdee’s. Also, there have been many a’ time I would’ve loved to publicly air all of my hometown’s dirty laundry. (Tubi) 

The First Wives Club: If “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” doesn’t make you feel invincible, I don’t know how to help you. (HBO Max) 

This sister is lighting her cigarette for herself. 

Shows 

Sweet Magnolias: I’m responsible for getting several friends and coworkers addicted to this show. It’s absolutely ridiculous, but you need to watch it immediately. (Netflix)

Firefly Lane: Is it essentially Beaches? Yes. Do I still think you should watch it? Absolutely. (Netflix)

Dead to Me: I’m a Jen sun, and a Judy rising. (Netflix)

Ginny & Georgia: I wasn’t going to put Ginny & Georgia on this list. However, Raymond Ablack from Degrassi: The Next Generation plays a love interest for Georgia, so I’m legally obligated. (Netflix)

YOU: I can’t express this enough – YOU SHOULDN’T WANT TO BE WITH JOE. (Netflix)

This entire show smells like a TJ Maxx. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Wes Anderson’s Asteroid City into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, friends, it’s time for us to discuss my movie writing origin story. And, unlike some of my tangents, I promise this one actually connects to Wes Anderson. 

You see, I took an insane amount of dual credit classes in high school, so I went into college as a second-semester sophomore. This meant I had a lot of flexibility in my classes, and it’s a big reason why I tried out a couple of different majors before landing on PR & Advertising. 

What many of you don’t know is that I didn’t really have a passion for pop culture writing specifically until college. I know, it’s a lot to process. 

But, during my junior year of college, I took a class called Film Theory & Analysis that remains one of my favorite classes to this very day. The two big assignments for the class were film analysis papers — one film you chose as an individual and one film the class voted on. 

For my first analysis paper, I chose Requiem for a Dream. I turned in my paper, and when my professor handed them back out, there was an A++ on the front with the note, “Come see me.” 

If you ever leave me a cryptic note like that, I’ll always jump to the worst scenario aka I thought I had somehow made a 110 but plagiarized. 

I was confused, but I scheduled time to meet with him the next day where he proceeded to ask me how long I’d been writing about movies. I told him this was my first major analysis outside of some various newspaper film reviews in high school and college. He was shocked and told me that I needed to write about movies. 

Cut to the other paper of the class. Moonrise Kingdom had just been released on DVD, so our class voted to make it the topic of our second paper. I received this paper back with an A+++ on the front and another note to see my professor. 

During this second meeting, my professor told me I HAD to write about movies, and this is what I was meant to do. Looking back, I fully agree. My passion took flight in my professor’s office, and I would’ve gotten my film minor if he taught the other two classes I needed. However, the professor teaching the last two classes I needed didn’t like me one bit, so I came up six hours short. 

I wish I could’ve told 20-year-old Baillee that her professor was right, and she was meant to do this. I wish I could’ve told her that people would read about all of her opinions, and that she’d find her audience (as well as not to listen to the other film professor who thought her analyses were “too different.”). But, honestly, I don’t know if she would’ve listened. I digress. 

I saved Latin. What did you ever do?

Asteroid City made me feel the same way Moonrise Kingdom did. I’ll be so bold to admit I started smiling when it started. It’s obvious Wes Anderson really had fun with this one, and I’d consider it one of his lighter works, as well as one of his funniest; the comedic beats in Asteroid City are *chef’s kiss.* 

Running two concurrent storylines of the play and the making of the play could’ve easily fallen apart, or, quite frankly, gotten really pretentious. But, our boy Wes manages to avoid the perils of meta filmmaking while also making a solid 1950s Sci Fi Western. 

I feel like this movie was made for kids who did fine arts in high school (I was in band from 6th-12th grades, including both marching and concert) and also secretly loved the unit on The Crucible like I did. I also controversially think that Wes Anderson fans will either really like this movie or call it one of his weakest. I don’t think there will be a lot of in-between. 

I truly adore this movie. I think it’s hilarious and beautifully made. I also think it’s a wonderful examination of filmmaking, screenwriting, playwriting, and everything else along the way. I also promise I don’t love this movie simply because there’s a dead mom in the premise. 

Me praying that Maya Hawke has earned her place with the Wes Anderson regulars. 

I don’t think Asteroid City will lose its charm if you choose to wait for a physical and/or digital release, but I think seeing it on the big screen adds something special. Plus, if you’re like me and live in a state with hot ass summers, nothing beats spending an afternoon in a cool movie theater. 

