B Movies Blog

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January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the ol’ B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Lynn Shelton’s Laggies into the VCR. 

Laggies hold a special place in my heart for two big reasons: 

1. It’s one of the first A24 movies I watched.
2. It always seems to find me when I need it. 

I first watched Laggies when I was a recent college grad who was working two jobs and had absolutely no idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I rented Laggies from a Redbox at the HEB I was working at on a whim. I’d seen the trailer, but I hadn’t read much about it. By the end of the movie, I was crying because I knew how Megan felt. Granted, I haven’t had the same friend group and boyfriend since high school, but I fully understood where Megan was coming from. 

I felt so untethered, and I was absolutely miserable. I was drinking a lot to “have fun,” but I was lying to myself and everyone around me. I did have some good times during my early to mid-20s, but I absolutely used alcohol as a crutch. It’s also one of the main reasons I don’t drink anymore. 

I had created this idea in my head that I was squandering my potential, and people were expecting so much more of me. I’d graduated at the top of my class in high school, and I’d been involved in Residence Life throughout college. Then, I graduated. Regardless of what your parents or loved ones tell you, nothing prepares you for life after college. For the first time in my life, there wasn’t a plan. College was the plan. 

I’ll be honest. It took me years to find my footing as an adult. But, there’s nothing wrong with my timeline. It might have taken years of drinking and working jobs I hated and having my heart broken numerous times to realize it’s okay. I eventually stopped drinking and found a good job. I cut out some people who didn’t have my best interests in mind. I become comfortable in my own skin. I started prioritizing my own mental health. I stopped being afraid to say no. 

That’s one of the most important takeaways in Laggies. You can release the past. You can put yourself first. You can make your trajectory. Your path might be full of curves and forks, or it might be a straight shot. As long as you’re happy, healthy, and not harming yourself or others, it’s okay to get a little lost. 

You also don’t have to live up to the expectations of others, and familiarity isn’t synonymous with happiness. It might take you befriending a group of high school kids and falling in love with one of their dads to get there (we can all agree that Sam Rockwell is a stone-cold fox), but you’ll get there. 

RIP Lynn Shelton, and thank you so much for directing a movie I find something new in with each watch. 

Laggies is now streaming on HBO Max. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back yet again to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Robbie Banfitch’s The Outwaters into the ol’ VCR. 

Before I begin, I feel the need to include one of my trademark disclaimers. If you’re new to my writing or new to the blog, here’s the spiel: 

The great thing about movies is that we can discuss and debate them. Just because I think a movie is great doesn’t make it a good movie, and just because I think a movie is awful doesn’t make it a bad movie. Also, making a movie is extremely difficult and incredibly badass, and I don’t want to detract from the process. 

This being said, I’m also here to give you all honest reviews. Again, this is my opinion, and I think you should watch movies and form your own thoughts. And yes, there are gonna be spoilers. 👀

The Outwaters caused quite a splash across social media with its guerilla marketing, from PR boxes with bloody handprints and crudely-written messages to trailers from each character’s perspective. I have to say as a marketing gal, it gets a big ol’ *chef’s kiss* from me. However, let’s get into the film itself. 

The Outwaters follows brothers Robbie and Scott as they drive out to the desert with their friend Ange to get some shots for up-and-coming singer Michelle’s album art. As you can probably guess, the group has weird experiences that eventually lead to, uh, being dragged into Hell or a Hell-adjacent dimension (think the flashing scenes of Hell from Event Horizon, but filmed in a dark warehouse with the only source of light being a flashlight from the local Dollar Tree). 

Image caption: I will say the price of batteries is a steal, though!

We take in the sights and sounds of Hell (I swear I’m not meaning to make it sound like a highly sought after tourist destination) through Robbie’s perspective. And, I say this lightly (except, it’s actually darkly) — we don’t really see anything. 

The Outwaters is more of an experience than a movie, and I think it might be better served as a short film or experience. We rarely see what Robbie is actually experiencing. Instead, we’re met with screams and groans and, in one case, nipple-rubbing. 

I know the first half of the film has been criticized for being a bit slow, but I don’t think the pacing is the issue; I don’t think there’s enough of a payoff. I fully understand the descent into Hell is meant to be disorienting and gnarly, but this is a case for show don’t tell. 

I also understand Robbie eviscerates and castrates himself in the final moments in an attempt to free himself from his nightmarish time loop, but, I feel like it’s inconsistent with the rest of the film. If the decision is to not show a good chunk of gore, I don’t think we should’ve seen Robbie’s injuries. Or, at the very least, I don’t think we should’ve seen the injuries in full detail. 

