B Movies Blog

Note: Check back for updates as new content is announced!

January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Brea Grant’s Torn Hearts into the ol’ VCR. 

Boy howdy, if one of your guilty pleasures was Monarch like me, do I have a movie for you. Torn Hearts is centered around a female country duo trying to break into the big time and enlist the help of a disturbed diva. Think Norma Desmond but with more rhinestones and whiskey. Without being incredibly obvious, our two wannabe stars realize they’re in for much more than a collaboration.

First and foremost, why the hell haven’t we been putting Katey Sagal in horror content? Ryan Murphy, make it happen. Better yet, add Pamela Anderson into the fold as well. 

Secondly, the music in Torn Hearts SLAPS. I’m a big fan of 20th century country, and this movie delivers. Although it’s set in the present, the overall vibe screams 80s country. 

Thirdly, the names are incredible. Harper and Hope Dutch go by The Dutchess Sisters. I can tell you that I’d listen to them by name alone. Also, Torn Hearts is comprised of Jordan Wilder and Leigh Blackhouse. Those names SCREAM opening for Leann Rimes at the Houston Rodeo in the 90s. 

Lastly, the clothes. MY GOD. The fringe, the pleather, the rhinestones. The outfits on all the creepy mannequins throughout the house, including the ones in the basement shrine. It’s called fashion, sweaty. Look it up. 
Whether it was Brea Grant’s intention or not, Torn Hearts almost watches like Country Strong by way of Karyn Kusama. I’m a huge Brea Grant fan, so if you’ve enjoyed her other movies, you’ll enjoy Torn Hearts. Hell, if you haven’t enjoyed her other movies (idk how), I still think you’ll  enjoy Torn Hearts. I’ll even forgive Abby Quinn for starring in Knock at the Cabin.

Torn Hearts is now streaming on Amazon Prime.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Battington’s Harmony & Horror series into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay friends, I have a brutal one for you today. I mean it, this one is a real doozy. However, it’s so masterfully done that I have to talk about it. I’m going to include some CW/TWs below, but there’s no way I can fully encompass all of the warnings needed for this series, so please don’t watch any of the videos if you’re the least bit apprehensive. 

CW/TW: child ab*s*, animal ab*s*, flashing lights, loud noises/sudden loud noises, jump scares, disturbing subject matter involving children, and gore. Viewer discretion is HEAVILY advised for this one. 

I was/am a big fan of Battington’s FNAF tapes, but I’m a little late to the ball game on his Harmony & Horror series. However, Loey Lane recently started the series in one of their streams, and I had to finish it. 

And friends, I had to take a break. As in, the girl who has fallen asleep watching the likes of The Exorcist (I love The Exorcist, but I sincerely put it on as background noise to fall asleep one night) had to TAKE a break in the middle of this series and come back to it later. That’s how effective this series is. 

A candid photo of me sleeping.

Harmony & Horror tells the story of Martin Greywhinder and his hellish quest to create the perfect toy…at any cost. If you’re a horror veteran, and you read my CW/TWs, you can already see where this is going. Buckle up. 

Martin Greywhinder, along with his brother Arthur, run a toy company called M&A Harmony Toys that seems to have innocent roots? She said, apprehensively. Somewhere along the way, Martin made some sort of bet with, checks notes, THE DEVIL, wherein Martin vowed he could create the perfect toy (eat your heart out, The Charlie Daniels Band). Here’s where it starts to get dicey. 

If I used dating apps, I’d probably swipe right on this person.

As his obsession consumes him, Martin’s family becomes a nuisance, down to the family dog and first victim, Banzo. Banzo is initially obedient to Martin, but the pooch ultimately betrays his maker. More on this later. 

Throughout the tapes, we come to learn that Martin has…. 

SPOILER ALERT. 

The next few lines will reveal the entire storyline of the series, so use this handy link to skip down past the spoilers. 

Last warning. 

…trapped all three of his children into toys, including his infant daughter. Martin orders Banzo to kill baby Ava. We, as the audience, are given the option to kill or not kill, but it’s revealed in season two that canonically, Banzo chooses not to kill Ava, leading to his own demise. I cried in THE_PERFECT_PET when Banzo (seemingly?) dies. I kid you not. Let’s get back to our other characters. 

