B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Alexander Zapletal’s The Ketchup Vampires into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, friends, let’s get personal for a moment. If you remember waaaayyyy back in January when I first started the B Movies Blog (WOWZA), I wrote a little intro where I discussed why I write about pop culture. In said intro, I talked about being sick a lot as a kid (KP would sleep in clothes because she never knew if we would be going to the ER or not). 

Well, The Ketchup Vampires was one of the movies I was talking about when I mentioned getting to pick up movies from the likes of Big Lots and Dollar General. Needless to say, it holds a very special place in my heart. 

I watched it again for the first time in probably 20 years, and it’s truly wild. I’m also unsure if it’s a series or a movie, and sadly, I couldn’t find a lot of information about it. It seems to be from 1995, German in origin, dubbed, and the best part is, the American version (at least) is narrated by Elvira. 

I’ll give you a moment to process everything. 

Ready? Let’s keep going. 

The Frog Bros are at it again. 

If the name isn’t obvious, The Ketchup Vampires is a tale about tomato-loving vampires, their blood sausage-sucking counterparts, and a human family that gives big Little Miss Sunshine meets Flubber vibes. 

Our ketchup vampires and mortal family all live together, Full House-style, and Pinot, one of the vamps, and Bella, the mortal daughter, are in love (Stephanie Meyer clearly drew inspiration from this obscure children’s cartoon). Bella’s father is a scientist. Bella’s Uncle Leo looks like the love child of Frankenberry and Heat Miser. You get the picture. 

However, when Countess Helga and co show up to unearth an important book, all bets are off. There’s also a baby, a gaggle of male teenage vampires, Dracula?, etc… Again, it’s all truly insane. 

Don’t take glowing Ring Pops from strangers. 

The good news is, you can watch both The Ketchup Vampires and The Ketchup Vampires 2 (yes, there are two of these bad boys) on YouTube for free, so you can revel in the madness with me. 

Grab some Heinz, tie some red fabric around your head like a sweatband, and prepare for the sheer insanity that is The Ketchup Vampires.