I know I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent, so for the sake of true movie reviewing, I want to delve into what I liked about The Outwaters. 

First and foremost, I think using three memory cards to represent the film’s three acts is extremely clever. 

Also, those horrid little snake creatures are absolutely terrifying — they’re like elongated versions of the slugs from Slither but with the tenacity of the Graboids from Tremors. I don’t know how the crew managed to create these revolting reptiles, but I’m so glad they did. 

Lastly, I loved one of the final shots in the film. The wide shot of Ange, Michelle, and Scott’s mutilated heads on pyres is impactful, not only because we can tell how much this trio endured, but because it reiterates Robbie is totally alone. 

Although I was let down by The Outwaters, I think it’s worth the watch. You can tell Robbie Banfitch poured so much love into this movie, and he’s definitely made his way onto my radar. I think The Outwaters didn’t work for me only because we’ve seen time loops before, and unfortunately, we’ve seen them done better. The Blair Witch Project. The Circle. Resolution. Just to name a few. 

And, that’s the danger of tackling a known horror genre. If you’re going to present a new offering, you have to be just as good, if not better than, your predecessors. I admire Robbie Banfitch’s moxie, though. Sometimes, you have to be willing to go to Hell and back for your art. Literally. 

The Outwaters is now streaming on Screambox.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Kyle Edward Ball’s Skinamarink into the ol’ VCR. 

Before I begin, I feel the need to include one of my trademark disclaimers. If you’re new to my writing or new to the blog, here’s the spiel: 

The great thing about movies is that we can discuss and debate them. Just because I think a movie is great doesn’t make it a good movie, and just because I think a movie is awful doesn’t make it a bad movie. Also, making a movie is extremely difficult and incredibly badass, and I don’t want to detract from the process. I also applaud the crew for making this movie on such a small budget. Seriously, it’s incredible 

Disclaimer aside, pretend all of your doors and windows have disappeared, and settle in for my review of Skinamarink. 

CW/TW: representation/allusion to child ab*s*, child harm/endangerment, su*c*d*

Oh Skinamarink, I was rooting so hard for you, and I think you have incredible potential. However, you were at least 45 minutes too long for me, and you relied on cheap jump scares when you didn’t need them. 

Let this also be a lesson in not underestimating your audience. The metaphors are there, and some scenes are masterfully done — there were even a handful that disturbed me, and I still think about them. However, we don’t need to be bombarded by abstract imagery and looped scenes to understand what’s happening In This House. 

Finally, and this is just a personal preference, but please add subtitles to all of the dialogue, not select pieces. I would probably be killed in the first few minutes of the movie because I would have to ask the sinister forces in the house to speak up because I couldn’t hear and/or understand them. 

Okay, all of the bad aside, let’s talk about what I really enjoyed from this movie and some of my theories. First and foremost, I’m not being hyperbolic when I say some scenes from this movie stuck with me. In particular, the scenes that made me crawl under my skin were: 

• The phone scene (not the jump scare, but the shadows) 
• The blood splatter scene 
• The Kaylee scene (IYKYK)
• And, last but not least, the whole knife scene 

These scenes are what kept me from hating this movie. They’re simple, yet impactful. Additionally, these scenes remind you that this film is from a child’s POV and take you back to your childhood nightmares. Remember the fear of not knowing what truly lies in the dark, or the shadows that common objects made at night. 

Remember not being able to comprehend what’s going on in the world around you, so you have to process events in terms you understand. It’s extremely powerful. On this note, I want to throw out my theories on what I believe Skinamarink represents. 

I know I put a CW/TW up top, but I want to give one more warning here. The metaphors, at least in my eyes, are very intense and could be triggering. Needless to say, I won’t blame you if you need to stop reading here. If so, jump ahead to the next section. 

I have two major theories for Skinamarink. The first is a bit more obvious than the other, so we’re going to go from plausible to “I watch a lot of true crime.” My first theory is the children are being abused, and it might even be at the hands of their own mother. Kaylee doesn’t want to talk about her mother when Kevin brings her up, and the entity presents itself to Kaylee as her mother when it calls her upstairs. I believe the guilt and/or the parents’ imminent divorce has also lead the childrens’ mother to commit or attempt suicide. This is why her discussion with Kaylee is cut off midway through. 

I know this is extremely heavy, so I’m going to take a beat. And again, I won’t blame you if you need to skip down.