He looks like a deranged Doodle Bear, and I honestly love him.

Martin’s other two children, Thomas and Macy, are trapped in Henry the Puppet Doll and Sofia the Singing Marionette. It’s absolutely horrific, and I’m not 100% sure on how the mechanics work. Tbh, I don’t really want to think about it. But, at least for now, Thomas and Macy seem to remain trapped. Unfortunately, Ava was spared by Banzo but trapped by Martin in a baby marionette that wears a mask to hide its face, which casually looks like several baby doll faces stitched together. 

It’s giving Sid from Toy Story in the worst way. 

Okay, but why were Sid’s brows on point though?

Now, if you’re thinking the story couldn’t possibly get any worse, there’s more. 

Martin also trapped his brother, Arthur, in a giant, ice cream mascot costume making him the Ice Cream Man. Believe me, I know how stupid that sounds, but this thing is HORRIFYING. Arthur’s entrapment also leads me to one of my favorite videos in the entire series so far, Go0dbye_My_L0ved_0ne5, wherein Arthur momentarily regains control of his body and records his final* thoughts. 

*We’ll come back to this. 

We’re initially led to believe he’s regaining control from Arthur, but it seems the devil has come to collect on his and Martin’s deal by using Arthur to kill Martin (it’s like Cain and Abel, but at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzaria). We’re not certain of Martin’s fate, as we only see Arthur rush towards him, so I don’t quite think we’ve seen the last of Martin Greywhinder. 

School picture day, but your soul is trapped inside a wooden doll.

Martin also manages to kill his and Arthur’s intern, his wife, Gloria, and several other children along the way. We find out a bit more about Martin’s other victims in Are_Y0u_HappY?. I’m not 100% sure if the special we see is the same special that is later mentioned in _Rebirth_, but Detective Stewart, the officer investigating Martin, mentions a “hacked broadcast” in this video that we can assume caused the deaths mentioned. 

We aren’t sure if the other children are also trapped in toys, but intern Amy Willson is presumed to be trapped in a Henry the Puppet Doll like Thomas. Amy met a particularly gruesome end, and if you didn’t think Martin was an unhinged psychopath before, you will when you discover how Amy was murdered. 

Gloria’s fate is particularly depressing. She was spared from being trapped in a toy, but after being murdered by Martin, she tries to save him throughout the entire series. You’ll notice a grotesque ghostie with an elongated face lurking in the background of several videos (it reminds me of The Nun from The Mandela Catalogue). In Ple4se_C0me_B4ck_T0_M3, it’s revealed this unwanted visitor is Gloria’s spirit, and she tearfully pleads with Martin to end his rampage. Sadly, Martin destroys the tape, either killing or permanently trapping Gloria in the tape and/or television.

Rory Culkin, is that you?

So yeah. This is all just season one. 

At the time of this writing, season two stands at three hefty videos: 

• H4PPY_N3W_FRIEND5!
• THE_PERFECT_PET 
• THE_MIRACLE_CHILD 

While there’s more Harmony & Horror to come, Battington has left us with some wild revelations to stew on. First and foremost, Arthur is ALIVE (see? I told you to put a pin in this). I’ll say things are a bit sus for me though because Arthur claims his face was mutilated in the Ice Cream Man costume, so he wears a plastic mask in public. Additionally, Arthur seemed to have brown eyes, but during his speech in THE_MIRACLE_CHILD, there’s a closeup of “Arthur’s” face wherein he has brown eyes while stating during his speech that he looks in the mirror but doesn’t recognize his own face. But, we also saw Arthur charging Martin, so there’s a possibility this isn’t Arthur but rather Martin. Only time, and Battington, will tell on this one. 

Secondly, Macy is still trapped in Sofia, and it’s clear she’s out for revenge (a Taylor Swift and Sofia collab would be iconic). She’s spotted on security footage entering a storage unit, and God only knows what lies inside. 

Thirdly, Amy may or may not still be alive inside of a Henry doll. I’m not totally sure if she was the Henry doll killed early on in season one, but we do get confirmation of her vessel through a handwritten note. 