So, grab some friends or kick it solo and spend two hours with aliens, a tupperware urn, and one of my favorite Wes Anderson movies. 

P.S. Professor Butler, if you ever see this, thank you.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping my pop culture tattoos into the ol’ VCR. 

Today, my dear readers, we’re doing something a little unique. I have 20+ tattoos and counting. And, as I’m sure you could guess, many of them are rooted in pop culture. I thought we could take a fun little tour throughout those particular tattoos and give my artists some well-deserved credit. There are definitely more on the list, so believe me, this is only the beginning. 

I’m also going to link some of my artists, so please check them out if you’re looking for a new artist, want to support their art, or just want to see some amazing talent. 

**The following tattoos were done by two different artists, who I unfortunately don’t have contact info for.** 

Petunia from The Adventures of Pete and Pete 

Petunia was my second tattoo ever. She was the only tattoo that 21-year-old Baillee knew she wanted, and it’s magical when people recognize her in the wild. 

Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World 

“Believe in yourself. Dream. Try. Do good.” I know these may just seem like words from the Boy Meets World series finale, but they’ve always been my internal mantra. I have these words tattooed to remind myself that no matter how bad things are, or how bad my day is, I need to “do good.” 

Laurie Strode from Halloween (1978) 

**The following tattoo was done by Matt Thomas, and you can find him on Instagram at @creepshowtattoos.**

I’ve spoken about this at length, but the Halloween franchise is my favorite horror franchise. And, Halloween ‘78 was a movie I shared with KP, so it’s extremely important to me. Laurie Strode is a badass, and this tattoo not only pays homage to one of my favorite movies, but it reminds me to pull my strength like Laurie. 

Jane Lane from Daria 

**The following tattoos were done by Ashley Thomas, and you can find her on Instagram at @ashleythomastattoos.**

Jane Lane is a true icon. I’ve talked about her and Macie both already, but I’ve been compared to Jane Lane since college. We’re kindred spirits, so it just felt right for her to kick off my tattoo journey. Plus, she led to a great friendship between Ashley and me. 🖤

Macie Lightfoot from As Told By Ginger

I have a weird thing about symmetry with my tattoos and like for them to mirror. Thankfully, Ashley appreciated my vision and was just as stoked to do Macie as she was Jane. I think Jane and Macie are very similar in that they don’t succumb to the influences around them and can only be who they are. 

Winnifred Sanderson from Hocus Pocus 

I feel like this tattoo needs the least explanation. I’m a Hallowqueen who grew up watching Hocus Pocus at least once a year. KP even got me a broom from Big Lots to sit on the arm of our sofa so I could pretend like I was flying with the Sanderson sisters. 

Count McNugget 

**All of the following tattoos were done by my current artist, and you can find them on Instagram at @tattoosbylito.**

Count McNugget, along with Count Chocula, Garfield and Odie, and The Witch all represent my family heirloom, the circa 1985 CBS Halloween Lineup recorded on VHS. This special has the original commercials for the Counts as well as Garfield’s Halloween Adventure and Witch’s Night Out specials. My right arm is basically a tribute to Halloween/all things spooky, and I’m happy to have all of these tattoos in the mix. 

Bo Burnham’s Inside (yeah, yeah) 

I wrote a piece on Bo Burnham’s Inside in June 2021. To most people, it was probably just another one of my pop culture pieces. But, for me, this piece marked a shift in my mindset. My piece got a lot more attention than I ever thought it would. I got a quote from the special to remind myself what I’m capable of… as well as that I can never meet Bo Burnham because there’s a slight chance he’s read one, if not both, of the giant pieces I’ve written about his specials and The Inside Outtakes.

Count Chocula 

Another member of the family heirloom club, Count Chocula will forever have a special place in my heart. I still get a box every spooky season, and it hits me right in the childhood nostalgia. 

Jennifer Check from Jennifer’s Body

First and foremost, Jennifer’s Body helped me realize I wasn’t straight, so it’s an important movie to me and for me. Secondly, Jennifer’s Body is just a criminally underrated movie, and I’m glad it’s finally getting the credit it deserves. 

The Halloween Tree 

This one is the most sentimental out of my pop culture tattoos. KP would rent The Halloween Tree and Elvira: Mistress of the Dark for us at the beginning of every spooky season. When she was diagnosed with cancer, she got all three of us (my sister being the third person in question) a copy of the novel and wrote an inscription. I got this tattoo a few months before she passed, so she was able to see it, and it made everyone tear up. 