Okay, here’s my second theory: I believe the children were abducted from their home and are being abused and tortured by a kidnapper. To avoid any confusion, this is the “I watch a lot of true crime” theory. The doors and windows disappear because Kaylee and Kevin are being held in a dark space, which also accounts for the feelings of perpetual darkness; it even explains the toilet disappearing and being replaced by buckets. Kevin also asks the entity for its name at the end of the film. 

The childrens’ parents are killed, and this is why Kaylee’s asked to look under the bed; they don’t want her to see their deaths. The presence later tells Kevin that Kaylee asked for her Mom and Dad, so it punished her. I buy into this theory more than my first theory, and I even thought we would be looking at crime scene photos when photographs initially began to flash across the screen. 

If you don’t want to commit to the full movie, Wendigoon does a really good analysis video over on his YouTube channel that I’d recommend. I don’t agree with his theories, but I think they might be right. Plus, Kyle Edward Ball made a short film called Heck, and it’s basically Skinamarink lite. I think it’s truly marvelous. 

I want to give Skinamarink kudos. For an experimental horror movie to have the theatrical run it did is unheard of, and I’m so glad horror movies like this, Terrifier 2, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, etc.. are having theatrical success. I think it’s remarkable, and Skinamarink’s divisive nature shouldn’t undermine its positive impact. Although I wasn’t the biggest fan, I’ll definitely check out Kyle Edward Ball’s work in the future. 

Unless the Fisher Price phone comes for me first. 

Skinamarink is now streaming on Shudder.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the ol’ B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Sara Sugarman’s Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen into the VCR. 

Words cannot fully express the grip Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen had over me. I still have my copy of the book my mother went to the mall* and bought for me after the movie came out. Lola Stepp understood my soul when I felt like no one outside of my mom (herein referred to as KP) did. 

*I use this term lightly, as my hometown’s mall had no more than seven functioning stores at a time while I was alive. 

Now, I had friends. Hell, I’ve had the best friend for over 20 years, and a few of my other best friends are friends from childhood/people I grew up with. This includes the very friend who is editing my piece currently (Hey, El!). However, I never felt like I belonged in my hometown. Not in the wistfully looking out the window, listening to “Come Clean” teenage angst. I just felt like I could never fully be myself.

If you grew up with me, I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I know I wore a lot of bold clothing and said some of what was on my mind, but I didn’t fully come into my own for a long time. I needed to leave to fully become myself. 

I think I idolized Lola because she was herself, even when she lied. She wore what she wanted. She did what she wanted. She was what I wanted to be. My mom made a bunch of my clothes and accessories, and thrifted others, and looking back, I had the COOLEST stuff. I still mourn the vintage leather jacket and Souxie and the Banshees roadie tee I let get away because a kid teased me about them. 

I realize now people were a) jealous and b) didn’t understand because they didn’t have a fully formed scope of the world. A lot of people in my hometown hadn’t traveled very far or lived away from where they grew up. People thought my clothing was weird because they hadn’t seen it before, when in fact, I was actually so stylish and so ahead of my time. 

I also realize I had some toxic friends who were basically Jennifer Check clones from Jennifer’s Body (Carla Santini walked so Jennifer Check could run). It wasn’t until I moved and got older that I realized they were just trying to figure out life like I was, and we were all insecure, but acted on it in different ways. 

As an adult, I still channel Lola Stepp. I wear what I think is cool or what I like, and I try not to worry about what others think of me — it’s hard being both a Drama Queen and Anxiety Queen, but I’m doing my best. I also try to help teenage Baillee do all of the things she never could growing up. I’ve taken us on adventures, I’ve gotten us tattoos, I’ve shared our writing publicly instead of keeping it in notebooks in our bedroom. 

I try to give the girl looking up at the J14 and Tiger Beat posters on her ceiling, listening to the likes of Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance on her Zune the life she dreamed of. Because she was a Lola, even if some of those around her (outside of KP) didn’t see it. 

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is now streaming on Disney+.

Hello, my dear Movie Mavens, and welcome back to the B Movies Blog! We’re going to deviate a little bit from our standard review today and get a little personal. For those who don’t know, my mother, KP, passed away after a two year battle with cancer, and this July will be the first anniversary. 

I know July feels ages away, but somehow, we’re already into March, and it seems like 2023 started three days ago. Time flies when the world is in chaos, I suppose. But, I digress. 

There are so many things about losing a parent you’re not prepared for, even if you’re a few weeks away from 30 when it happens. One that truly caught me off-guard is how integral the dead/dying mother trope is in the film industry. 