Last, but certainly not least, we find out that Thomas is actually Arthur’s biological child, not Martin’s. It seems this news might have contributed to Martin’s full breakdown, as it results in Martin killing Gloria and the children. The tea is piping hot this season, y’all. 🍵

Do you have games on your phone?

I, for one, can’t wait to see where the story of Harmony & Horror goes next. I have so many questions regarding Martin’s deal with the devil, the children, and who’s survived the fallout. My only suggestion is to cut all the jump scares, my dude! I know it’s your trademark, but your narrative is strong enough to survive without them. 

Other than that, I think this series is really strong; we’re not spoon fed information, but you’re still able to follow along. I think we’re in for one hell of a story, and I can’t wait to see what comes next. I’d also love to give a shoutout to whoever runs the Harmony & Horror Wiki because you’re doing a bang up job. 

All that’s left is to turn off the lights, grab some popcorn, and hit play. And hope Martin Greywhinder doesn’t want to play with you next. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Aaron Martin’s series, Slasher, into the ol’ VCR. 

I watched Slasher on a whim and immediately binged the first two seasons. I waited eagerly for season three to hit Netflix, which I also devoured. Then, thanks be to the horror gods for swooping in and taking it to Shudder. The fourth season is truly *chef’s kiss*. 

Slasher is a horror anthology series; it’s essentially the Canadian version of American Horror Story, but better (I love you, Ryan Murphy, and I’ve watched every season, but you have some things to answer for. Here’s looking at you, Freak Show). Each season introduces a different serial killer, and like R Murph, many of the same cast members are recycled throughout the series. I’ll also give the Slasher crew major kudos because even when the script goes off the rails, you’ll remain glued to the screen. 

The other delightful part of Slasher is that SEVERAL cast members from Degrassi: The Next Generation pop up throughout, including Mr. Oleander (Chrisopher Jacot), Jane Vaughn (Paula Brancati), Alli (Melinda Shankar), and a cameo from THE QUEEN HERSELF, Paige Michalchuk (Lauren Collins). 

Never forget the slasher that started it all, Degrassi of the Dead (I know this is only the first part, but all four parts are available on the same channel I linked). I digress. 

Slasher is incredibly over the top and extremely gory, so those with weak stomachs, beware. I’d definitely give season four the honor of the most intense season thus far, but the first three seasons aren’t too terribly far behind. If you cast David Cronenberg as the patriarch of an unhinged, murderous family, you have to take it up to 11. I don’t make the rules. 

Slasher pairs well with Wreck and Scream: The TV Series (or Degrassi, if you’re feeling kooky). Our neighbors to the north really know how to make an anthology series. You could even say they’re willing to do…whatever it takes. 🥴

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some documentaries I’ve been watching into the ol’ VCR. 

As I mentioned in my limited series piece, I don’t take pleasure in tragedies. I also don’t condone the actions of many individuals in these documentaries. I a) love to learn and b) think documentaries often give voice to topics that need them. I wrote an entire disclaimer over in my limited series piece you can read that goes more in depth about my thoughts and feelings. 

Also, I know there are so many wonderful documentaries available to stream and/or purchase; these are just a few of the ones I enjoy. I personally have so many documentaries on my list to watch, so this piece is meant to be a springboard.

Finally, like with my limited series piece, there’s no way I can properly CW/TW all of these documentaries. I recommend Googling the content/the warnings and only watching what you’re comfortable with. 

• White Hot: The Rise and Fall of Abercrombie and Fitch (Netflix) 
• Abducted in Plain Site (Netflix) 
• Miss Americana (Netflix) 
• Girl in the Picture (Netflix) 
• Our Father (Netflix) 
• Why Did You Kill Me? (Netflix) 
• I Am Vanessa Guillen (Netflix) 
• American Murder: The Family Next Door (Netflix) 
• The Martha Mitchell Effect (Netflix) 
• Pamela, a love story (Netflix) 
• Call Me Miss Cleo (HBO Max)
• Money Shot: The Pornhub Story (Netflix) 

This piece is a little bit of a short one, but I feel like I said so much in my limited series piece, and I don’t want to get back on my soapbox (I’m uncoordinated, and I feel like I’d trip with the step up 🥁). Just watch these documentaries with the intention of learning. Are some of these people absolutely terrible? You bet. But remember to be respectful of the survivors and/or victims as well as their grieving families and loved ones. 