Garfield and Odie from Garfield’s Halloween Adventure

Garfield’s Halloween Adventure is an annual rewatch for me, and as previously mentioned, it’s another tribute to the ol’ family heirloom. My sister and I quote it year-round, and, surprisingly, this tattoo was her idea. 

The Witch from Witch’s Night Out 

The VVitch could NEVER. Witch’s Night Out is yet another annual rewatch and yet another part of the great family heirloom homage. If you’ve never seen this special, I recommend watching it ASAP because Gilda Radnor and Catherine O’Hara both lend their voices. Additionally, the animation style is so incredibly unique. 

.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Bo Burnham’s Inside into the ol’ VCR. 

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. I know what you’re all thinking. 

“But Baillee, you’ve written 30+ pages about Inside.” 

My friends, I totally hear you. I’m not here today to talk about the color scheme of Bo’s clothing nor am I here to break down Inside bit by bit. Hell, I’m not even here to talk about The Inside Outtakes. I’m here to briefly talk about why Inside is so important to me (and why I got a quote from the special tattooed). 

Let’s flashback to May 30, 2021 when Inside was released. I actually waited several days to watch this special. I’d been waiting for a new Bo Burnham special so that I could savor every second. 

Mental health-wise, I wasn’t in a very good spot. I was extremely unhappy with where I was in life, and my eardrum had decided to spontaneously rupture. My mom had to extend her visit to help me around the house. I felt stuck and helpless, and I was straight up not having a good time, bro. 

Then, I watched Inside. I’d never seen such relatable content. From writing to mental health issues, Bo Burnham articulated how I felt in ways I’d never been able to fully capture. That’s why Inside is so important to me. 

As someone who has clinical depression and anxiety, and is creatively brained to her core, I get it. I obviously know that this is a special, and Bo’s a phenomenal writer/director/actor. I GET IT. The performance still doesn’t take away how it made me feel. That’s the real meaning of pop culture, right?

It doesn’t matter that it’s pretend; it’s how the media makes us feel. This brings us to the why. 

Why is the first piece I wrote about Inside so special to me?

To recap, I wasn’t in a good headspace. To be fully transparent, I was doubting myself as a writer. I’ve been writing my entire life, and it’s one of the few things I’ll openly admit comes naturally to me/that I’m really good at. 

However, I was in a full-on rut. Inside drug me out of my hole by my ankles. I spent hours upon hours watching Bo’s previous two specials. I watched Inside 5-6 more times to cross my t’s and dot my i’s. For the first time in a hot minute, I was passionate about something. 

And, my first piece on Inside got a lot of attention. People I hadn’t spoken to in YEARS were messaging me to compliment my piece. They wanted to talk about the method behind my madness. They wanted to talk about my theories. People wanted to talk about MY writing. 

The first piece I wrote about Inside solidified the talent I thought I had. It not only marked a big shift in my mindset, but in my career. Later that year, I applied to be a Copywriter and used this piece as a writing sample. 

I became more confident in my writing. I stopped caring what people would think about my voice as a writer because I’ve always had a distinct tone. That piece transformed me Inside and out. Hence the tattoo. 

I got a line from Inside tattooed on my left arm because I’m right-handed and can look at it whenever I’m in doubt about my writing (the placement was KP’s idea for this very reason, and it will forever prove she understood me in a way no one else ever will). 

Inside isn’t special to me because of my love of Bo Burnham’s work (I still love you, BB, don’t worry), but because it marks the beginning of me truly believing what everyone around me had been telling me for years. 

Ya girl is a writer, through and through. I’m a “wake up in the middle of the night to write an idea or piece” girlie, and that’s all I know how to be. That leads me to the last point of this piece. 

I’m not saying I won’t ever come back to Inside, but the two year anniversary of my first piece launching seems like the perfect time to say goodbye. We’ve talked about Bo’s clothing, we’ve speculated about what the smile at the end means, and we’ve even joked about me drunkenly sliding into Bo’s DMs to talk about how good Eighth Grade was, which is true, if anyone is wondering. (I’m also almost two years sober, and this only played a tiny part).

I still rewatch Inside, and I still love it very much, but I think I’ve covered everything there is to be said. At least for now. 

