B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the ol’ B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Sara Sugarman’s Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen into the VCR. 

Words cannot fully express the grip Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen had over me. I still have my copy of the book my mother went to the mall* and bought for me after the movie came out. Lola Stepp understood my soul when I felt like no one outside of my mom (herein referred to as KP) did. 

*I use this term lightly, as my hometown’s mall had no more than seven functioning stores at a time while I was alive. 

Now, I had friends. Hell, I’ve had the best friend for over 20 years, and a few of my other best friends are friends from childhood/people I grew up with. This includes the very friend who is editing my piece currently (Hey, El!). However, I never felt like I belonged in my hometown. Not in the wistfully looking out the window, listening to “Come Clean” teenage angst. I just felt like I could never fully be myself.

If you grew up with me, I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I know I wore a lot of bold clothing and said some of what was on my mind, but I didn’t fully come into my own for a long time. I needed to leave to fully become myself. 

I think I idolized Lola because she was herself, even when she lied. She wore what she wanted. She did what she wanted. She was what I wanted to be. My mom made a bunch of my clothes and accessories, and thrifted others, and looking back, I had the COOLEST stuff. I still mourn the vintage leather jacket and Souxie and the Banshees roadie tee I let get away because a kid teased me about them. 

I realize now people were a) jealous and b) didn’t understand because they didn’t have a fully formed scope of the world. A lot of people in my hometown hadn’t traveled very far or lived away from where they grew up. People thought my clothing was weird because they hadn’t seen it before, when in fact, I was actually so stylish and so ahead of my time. 

I also realize I had some toxic friends who were basically Jennifer Check clones from Jennifer’s Body (Carla Santini walked so Jennifer Check could run). It wasn’t until I moved and got older that I realized they were just trying to figure out life like I was, and we were all insecure, but acted on it in different ways. 

As an adult, I still channel Lola Stepp. I wear what I think is cool or what I like, and I try not to worry about what others think of me — it’s hard being both a Drama Queen and Anxiety Queen, but I’m doing my best. I also try to help teenage Baillee do all of the things she never could growing up. I’ve taken us on adventures, I’ve gotten us tattoos, I’ve shared our writing publicly instead of keeping it in notebooks in our bedroom. 

I try to give the girl looking up at the J14 and Tiger Beat posters on her ceiling, listening to the likes of Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance on her Zune the life she dreamed of. Because she was a Lola, even if some of those around her (outside of KP) didn’t see it. 

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is now streaming on Disney+.