No, really. Think about it. Hope Floats. Stepmom. The Holiday. The Family Stone. Even freakin’ Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! 

Sometimes, the mother dies to help our teenage protagonist break out of their shell. Other times, it provides the father an opportunity to find love again. For some reason, we love dead or dying moms. Especially moms that died or are dying of cancer. My big question is why?

Why is it such an easy plot device? Why do I continue to watch all of these movies and weirdly find comfort in them? I think I answered my own question. 

As insane as it sounds, I think I find comfort in seeing something I’ve been through up on the silver screen. I understand how the Stone children feel when they find out this is more than likely Sybil’s last Christmas. When Jackie Harrison gives her children their sentimental Christmas gifts, I know how Anna and Ben feel. KP even told me she would be peek in on my future life events like Donna does for Sophie. It’s devastating, and yet, I’ve revisited all of these movies since my mom died. 

Do I bawl through all of them? Yes. Do I have to occasionally take a break? Absolutely. However, there’s something cathartic in this ritual — it’s like I’m connecting with my mother. 

Movies have always been a major part of my life; KP made sure of that. There were movies we watched during certain times of the year, i.e., Sixteen Candles during my birthday week, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark and The Halloween Tree as the Halloween season began, etc… Needless to say, movie nights and weekend marathons were commonplace. 

Whether dead moms are used to be relatable or to make a quick buck, this trope helps me grieve. These movies help me cry when I need to and articulate the feelings I often can’t. I mean, hell, look at this entire blog post I managed to write. 

KP, I miss you so much, but I feel you when I pop in a DVD or press play on my Roku. I’m reminded of movie nights filled with popcorn and laughter where we’re snuggled up on the couch with blankets and pillows piled on top of us. I feel you tapping the tissue box against my arm when I start crying. I can even hear your giggling after you’ve grabbed my leg or arm during a jump scare and made me jump. 

For fear of this blog becoming a dead mom blog trope, I’ll end things here. The reason Hollywood uses dead and dying moms to sell a movie probably isn’t philanthropic, but for 90+ minutes, it reminds me of my mom, be it good or bad. 

It also reminds me of why a father vows to never celebrate Christmas again until he finds a second wife. But that’s way less helpful.

For KP. For always.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the ol’ B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Rhys Frake-Waterfield’s Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey into the VCR. 

If you had told me a horror movie based on E.E. Cummings’ Winnie the Pooh would be one of the best theater experiences I’ve had in a hot minute, I more than likely would’ve believed you. I mean, it’s very on brand 🤷

Y’all, I loved this movie. It’s so high camp and so purposely ridiculous (at least I hope it’s purposely). My friend and I laughed out loud with the other handful of people in the theater, and I feel like we all came out better people because of it. 

Alrighty, let’s get into childhood-ruining chaos that is Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. 

As the film begins, we learn Christopher Robin stumbled into the 100 Acre Wood (aka 100 Aker Wood) as a child and discovers a group of human/animal hybrids, aka our beloved characters. As time passes, Christopher Robin brings the characters food, but eventually abandons the creatures to head off to college. 

With their entire food source deplenished, Pooh and friends, uh, vote to eat Eeyore and vow their revenge on mankind (don’t worry, this part is done in badass little drawings, and they spare us the corpse of Eeyore). 

Years later, Christopher Robin returns to the 100 Acre Woods with his fiance to find that Pooh and Piglet have both gone feral. The dynamic duo chases the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Robin through the camp, and Piglet brutally slaughters the missus. Christopher Robin is then captured by Pooh, where he will be tied up and flogged with Eeyore’s tail later. Yes, you read that correctly. No, it’s not a sentence I’d ever think I’d write. 

We then cut to the gaggle of girls who will serve as our main cast throughout the rest of the film. Our final girl*, Alice, is working through the trauma of not only being stalked, but awaking to her stalker having made his way into her bedroom and caressing her shoulder. In an attempt to overcome her issues, her group of gal pals rents an AirBnB…that just so happens to be near the 100 Acre Woods. 

Needless to say, it doesn’t go well. 

Now, I don’t want to ruin the experience of this truly wild film for you. Instead of breaking down my thoughts into individual points and paragraphs, I’d like to share a list of the actual thoughts I had throughout the movie, with zero context and in no particular order. Think of it like MST3K without a movie in the background.