Bo, if you’re reading this, please, for the love of God, don’t ever Google my name and any variation of your name or any references from the special. Additionally, don’t ever look through my Instagram, particularly at any posts from the photoshoot I did for my 30th birthday. 

TIA. HAGS. TGIF. 

Inside and The Inside Outtakes are streaming on Netflix. 

You can also read the piece that started it all, Should I Be Writing At A Time Like This?: Inside Bo Burnham’s Latest Masterpiece, over on the Hyperreal Film Club website. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Lauren Iungerich’s series Awkward. into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, okay. I know I’ve already teased an upcoming piece on my fave MTV shows from high school and college, but hear me out. Writing that piece sent me on an Awkward. rewatch. Which led me to a lot of thinking. Which has led me to write a full-blown piece on Awkward. itself. 

In the spirit of Jenna Hamilton, this is not only going to be a review, but a salacious little personal essay. I’ve been blogging for over 12 years, so it’s not like I have anything to hide. Plus, my Matty McKibben of sorts doesn’t really believe in social media, so it’s a win-win. But, I digress. 

Additionally, it’s time for another world famous disclaimer. Awkward. DEFINITELY has some offensive things in it. I’m not here to defend it, and there’s not really an excuse for it outside of being on MTV from 2011-2016, and their programming wasn’t exactly known for being appropriate. So, just keep that disclaimer in mind if you want to settle in for a binge. 

WATDD (With All The Disclaimers Done, as Tamara would abbreviate), let’s get to it. 

Raise your hand if you were shocked by who wrote the carefrontation letter.

I mentioned this back in my MTV piece, but Awkward. had a tight grip on me throughout college and the couple of years after (we’re talking tighter than Jenna’s side braid). First and foremost, Jenna was a writer (like moi), and, embarrassingly enough, Awkward. was one of my inspirations to start my personal blog in the first place. 

Secondly, I had crushes on both Beau Mirchoff and Molly Tarlove in college,and somehow still thought I was straight. Nothing further, your honor. 

Thirdly, there’s something about Awkward. I just love. Idk if it’s because Jenna reminds me of high school and college Baillee (minus the actually having sex part). College Baillee was something else, and I don’t necessarily know if it was something good, but, that’s who I was. I was definitely cringy and a little self-absorbed like Jenna, so I think I related to her but not in the ways I thought I did.

And finally, I, deep sigh, understand Jenna’s plight as a writer. From Ione Skye’s advice about how being a writer basically makes you a masochist, to writing for an online publication that overhauls your piece, after assuring you that you had final approval. 

Yes, this is basically the exact same haircut I have. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.

Awkward. chronicles Jenna Hamilton’s (Ashley Rickards) journey through high school and into the public eye after a tragic accident and secret summer camp hookup catapult her into popularity. It’s part Diablo Cody and part Never Have I Ever, all while dabbling in cringe territory. 

At its nexus, Awkward. follows Matty (Beau Mirchoff) and Jenna’s relationship as it evolves from a rendezvous to love, and everything in-between. Although Matty and Jenna have their fair share of other relationships, both good and bad, I’ve always been Team Matty (and I realized as an adult that it’s because the men I tend to like or fall for are complicated and emotionally unavailable). 

In the way of other teen shows, the teens on Awkward. act like they’re at a trampoline park with the way they jump to conclusions. There are so many episodes where the central conflict could be solved through a simple conversation. But who wants to watch a three-minute long episode?

As an adult, this watch of Awkward. made me reflect on some of my own relationships from the past. Now, friends, I’m not going to give you a full recap of all of the people I’ve liked or hooked up with (we’ll keep my Bo Burnham piece as the longest pop culture piece I’ve written), but I want to briefly touch on my own Matty McKibben. 

Be-hymen is still one of the FUNNIEST things I’ve ever heard.

There was once a dude in my life, but we could never get the timing quite right either. As an adult, I’ve learned not to romanticize relationships like this. Sometimes, the universe gives you an almost to prep you for your definitely. Do I still have feelings for my Matty McKibben? A little, yeah, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But, sometimes, you also have to know when to just let something go. 

Sometimes, it isn’t just bad timing. Sometimes, even if you have feelings for each other, it’s just not meant to work out. And that’s okay. I know that Matty and Jenna will ultimately (maybe?) be together, but it’s unhealthy to force relationships that don’t work. 