I’ll leave you all with some words of wisdom I was given early in life.  

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite horror reality shows of yesteryear into the ol’ VCR. 

This one is going to hit you right in the nostalgia. For those who don’t remember, or for the youths who somehow stumbled upon this, we went through a bizarrely wonderful time from the late 90s to the early aughts where we collectively decided to shift the focus of reality TV to the horror genre. And I’m so glad we did. 

Today, we’re talking Fear (I dare you to get Godsmack’s “Voodoo” out of your head now), Scaredy Camp, Scare Tactics (the original with Shannen Doherty, thank you), and Scariest Places on Earth. 

These little gems might not have stuck with anyone but me over the years, but I think of them fondly (she said, realizing she sounds like she’s sitting in a rocking chair thinking of an old lover). 

Me, realizing it’s been 20+ years since most of these shows were on the air.

Fear 

Fear walked so that Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej could run. Part reality competition, part ghost investigation, Fear placed six strangers in haunted locations. The main objective was to complete assignments, or “dares,” given via a computer (that was the size of my microwave and narrated by what sounds like an 80s sitcom dad) for the chance to win $3,000 each (with the second objective being to hopefully scare the shit out of these poor people). 

The challenges mostly consisted of spending 15+ minutes alone in dark and creepy af spaces with only a camera and walkie talkie; other challenges were batshit crazy and had them recreating alleged scenes or rituals to tease the spirits. Think Halloween: Resurrection sans Busta Rhymes. 

Unfortunately, Fear only lasted two seasons, and we only have 16 episodes to remember it by. The good news is, you can find all 16 episodes on YouTube for free in decent quality (remember, this was 2000-2002, and they didn’t have a camera crew with them). If you’re missing early 2000s reality TV, I promise Fear will hit the spot. 

Scaredy Camp 

Sitting at a whopping 10 episodes and 2 seasons, Scaredy Camp is forever stuck in my memory. Truth be told, Scaredy Camp is essentially Fear mixed with GUTS. Children (actual children, I’m serious) were taken to a haunted summer camp to investigate the “real” legend and casually help a spirit move on. I say “real” because I feel like it’s “real” convenient that they found two haunted summer camps, and I believe in ghosts. 

There’s something charming about Scaredy Camp. First and foremost, the children on this show do confessionals/team huddles, and they’re absolutely precious. Also, these children are far more athletic than I will ever be. If you’re looking for a way to simultaneously quench your thirst for Are You Afraid of the Dark? and reality TV but with children, Scaredy Camp awaits for free on YouTube. 

Scare Tactics 

Scare Tactics proves my theory that scaring the shit out of people for entertainment was en vogue in the early 2000s, right alongside low rise jeans and pageboy hats. Now, I know there have been other iterations of Scare Tactics, but I’m a purist, so I’m specifically referring to the episodes hosted by Shannen Doherty. 

Scare Tactics is like Punk’d but if Ashton Kutcher used cryptids, paranormal activity, aliens, and, in some cases, murder, to scare the absolute piss out of unsuspecting people. Not only were Shannen Doherty’s outfits INCREDIBLE, but I give their practical effect team major props. If you aren’t sure exactly what I’m talking about, I promise there’s a clip buried deep down in your brain of people being scared in an RV. 

Like its predecessors, episodes of Scare Tactics can be found for free on YouTube. For optimal viewing, I recommend ordering a pizza and/or your favorite takeout and popping it on after a rough workday. 

Scariest Places on Earth 

Last but certainly not least, we have Scariest Places on Earth. For those who aren’t well-versed, Linda Blair hosted, Zelda Rubinstein narrated, AND The Warrens (RIP) tagged along on numerous investigations. Similar to the other shows we’ve covered in this list, Scariest Places on Earth found families and friends investigating some of the most legitimately haunted places in the world. There are places on here I wouldn’t enter. Like THAT haunted. 

I also personally think that this show is the scariest entry on our list. CC: THE FREAKIN’ WARRENS WERE ON THIS SHOW. Yet, I know for certain that KP and I watched every single episode in all three seasons. 

Honorable Mention 

I’m not going to give Paranormal State the same treatment as the others on this list because it came later (2007), but I definitely want to give it a mention. I was OBSESSED with it in high school, and I used to record the episodes on weekends and watch them on Sundays with KP (we had a tradition of binging horror content on Sundays that you can read about over at Hyperreal). I know Ryan Buell has a sordid history, so please know this show is just a source of nostalgia for me, and I, in no way, condone any of his actions. 

A Bonus Paragraph! 

Okay, so, I was going to end this piece after the Honorable Mention section, but I feel weird leaving it on that note (y’know, the whole apology for what I found when Googling Ryan Buell), so y’all are getting a bonus paragraph. Reality horror shows are oh-so near and dear to my heart. They definitely influenced my love of horror, and I appreciate KP also appreciating horror. I know how fortunate I am to have had THE most supportive mother imaginable. This piece, along with everything I write, is for her. In her eulogy, I said, “For KP. For Always,” and that feels like the right way to end this bad boy. 

For KP. For Always.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weberm’s Daisy Jones & The Six into the ol’ VCR. 

Josie and the Pussycats. Stillwater. Bitch Cat. Boy howdy, do I love a good fake band. 

The first time Daisy Jones & The Six hit my radar was when I got my sister the book for her birthday. I was immediately taken by the premise, and I’d only heard good things about Taylor Jenkins Reid. Also, my sister had mentioned wanting this book right around her birthday and has never been subtle about her wish lists (I love you so much, but you know it’s true). 

Admittedly, I didn’t buy myself a copy of Daisy Jones & The Six until the series was halfway through its run, and it’s still sitting on my bookshelf, unopened. However, I’ve watched the entirety of the series, and I loved it. 

If you haven’t joined in on the pop culture phenom by now, here’s a little primer: Daisy Jones is a Stevie Knicks-esque spirit who joins The Six, a band in need of starpower. She and lead singer Billy Dunne find a sense of kinship in each other, which starts the beautiful and messy catalyst that will lead to the band’s undoing. The story fluctuates between a talking heads-style documentary and flashbacks, and the soundtrack is bitchin’, as it not only includes 60s and 70s hits, but all of the songs from Aurora, the band’s fictional album. 

The story within Daisy Jones & The Six is a familiar one, but it never gets boring. There will be twists and turns you see coming from a mile away, but the journey and the destination are equally worth your time. Riley Keough yet again reminds us of her acting chops, and I’ll watch any piece of media that puts her front and center. I also want to applaud Suki Waterhouse, along with all of the other strong female characters in the series. 

As much as I love the likes of Almost Famous and This is Spinal Tap, fake band media tends to be male-focused (one of the biggest exceptions being Josie and the Pussycats). Yet, Daisy Jones & The Six gives us a variety of imperfect, bold, and fully-formed female leads, including Camila Morrone’s Camila Dunne and Nabiyah Be’s Simone Jackson. I don’t mean to undercut all of the male leads, as they’re also immensely talented, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the female leads. 

The only flaw of Daisy Jones & The Six is in its ending. I confirmed the ending of the series is a bit different than the ending of the novel, and I can’t wait to see if things are handled a bit better. Without full spoilers, just know the show takes a page from the HIMYM playbook. If you know me at all, you know that series finale still irks me to this very day. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. 

Daisy Jones & The Six pairs best with The Last Waltz, Almost Famous, and The Get Down. If you enjoy a good fake band with a rich backstory like I do, you’ll really enjoy the show. But, if you decide to join a band and begin a years-long entanglement with another lead singer, don’t blame me. 

All episodes of Daisy Jones & The Six are now streaming on Amazon Prime.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my tween favorites into the ol’ VCR. 

Growing up, I had paper cuts on my fingers from flipping through the pages of so many teen magazines. I IDOLIZED the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Hilary Duff, and the Olsen Twins. KP would help me recreate looks from movies the best we could, including Padmé’s royal look from Phantom Menace. And no, I won’t be taking any further questions at this time. 

Bratz: Sean McNamara’s Bratz is a film adaptation of, well, the Bratz dolls. It came out in 2007, so my obsession came a little later, but I was only 15, so I’m counting it. I’m a Jade girlie, through and through. TBH, Janel Parrish is basically a human version of the Jade doll, and she’s the only actress who actually sings in the movie. Also, yes, I know this movie is absolutely cuckoo bananas and has a plot so thin you could use it to Saran wrap leftovers, but not every movie has to have a deeper meaning, y’all. Sometimes, you want to watch a movie where grown women provide the singing voices for actual teenagers. 

The Bratz movie is available to stream on Freevee. 

Freaky Friday: Mark Waters’ Freaky Friday should be a gimme. You have OSCAR AWARD WINNING ACTRESS, JAMIE LEE CURTIS. You have Bowling For Soup’s incredible cover of “…Baby One More Time,” as well as an all-around bangin’ soundtrack. Jamie Lee Curtis learned how to play guitar for one scene, for crying out loud. It’s a religion, it’s a lifestyle. 

Freaky Friday is now available to stream on Disney+. 

A Cinderella Story: Mark Rosman’s A Cinderella Story and I go waaaaayyyy back. Back to the beginning, you could say. 🥁I love this movie. My love for this movie runs so deep in fact that I once recited Hilary Duff’s famous “waiting for you” monologue in a breakroom at work and received applause. I turn to this movie when anything bad happens in my love life. 

A Cinderella Story is available to rent on VOD. 

What a Girl Wants: Dennie Gordon’s What a Girl Wants is a true gem. For some reason, we were obsessed with two big things in the early to mid-aughts: witness protection (cc: Our Lips Are Sealed and Get a Clue) and surprise royal lineage (cc: The Princess Diaries and What a Girl Wants). I have no idea why these were such hot plots, but by God, there were several movies made about both topics. 

What a Girl Wants is available to rent on VOD. 

Legally Blonde: Robert Luketic’s Legally Blonde is one of those movies that can pull me out of a funk. The montage where Elle starts studying really hard is *chef’s kiss,* and I’m 100% guilty of putting on “Watch Me Shine” by Joanna Pacitti when I need to get back on my bullshit. Also, Jennifer Coolidge is in two of these five movies, and there’s no way it’s a coincidence. 

Legally Blonde is now streaming on Tubi. 

I do want to give an honorable mention to Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. I’ve already written about it, so I won’t subject you to another round of praise for this movie. I think I was obsessed with these movies for several reasons. I loved their fashion and confidence and quirkiness. These characters were what I wanted to be at the time. 

However, as I’ve grown up, I realize I’ve become bold like Jade, genuine like Jamie Lee Curtis as Anna (I still want to be like her when I grow up), strong like Sam, confident like Daphne, and hardworking like Elle. I hope I’ve made baby Baillee proud. Or, at the very least, I hope she would secretly love me but pretend I embarrassed her in front of her friends.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Lee Cronin’s Evil Dead Rise into the ol’ VCR. 

CW/TW: Flashing lights and TONS of gore. 

I love the entire Evil Dead franchise (and just because of my massive crush on Bruce Campbell). And, it’s officially safe to say that Evil Dead Rise is a welcome addition to the family. 

Thanks to the likes of this film and Scream VI, I’ve become a convert of taking a franchise out of its motherland; it seems that Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan might be the exception and not the rule. 

Although Evil Dead Rise takes us away from the cabin in the woods to an apartment building in the city, it has familiar beats like Deadites performing professional gymnastic routines where their entire bodies crack like glow sticks. Keep your eyes (and ears) peeled for many a’ fun Easter egg along the way, with Henrietta’s Pizza being one of my personal favorites. Also, Evil Dead Rise has spawned one of my new favorite phrases of all time in “titty-sucking parasites.” 

When you accidentally make eye contact with your Favor runner. 

If you saw this bad boy at a Drafthouse, the pre show interview with director Lee Cronin includes a question about where he would rank the humor and tone of Evil Dead Rise compared to the other films. Cronin puts it somewhere between Evil Dead and Evil Dead II, and I fully agree. 

Evil Dead Rise doesn’t have the dark comedy and camp of Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness, but it definitely doesn’t skimp on the gore. In fact, I’d put it as one of the bloodiest in the entire franchise. 

In the spirit (lolz) of the Evil Dead series, I think the best way to finish out my thoughts on the film is in a handy-dandy list of bullet points: 

• Alyssa Sutherland is a fox. 
• Good for you, Bridget! You know you’re in a horror movie. The Boulet Brothers would be proud. 
• Oh wow, slay, Necronomicon! You got a glow up. 
• Staffany for Best Supporting Actress 2023. 
• Watch out, Toni. Alyssa’s coming for your Hereditary wall crawling and headbanging. 
• It’s an unspoken rule of thumb to never open the door for someone singing unsettling sea shanties and/or children’s lullabies. 
• I hope these aren’t the ghosts who Taylor Swift talks about visiting her in “Anti-Hero.”
• Is there a pasta pun I can make here?
• Blood-soaked Buick would’ve made a bitchin’ name for a Pop Punk band. 

My only criticism of Evil Dead Rise is that it’s unlocked a new fear of becoming a vessel for Deadites in an apartment building elevator. Fortunately, I live on the first floor. 

Me right before I school someone condescending on movie trivia. 

Similarly to Renfield, I’d recommend catching Evil Dead Rise in your local movie theater or drive-in. It’s just one of those flicks that reminds you of why visiting a movie theater is a magical experience. I was one of two people in the entire theater for this one, and it still ruled. It also wouldn’t be fair of me to mention that no one in this movie is safe. NO ONE. Prepare yourself accordingly. 

And remember, mother always knows best.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the true crime limited series I’ve been watching into the ol’ VCR. 

As Jane Lane would say, “reality’s bizarre enough for me.” I have that quote tattooed on my body, so you know I believe it. 

I don’t take joy in real-life gruesome events, but I think it’s important to learn from these people for safety and to help us try to avoid these things in the future. I don’t condone the actions, and I’m not here to determine anyone’s innocence, regardless of what I say when asked about true crime cases. 

I’m not going to beat around the bush  — some of the miniseries on this list are extremely hard to watch, especially The Deep End, The Vow, and Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence.

Others, like The Staircase and The Real Bling Ring, were adapted into insane series and movies. The former including a scene where Colin Firth eats Toni Collette’s ass (something I never thought I’d see) and the latter having both Lifetime (with THE Austin Butler aka Mr. Whoa Mama, himself) and Sofia Coppola directed films.

There are even ones like Night Stalker that inspired episodes of podcasts like Disgraceland (I’d recommend both the AC/DC episode and the After Party episode where Jake Brennan actually interviews Tiller Russell, one of the directors). 

There are heinous things lurking within some of these documentaries, and there’s no way I could even begin to CW/TW each of them. Please watch these with extreme discretion and take the content warning seriously. If you’re hesitant, I’d recommend not watching or Googling the content for more information and context. 

• Murdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal (Netflix)
• LuLaRich (Amazon Prime)
• Killer Sally (Netflix)
• The 12th Victim (Showtlme/Paramount+) 
• The Vow (HBO Max)
• The Way Down: God, Greed, and the Cult of Gwen Shamblin (HBO Max)
• Don’t F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer (Netflix)
• Worst Roommate Ever (Neflix) 
• Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist (Netflix)
• The Deep End (Hulu) 
• Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence (Hulu) 
• Sins of Our Mother (Netflix) 
• The Staircase (Netflix)
• The Real Bling Ring: Hollywood Heist (Netflix)
• I Just Killed My Dad (Netflix)
• Night Stalker (Netflix)
• Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitives. (Netflix) 
• Tiger King (season 1) and Tiger King: The Doc Antle Story (Netflix)
• The Tinder Swindler (Netflix)
• The Curse of Von Dutch: A Brand to Die For (Hulu)
• The Keepers (Netflix) 
• Still Missing Morgan (Hulu) 
• Pepsi, Where’s My Jet? (Netflix)

I’ll freely admit that the obsession around true crime is morbid, and I’m guilty of watching every true crime documentary and miniseries I can get my hands on. As I mentioned earlier, I think it’s about the intent. If you’re watching true crime materials for sick reasons, it taints the message. Also, when documentarians exploit the dead or those grieving their losses, it’s gross. 