Okay, here we go: 

• Why does Piglet walk like he has a constant erection?
• Oh god, I just remembered the very real episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation where Spinner gets a boner in class. 
• Secondly, why does Piglet always squeal like he’s climaxing? E.E. Cumming, if you will. 
• Does that girl’s tattoo really say “demigod?”
• This girl is the kind of girl who would tell everyone she got Cassie rising on a Buzzfeed quiz called “Which Euphoria character represents your astrological sign?” but would actually get Lexi rising. 
• How did Christopher Robin become a doctor in like five years?
• That girl’s face looks like mystery meat. 
• “Lick that honey from a pot, that’s a wet ass Pooh bear.”
• I guess Pooh went to the Michael Myers’ school of driving. 
• Why is that girl swimming in a pool that Piglet can stand up in?
• I wish a tumbleweed would roll between Piglet and this woman. 
• Why did Alice grab a musket like she’s Colonel Mustard?
• Is Pooh about to go angrily dance through a golf course with Zac Efron, or smoke and do gymnastics through a warehouse like Kevin Bacon?
• Why is Pooh wearing dishwashing gloves like he’s auditioning to be Mom from Dexter’s Lab?
• This is directly from Halloween: H20.  
• This is like if the kids from A Clockwork Orange were 30-40 years older and loved CCR. 
• Maybe that’s how Pooh lost his pants and got a crop top. 
• Please God let his only line in this movie be, “Oh, bother.” 
• Did Winnie the Pooh just backhand that girl several times?

So…yeah. 

If the real list of things I jotted down in the bathroom at the movie theater doesn’t make you want to see this movie, nothing will. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey will be best enjoyed with a group of friends who grew up on SyFy originals, or have a good sense of humor about things, especially in the horror space. 

Also, Rhys Frake-Waterfield, if you’re reading this, I have two requests: 

1. Please change the title of the next film to Winnie the Two. It’s right there, man. 
2. Please throw Tigger into the mix.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the ol’ B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping M. Night Shyamalan’s Knock at the Cabin into the VCR. 

Before I begin (to tear this movie apart), I feel the need to include one of my trademark disclaimers. If you’re new to my writing or new to the blog, here’s the spiel: 

The great thing about movies is that we can discuss and debate them. Just because I think a movie is great doesn’t make it a good movie, and just because I think a movie is awful doesn’t make it a bad movie. Also, making a movie is extremely difficult and incredibly badass, and I don’t want to detract from the process. 

That being said, let’s jump into Knock at the Cabin. 

It takes a lot for me to walk out of the movie theater irritated, but unfortunately, this was the case with Shyamalan’s latest. 

Pictured – me, as I wished Jonathan Groff would carry me away from this movie. 

There are very few hills I’m willing to die on, but I’ll give you one: Sir David Bautista carried this movie (sometimes literally). Truly. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve made it through the entire movie without him. 

I also believe this adaptation would’ve been a lot stronger as a play. I think using a rotating stage and theatrical effects would’ve been brilliant and more effective. You have Jonathan Groff, a known thespian, for crying out loud. USE HIM IN HIS ELEMENT. 

Additionally, the pacing of this film is truly wild. For the majority of the film, the characters speak with the same cadence of Lorelai Gilmore at Luke’s Diner…for no reason. I understand Shyamalan is trying to establish a sense of urgency, but it’s distracting. 

My last big piece of beef with Knock at the Cabin is the lack of payoff. There are several throw-away lines throughout the movie that could’ve really turned the tide for me. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but pay attention to what each visitor says when they introduce themselves, and see if you come to the same conclusion I did. Then, wait for another hour and watch as nothing ever comes back. 

Sigh. 

Let’s go back to Dave Bautista. I’ll say this: Shyamalan really lets him shine. I recommend watching the movie to watch Bautista show off his chops and remind us he’s more than Drax. 

I know I really dragged this movie, but it’s not like it’s the end of the world.

Or is it?

Knock at the Cabin is now streaming on Peacock.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Brandon Cronenberg’s Infinity Pool into the ol’ VCR. 

**Warning: there are some spoilers for the sake of jokes ahead!**

“If you were (are) a pop punk princess like me, you’re familiar with the Fall Out Boy song ‘Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year.’ Fortunately for Brandon Cronenberg, Infinity Pool is a case of the latter” is how I would’ve started this piece, if I hadn’t forgotten this was actually Brandon Cronenberg’s third movie. Whoops. Instead, I’ll say this: three IS the magic number. At least for Brandon Cronenberg. 

I’m not exactly sure how to CW/TW this movie, but I will mention there is a graphic scene of a hit and run, there are flashing lights that could trigger photosensitive viewers, and there are sexually explicit and extremely gory scenes throughout the entire movie. 