I’d be lying if I said it still didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies to watch, though. But, as I’m coming up on 31 years on this big ol’ hunk of rock, I thought I’d a) throw out some advice and b) I’ve been thinking about my own Matty McKibben and wanted to remind myself how toxic that entire situation was (I also realized the only place I hadn’t blocked him was on Venmo, so for the first time in my life, I, an adult woman, blocked someone on Venmo). 

All of my friends reading this and pretending to be shocked at me writing about this dude.

At risk of spewing the deets on more of multiple romantic mishaps, I’ll leave you with some words from Sadie Saxton’s (Molly Tarlov) iconic graduation speech

“Be the hero of your own goddamn story.” 

You’re welcome. 

Awkward. is now streaming on Paramount+

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Charlie Brooker’s series, Black Mirror, into the ol’ VCR. 

Well, friends, the time has finally come. We FINALLY have new episodes of Black Mirror. 

I definitely think this season was worth the wait, BUT I do have some strong feelings about the premise of Black Mirror. The original idea behind the series was to examine the dystopian dangers of technology. And, for a while, Black Mirror lived within the confines of technological terrors. 

However, it’s clear with the new season that Charlie Brooker is wanting to make a horror series outside of Black Mirror. NETFLIX, GIVE THIS MAN A HORROR SHOW. You can keep the Black Mirror name if you absolutely must, but take out the technological angle. On the flip side, please keep all of the Easter eggs for other episodes (pay close attention to the other nominees announced in Loch Henry). 

I think Charlie Brooker and Co could make a wonderful show like Fear Itself or American Horror Stories. This season almost watches like a proof of concept. Since Mike Flanagan has moved to Prime, let’s bring on Charlie Brooker for horror content. Black Mirror has always been horror, if not horror adjacent, so why not take the plunge into straight horror and/or horror comedy?

Now that I’m on my soapbox, let’s get into the episodes themselves in order of my definitive ranking. 

Demon 79 

This is not only my favorite episode of the season, but it’s in my top five of the entire series. It’s an incredibly well done horror/comedy that serves as an homage to the horror of the 1970s. My prediction is that we’ll also see listens of Boney M’s “Rasputin” spike like we saw for Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” when Stranger Things 4 premiered. Chuck, I have no notes.

This is the first caption where I can say, “Man, I love Boney M,’ without being sarcastic. 

Beyond the Sea 

Two things up top: 1) Aaron Paul is one hell of an actor and 2) Josh Hartnett can still get it. This episode kept me guessing until the last few minutes, and I’m known for my annoying ability to see twists coming from a mile away. The remnants of old Black Mirror are present, but again, the technology isn’t the focal point. Also, the last scene of this episode is *chef’s kiss*. 

I’ll admit that I said, “Mr. White” after several of Aaron Paul’s lines to make myself laugh. 

Joan Is Awful 

Joan Is Awful is the obligatory “funny” episode of the season, and it’s the most Black Mirror episode of the season. Annie Murphy really shows off her acting chops, and Salma Hayek’s self-reports don’t come across as forced or cruel. Additionally, I never thought I would ever hear Salma talk about her asshole. It’s funny and silly and meta, so we all know I enjoyed it. 

I blame Zoey Deutch’s movie, Not Okay, for bringing back the chunky highlights I definitely had in the sixth grade. 

Loch Henry 

Okay, let’s talk about Loch Henry. Personally, I feel like they wanted to riff on the true crime genre but didn’t know exactly how to stick the landing. Contrary to Beyond the Sea, I saw the twist coming early into the episode, and the “technology” being video tapes and/or streaming services is a loose connection at best. I’ll give them props for the fake intro, though, because it’s absolutely how Netflix would frame the content in a true crime miniseries. 

The real mystery here is what happened to the plot. 

Mazey Day 

Now, my sister and I heavily disagree on this episode. I think it’s purposely framed as a mid-to-early aughts horror movie, but I can also see how the episode watches a bit lazy and plays out an old trope. However, I think Mazey Day is the strongest case for my theory that Charlie Brooker wants to go full horror. This episode reminded me SO MUCH of Fear Itself, it’s not even funny. I don’t think the episode is necessarily bad, but I do think it’s the weakest out of the bunch, especially when it’s compared to heavy-hitters like Beyond the Sea and Demon 79. 

This photo is how I feel when I’m walking down the street with headphones in. 

Black Mirror is now streaming on Netflix.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Gabriel Bier Gislason’s Attachment into the ol’ VCR. 

