B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of cinema’s deranged damsels into the ol’ VCR. 

Now, before we get into this piece, I’m going to give a disclaimer. I’ll give you all a minute to groan. 

Okay, ready?

I don’t think mental illness is a joke, and I’m not here to poke fun at people. I have clinical depression and anxiety myself. All of the movies and characters I mention in this piece are over the top and campy. I’m, in no way, being derogatory towards anyone with mental illnesses/mental health issues, and I never would. 

The subjects of this piece are the female characters who originally seem helpless/distraught/wounded, only to slit your throat as you bend down to help them up (I love this line, so if you don’t comment on anything else, throw me a bone on this one line). After careful consideration, I’ve chosen seven characters to hone in on, with an honorable mention to boot. 

With the particulars out of the way, let’s get into it.  

A Simple Favor 

First and foremost: Blake Lively, please slap the sorry out of me. We’ve talked about my love for Blake Lively in A Simple Favor before, so I’ll keep the gushing to a minimum. 

Secondly, I love this movie. There are scenes of high camp, it has mystery, and Blake Lively plays a femme fatale for the 21st century. When she initially befriends Anna Kendrick’s character, Stephanie, we think two women both struggling to connect with other mothers have found each other. 

Spoiler: both are more complex than we could have ever imagined, and their lives simultaneously unravel and intertwine leading to one hell of a third act. 

Find someone who looks at you the way Anna Kendrick looks at Blake Lively. 

Gone Girl 

Man, oh man. I hadn’t read Gillian Flynn’s novel before watching the movie, so I totally fell for Ben Affleck’s Chris Watts impression. The power this movie wields is truly incredible. We as an audience are manipulated into thinking Ben Affleck’s Nick Dunne is guilty as sin. That is until our perception is once again flipped, and Rosamund Pike’s Amy Dunne is revealed to be more calculated and manipulated than we could have ever expected. 

However, Carrie Coon’s Margo is really the most innocent person in the movie, as there’s more to every character’s story along the way. 

At its core, Gone Girl is essentially a masterclass in controlling audience perspective. 

When it comes to playing villains with bobs, Rosamund Pike is god tier. 

SwimFan 

Don’t @ me, but Swimfan is just a teenage version of Fatal Attraction. BUT, it’s still one of my guilty pleasures. I definitely had the hots for Jesse Bradford (especially as Cliff in Bring it On). Swimfan is steamy, campy fun, and Erika Christensen’s Madison embodies the deranged damsel. 

The plot of this film is as shallow as the kiddie pool. 

The Roommate 

Now, I’m fully aware that The Roommate is simply a remake of Single White Female. I know Single White Female is iconic, and I’ll never be able to think about SWF without picturing Jennifer Jason Leigh’s wig. My defense of The Roommate is as follows: 

1. Someone gets their BELLY BUTTON RING RIPPED OUT 
2. It stars Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Aly Michalka, AND Cam Gigandet. 
3. I scared the hell out of a couple of my friends who were younger than me and going into college the year after me. 

Call it nostalgia or bad taste, but Leighton Meester’s Rebecca deserves a spot on this list. 

Pictured: My anxiety reminding me of something I did in the 10th grade while I’m trying to sleep. 

Nightmare Alley 

Cate Blanchett as Dr. Lilith Ritter. Holy moly. I know this movie received mixed reviews, but I honestly really enjoyed it. Cate Blanchett absolutely destroys Bradley Cooper’s Stanton Carlisle, and the reveal is incredible. Additionally, we don’t often see Cate Blanchett as a villain, so it’s interesting to see her in a new light in the Nightmare Alley remake. 

Like c’mon. 

Sunset Blvd.

We’re taking it back to one of the original deranged damsels, Norma Desmond. Sunset Blvd. is an important film for many reasons, but the relationship between William Holden’s Joe and Gloria Swanson’s Norma Desmond is an important prototype for this subgenre of film. Norma Desmond is initially presented as a forgotten starlet who spends her days reminiscing about her Hollywood days. However, as she and Joe’s relationship evolves, it becomes more evident that Norma isn’t as harmless as she may seem. 

Me watching my Hot Pocket in the microwave.

Fatal Attraction (The TV series) 

This is a hot take, but I’m actually enjoying the Fatal Attraction series more than I enjoy the movie. Chalk it up to my love of both Joshua Jackson and Lizzy Caplan, but I think it’s more realized than the original. Lizzy Caplan’s Alex Forrest is the EPITOME of a deranged damsel. 

When she and Joshua Jackson’s Dan Gallagher begin their affair, things seem to be promising. After Dan ends things, it gets a little messy, a little murder-y, and a little (lotta) malicious.

Team Pacey 4ever. 

Honorable Mention 

I’ll fully admit that this is a weird pull, but go with it. Does anyone remember She Gets What She Wants aka Slap Her She’s French (yeah, I’m not a fan of the original title either)? For those who don’t (most of you), Piper Perabo stars as a French exchange student who begins stripping Jane McGregor’s Starla Grady of all her popularity and notoriety. 

As you can probably guess, Piper Perabo’s Genevieve Le Plouff isn’t who she appears to be, and her ridiculous vendetta has to be seen to be believed. 

I love Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall.