B Movies Blog

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping The Wedding Planner into the ol’ VCR. 

I was really in my head the other day, so I knew a sickeningly sweet rom-com would help me out of my slump. After browsing through a couple different streamers, I landed on The Wedding Planner. 

I remembered it being innocent enough, even the scene with the sculpture’s junk. 

You can only imagine my surprise when the charm I remembered was nonexistent. In fact, this entire script reeks of an AITA post, and I can assure you, everyone sucks here. 

First and foremost, let’s talk about that sexist opening. A little girl playing with dolls and then saying a bunch of stuff about how Barbie is lucky because she and Ken are going to participate in a bunch of traditional gender roles? Cool. 

“But, Baillee, this movie is almost 23 years old!” 

Okay, sure. Fine. It was of a time when this was normalized. 

Let’s move past the opening scene then. 

The entire premise of this film is that Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saves Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and proceeds to lie to her face about being engaged. Quite frankly, I don’t even know if Steve would’ve come clean if Mary hadn’t turned out to be his wedding planner. 

This is the face of a man who knows that he’s getting to have his cake and eat it too. 

Steve even ADMITS to Mary that he’s attracted to her while they’re at a potential wedding venue. While, again, he is fully engaged. He even almost kissed her when they were watching the movie at the park. 

“But, Baillee, Mary didn’t know.” 

That’s absolutely true, and Mary would’ve come out unscathed…until the scene at her apartment. 

Not to mention, all of this is happening while Mary’s father is trying to force her to marry someone, and she had to basically extort her boss for the promotion she deserved. 

The only person I would argue that doesn’t totally suck is Fran (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras), but her comment about Steve not knowing he wanted to give up his practice yet are questionable at best. 

Unsurprisingly, Fran’s parents do suck, though. Rich white people who are scoping out a wedding and helping themselves to everything available? It may be hard to believe, but these people are dreadful. 

“But, Baillee, you’re getting really fired up about a movie that can legally vote, drink, and can almost rent a car!” 

Yes, I know I am. I just haven’t been this fired up about a movie in a hot minute. 

Judy deserved so much better than this. 

I understand this came out in 2001 when a gay punchline was the height of comedy. I get it.

I also know that I’ve given movies with worse content a break, so I’ll give The Wedding Planner a break for its multitude of jokes at the expense of the LGBTQIA+ community. Do I condone them? Absolutely not. I also don’t condone its use of the “r” word, nor do I condone Justin Chambers’ fake Italian accent throughout the entirety of this movie. 

But, y’all, the entire premise of the movie is that a man lies to a woman and doesn’t appear to have any intention of being honest until they happen to meet. Then, the two of them continue to keep this secret from his fiance throughout the film as they continue to fall for each other. Nay, while they flaunt their chemistry in front of his fiance. 

Also, Steve refers to himself in the third person, and I think we’re supposed to find it cute and quirky, and I can’t stand for that. 

Like c’mon. 

And yes, I know that my trauma of having a parent that cheated multiple times is showing. 

“Listen, it’s 2001! Emotionally cheating isn’t considered a real thing, so this is all fine.”