I’ll openly admit that I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I’ve had little flings, crushes, the works, but I have yet to find my Mrs./Mr./Mx. And Attachment proves I haven’t found the one. 

You see, I’m a rather independent individual, and I haven’t found someone who I’m willing to live with, let alone battle a demon for. However, for Leah and Maja, that’s not the case. 

Attachment starts as every good horror movie does — with a nice little meet cute. Leah is an American tourist, and Maja is a Danish actor starring in a children’s TV show. One thing leads to another, and the two are soon smitten. 

It turns out Mother truly does know best. 

When Leah suffers a medical crisis, Maja decides to accompany her back to New York. It’s here that Maja learns Leah’s affliction might not be physical after all. 

Attachment could have been an ill-thought out play on the lesbian UHaul joke. Fortunately for us, it’s much more. Attachment is about relationships, both romantic and mother/daughter, and the sacrifices we make for those we love. Maja and Leah’s relationship isn’t exploited; it’s simply a story about two people in a relationship…and one happens to have a demonic entity vying for their soul. 

I went into Attachment with low expectations (again, I’ve been hurt before by dead lesbian syndrome, over the top LGBTQIA+ tropes, etc…), and I came out really impressed. I think it’s exceptionally well-done, and I was satisfied from opening to closing credits. I also haven’t seen many horror movies rooted in Jewish lore, but this is one of the best entries in the subgenre I’ve seen by far. 

“Is now the time to ask who did your stained glass windows?”

Love may allegedly mean never having to say sorry, but it does mean sometimes having to say, “Hey, babe, we need to do something about your possession.”* 

* Note: This isn’t a real quote from the movie, but it could be. 

Attachment is now streaming on Shudder.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some cartoons into the ol’ VCR. 

I love cartoons. Seriously. I’m a little animation fiend. I think it’s easy to write off cartoons because of the medium. But, some of the cartoons from my childhood, and some of the cartoons I watch in adulthood, have more inclusion and better storytelling than their live action counterparts. Additionally, animation gives a creator more flexibility to share their narratives, as cartoons don’t have the same confines and restrictions as live action shows. 

All this to say, I love cartoons. Several of my tattoos even pay homage to the cartoons that raised me (and there are plans for several more, trust me), as well as the cartoons that came around a bit later on in my life. 

There’s no way I can include every single cartoon I loved as a kid; I was fortunate to grow up in the golden age of Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney, etc… So I’ve chosen the cartoons I still revisit to this very day. The same goes for the cartoons I’ve found in the past few years. 

I’m going to divide things up a smidge to keep “old” and “new” separate, but my love of these cartoons remains equal across the categories.  

Alrighty, friends, let’s hop to it. 

The Cartoons That Raised Me 

As I said earlier, I’m extremely lucky to have grown up in the era of cartoons that I did. I was, for lack of a better term, an interesting child, and all of the cartoons I watched only fueled my weirdness.

As Told By Ginger – First and foremost, Ginger was a writer, and I’ve been writing ever since I got a Barbie journal in Kindergarten. Also, As Told By Ginger showed the kind of peeps I was hanging out with and paralleled a lot of issues I faced. I also have a tattoo of Macie a la the talent show episode where she dresses up as The Little Seal Girl. 

Pepper Ann – Similarly to As Told By Ginger, Pepper Ann had these delusions of grandeur that I could relate to. I’ve always been a daydreamer (I think it goes hand-in-hand with the writer in me), and I also related to Pepper Ann’s plight of always wanting just a little bit more. I don’t have a Pepper Ann tattoo yet, but I can assure you that she’s on the list. 

Daria – I feel like this one is probably one of the most obvious. I’ve been compared to Jane Lane on multiple occasions (including comparisons from people other than myself). Daria, like most of the shows on this list, could never be replicated, and my god, do I understand wanting to break out of the confines of a small town. And yes, I do have a Jane Lane tattoo. 

Yeah, I think Jane is also the kind of girl who would have a ceramic fish plate she affectionately named Lance Bass hanging above the doorway of her kitchen. 

Space Ghost: Coast to Coast – Space Ghost: Coast to Coast and Daria are both unique in that not only are they two of my favorite cartoons, but they’re two of my favorite shows of all time. Space Ghost: Coast to Coast shaped Adult Swim as we know it, and I maintain that it’s one of the funniest shows of all time. I don’t have Tad Ghostal tattooed quite yet, but he’s also in the works. 

