B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some creepy Christmas into the ol’ VCR. 

Now, friends, I know the holiday season is a time of pretty lights and wholesome Hallmark content. However, there’s a dark side to all things holly and jolly. 

That’s where holiday horror comes in. 

Holiday horror is fun because it subverts our expectations of the traditional, heart-warming holiday movie. Instead, we’re met with the likes of deranged Santas, murderous housewives, and centuries-old entities that drag naughty kids back to Hell. 

Tis the season. 

Get this guy some eggnog.

Listen, I put up my Christmas tree and swear at string lights that aren’t twinkling properly just like everyone else. I drink hot chocolate and wear tacky sweaters. I even abide by my own set of holiday traditions. 

But, my creepy little heart yearns for the spooky 365 days a year, and I know that many of you share the same sentiment. 

That’s why I wanted to throw out a few of my favorite gingerbread gorefests. 

And don’t worry, if you’re like me and still need some ooey gooey Christmas cheese, we have a list for that, too. 

There’s no amount of pizza money that can take away her trauma. 

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite holiday horrors:

• Krampus: My sexuality is the way Adam Scott says “honey.” 
• A Christmas Horror Story: Xavier Thorpe’s origin story. 
• Better Watch Out: Home Alone, directed by Christopher Landon. 
• SIlent Nights 1 & 2: I think this needs to be updated for modern times, so the line should be “GARBAGE AND RECYCLING DAY!” 
• Christmas Bloody Christmas: If you told me this was based on Tickle Me Elmo, I would believe you.   
• “All Through The Night” – Tales From The Crypt: Santa Baby, don’t hurry down the chimney tonight.