I’m going to start with what I didn’t like about Infinity Pool. First and foremost, I’m super pissed at how clear Alexander Skarsgård’s pores are. It’s simply not fair. Secondly, I’m jealous that Mia Goth got to walk Alexander Skarsgård down the red carpet on a leash. True Blood contributed to my sexual awakening, and I have a new item on my bucket list. Outside of these two items, I actually really enjoyed Infinity Pool. 

Please ignore the dims in the bottom right corner. I was scared to use my regular photo cropping source because it’s tied to work email.

Outside of adding another entry to my favorite new genre of Mia Goth screaming and/or crying directly into a camera, Infinity Pool shows us the dangers of a literal tourist trip. It raises the dangerous question of what you would do in a world without consequences. 

Think about it. What would you do if you knew you could commit any crime you wanted, and all you would have to do was pay to have a clone of yourself killed? The follow-up question being one actually posed in the film: If you’re being cloned, how do you know you’re the real you? Is not knowing a fate worse than death?

These are some big existential questions from a movie where you watch cum hit rocks, but you can’t help but think about the answers long after the credits roll. 

Parts of this film are like watching Eyes Wide Shut through a kaleidoscope while others remind you who Brandon Cronenberg’s father is. I also think Brandon Cronenberg is brilliant because the hottest parts of the movie aren’t the sex scenes.

The most sensual and salacious scenes are the simple close up shots of Mia Goth’s eyes and mouth as she talks to Alexander Skarsgård’s. The tension is much more palpable here than when she casually jerks him off in the woods or, *checks notes*, breastfeeds him at the end of the film. 

“That’s my boy!”

– David Cronenberg, probably. 

It goes without saying, but Infinity Pool definitely isn’t for everyone. It doesn’t shy away from gore or sex or intensity. However, it’s visually fascinating, poses some interesting moral questions, and makes The White Lotus look like Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. 

Most importantly, it reminds us of Mia Goth’s real voice.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the ol’ B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Gerard Johnstone’s M3GAN into the VCR. 

If you’re like me, when images of M3GAN first started popping up online, you thought, What in the name of the Olsen twins/Ashley Benson is this? We’ve been seeing high camp out of James Wan/Atomic Monster for a while now (cc: Malignant), and M3GAN doesn’t disappoint. 

M3GAN shows us exactly why she belongs with other horror villains we adore while also establishing her presence as a gay icon. Literally slay, queen. 

M3GAN brings back memories of watching the likes of Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Small Soldiers on VHS. I’d sit way too close to a TV that weighed around 300 pounds and soak in every punch, kick, and orchestral swell. And, I believe that’s the entire point. 

M3GAN blends the action and evil robot tropes of the 80s and 90s with a satirical view towards toys my generation grew up with, like Furbies. M3GAN is essentially the Teddy Ruxpin from Hell. Allison Williams’ character, Gemma, is reminiscent of my 30+ community. She works in tech, doesn’t know if she wants children, and is overly protective of sentimental toys from childhood (I still have my HitClips, so I get it). Plus, the guerilla marketing for this movie was absolutely incredible. 

M3GAN is the perfect beer (or in my case, soda) and pizza movie. It’s fun, nostalgic, and you won’t be bored. The only thing I can’t condone is the killing of the dog, which I don’t even think counts as a spoiler because it’s obvious what’s going to happen in the first 10 minutes. Other than unnecessary doggie demise, I recommend watching M3GAN ASAP. Just know if her robotic super strength doesn’t kill you, her reads will. 💅

Both the rated and unrated versions of M3GAN are now streaming on Peacock. 

Hello, dear readers! I wanted to give you a quick introduction to the site before I start regularly posting content. My name is Baillee, and well, I love movies. My love affair started many moons ago when I was kid. I had a lot of health problems, and my mom would always let me pick out a VHS from the local Big Lots, Dollar General, etc… after my doctor’s appointments. (It also doesn’t hurt that my family is full of pop culture fiends).

Since then, movies have been a source of comfort for me. They help me channel emotions and work through things in my life in a way that only writing can. That’s why I write about movies. It combines two things I’m passionate about into one, big source of comfort.

Don’t let the title of this blog mislead you, though. We’re going to talk about everything from new releases to some of my favorites to the Bratz movie. And yes, I’m serious. I hope reading and watching these movies brings you the same feelings it does for me. I hope you’ll laugh and cry and cringe with me.

– B, creator of the B Movies Blog