Doug – Sir Douglas Funnie and I go way back. I was even Quailman for Boo Bowl, aka I performed an entire high school marching band halftime show with underwear on the outside of khaki shorts. Like Pepper Ann, Doug had all of these big dreams, and like Ginger, he wrote about everything and everything in his life. It seems as though I have a type. 

Tiny Toons – I loved Tiny Toons, but there are two particular related properties that shaped me: Tiny Toons’ Night Ghoulery and the music video episodes, “Toon TV” and “Tiny Toon Music Television.” The grip these specials had over me. I’m a sucker for a good parody and a good reference, and these are *chef’s kiss*. 

I tried to teach myself to be ambidextrous because Doug was left-handed.

Hey Arnold! – Hey Arnold! is another prime example of lightning in a bottle. I don’t think it would land today in the same way it did back in the late 90s/early 00s. Hey Arnold! is one of those shows that I can pop on for background noise, or whenever I don’t know what to watch, and still have a great time. 

Kim Possible – My text tone is the Kimmunicator notification sound, and I have no shame in my heart. Kim Possible had several strong, female characters, and that’s what drew me in. Also, my massive crush on Will Friedle didn’t hurt. Kim Possible is like an animated version of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and I couldn’t get enough (especially the horror episode where they revisit Ron’s childhood summer camp).  

King of the Hill – I know this might seem like a weird entry, but King of the Hill was one of the few shows my entire family agreed on, so we watched it together. As an adult, I still constantly quote and/or reference it. I think it’s one of the funniest shows of all time, and it’s a little too close to home because I grew up in small town Texas. 

The Powerpuff Girls – I’ll be 31 soon, and I still watch The Powerpuff Girls’ Christmas special every single Christmas Eve. I was OBSESSED with the Powerpuff Girls. I had all of the playsets, the CD, you name it. 

RIP Brittany Murphy. 

The Cartoons That Found Me 

Note: I have plans to get tattoos of characters from all of these shows. 

Gravity Falls – I first watched Gravity Falls back in college, but I didn’t fully appreciate it until the pandemic started. I was in lockdown for three weeks, and I rewatched Gravity Falls at least twice (the pandemic is also how I got into YouTube, but that’s a story for another piece). This show is so very special to me, and Mabel Pines is truly an icon. 

Steven Universe – I also found Steven Universe at the beginning of the pandemic, and boy howdy, the way this show made me sob. I binged every piece of Steven Universe content I could, and when I reached the end, I sat in silence for several minutes. I had so many things on my plate that I cried BIG tears when Steven turned into a monster as a direct result of his mental health. If you haven’t seen Steven Universe, start watching it immediately. 

How I look sending work emails from my couch. 

The Owl House – A friend and I put on The Owl House to kill some time, and I was completely enamored. It’s extremely LGBTQIA+ inclusive, and it’s also made me sob on more than one occasion (honestly, every cartoon in this section has). It’s a travesty that this and Dead End: Paranormal Park were both canceled because the representation they gave was extremely important, especially with the current state of affairs. 

Dead End: Paranormal Park – Whenever anyone asks me for a show recommendation, I’ll always throw out Dead End: Paranormal Park. I already wrote an entire piece about this show, so I won’t gush too hard about it. But, you should absolutely watch both seasons as soon as possible. 

We Bare Bears – If you want to talk about tears, WOOF. We Bare Bears is wonderful, but get ready to cry some big, ugly tears, particularly in the flashbacks. I own a stuffed set of Grizz, Panda, and Ice Bear that currently reside in my living room. And yes, they’re designed to stack. 

Mfw I knew I was right the entire time and someone finally acknowledged they were wrong.

Streaming Cheat Sheet 

I thought it was a little jarring to throw streamers into the listicle itself, so I’ve created a handy dandy list that includes where you can stream all of the cartoons I mentioned. 

As Told By Ginger – Paramount+

Pepper Ann – Disney+

Daria – Paramount+ 

Space Ghost: Coast to Coast – Max 

Doug – Paramount+

Tiny Toons – Available to rent through VOD 

Hey Arnold! – Paramount+ 

Kim Possible – Disney+

King of the Hill – Hulu

The Powerpuff Girls – Max

Gravity Falls – Disney+, Hulu 

Stephen Universe – Max 

The Owl House – Disney+

Dead End: Paranormal Park – Netflix 

We Bare Bears – Max