However, I think a lot of these stories need to be told, and I think it’s important to understand why and how some of these things happened. I’m not belittling what anyone went through as a cautionary tale, and I never would. These victims deserve to be remembered and to have a platform, if they’re able. It’s extremely brave for survivors to share their experiences and to give a voice to victims who aren’t here to speak for themselves. 

While true crime documentaries and miniseries can be seen solely for entertainment value, don’t let yourself forget the “true” part of the genre. These are real stories. Real people were traumatized and harmed, and some of them didn’t survive. Educate yourself on how you can help those you love in abusive and/or dangerous situations. Learn how to keep yourself safe. If true crime has taught us anything, it’s that it’s easier to find yourself in high-risk situations than you think.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Ari Aster’s Beau is Afraid into the ol’ VCR. 

I’m a huge fan of Hereditary and Midsommar. Hell, I just ordered a Midsommar pin from A24 last week. That’s why, I’m so sorry to say, I hated Beau is Afraid. And you know what that means. It’s time for the infamous disclaimer: 

The great thing about movies is that we can discuss and debate them. Just because I think a movie is great doesn’t make it a good movie, and just because I think a movie is awful doesn’t make it a bad movie. Also, making a movie is extremely difficult and incredibly badass, and I don’t want to detract from the process.

With the formalities out of the way, let’s get into it. 

Joaquin Phoenix stars in a live action version of that one Chipotle commercial with the Kacey Musgraves cover of “Fix You” that always makes me cry. 

I feel like Beau is Afraid is one of those movies where someone will ask, “But did you get it?” when you say you didn’t like it. Believe me, I GET it. I more than understand the symbolism and the nuances. I fully comprehend that the movie is shot in a frenzied manner to mimic Beau’s mental health. Beau’s an unreliable narrator of sorts, and what we see/perceive may or may not be what’s actually happening. I get it. 

However, I feel as though Ari Aster was so desperately trying to avoid being pigeon-holed as a horror director that he overcorrected. It has all of the Ari Aster hits, including mommy monologues, face plants onto rocks, attic climaxes, and my personal favorite, lit house against dark background (I feel like Joe Bob Briggs rattling off the drive-in totals). Beau is Afraid has all of the same commentary on generational trauma, family dynamics, and mental illness we see in both of its predecessors. That begs the question, if the format isn’t broken, why fix it?

I respect Ari Aster’s decision to take some risks within Beau is Afraid, and honestly, some things work. For example, the animated and stop-motion parts throughout the film are beautiful and extremely impressive. I’d go so far to say that the forest scenes are the strongest in the film. 

Joaquin Phoenix wishing he was cast in Hereditary instead. 

I also want to say that all of the actors give INCREDIBLE performances. Joaquin Phoenix, Nathan Lane, Amy Ryan, Patti LuPone, Parker Posey, and everyone else involved did a wonderful job. The main issue with Beau is Afraid doesn’t lie in the performances, but in the content. 

I mentioned earlier that parts of the film are purposely shot to feel overwhelming and disorienting to parallel Beau’s mental state, which is great in theory. The problem is this leads to a lack of cohesion within the film itself. I would also argue that Ari Aster was heavily influenced by the likes of Michel Gondry, sans big hands. Once you see the movie, you’ll understand what I mean. 

It’s very rare that I don’t like an A24 movie, so I want to throw out a couple of other reasons I didn’t like Beau is Afraid out of context for fun: 

• Why did they ripoff Treehouse of Horror VII? 
• The penis monster looks like one of Jonah Hill’s dick doodles from Superbad by way of The Jim Henson Company. 
• I can never hear “Always Be My Baby” the same way. 

Pictured, another Ari Aster favorite: mothers screaming about their sons. 

So yeah. There you have it. 

I was disappointed by Beau is Afraid, but again, I applaud Ari Aster for taking risks and wanting to create something different. There are really beautiful pieces to the film, and the acting is superb. The problem is, ideas are jammed together like puzzle pieces that almost fit but don’t quite belong together. I think some editing, including a restructuring of the storyline, could really make this a great film. More specifically, I think the forest component of the film is so strong, the entire film could be focused on the play and be used as the driving force.

My feelings about Beau is Afraid aside, I’ll still be first at the box office to see anything Ari Aster directs.