B Movies Blog

Note: Check back for updates as new content is announced!

January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the work of Clea Duvall into the ol’ VCR. 

Listen. I’m a queer woman who grew up closeted in a small, conservative Texas town. 

Of course I love Clea DuVall. 

Clea DuVall has not only been in some of the most iconic movies of all time, she’s also starred in them. Also, lest we forget, she brought us the instant gay holiday classic, Happiest Season, and the adaptation of Tegan and Sara’s memoir, High School. 

She was one of my earliest crushes, and I know I’m not alone in that. 

Over the years, Clea DuVall has become a multi-hyphenate by acting, producing, directing, you name it. And, over the years, my crush on her has remained constant. 

Clea, thank you for bringing some of my favorite characters to life. 

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite Clea DuVall movies and shows, be it those she acted in or directed. 

Graham and Megan are another dream couple’s costume for me

But I’m a Cheerleader: Not to date myself, but I watched this movie on Logo, which we had through a Charter Communications digital cable box. 

The Faculty: I think some of my teachers were pod people, too. 

Happiest Season: Don we now our gay apparel. 

Girl, Interrupted: I loved this book so much as a teenager that I kept it in my backpack until it fell apart. 

Stokely is the personification of Avril Lavigne’s Let Go 

Zodiac: I Am Not Paul Avery, but I am a huge Clea DuVall fan. 

Little Witches: I thought I made this movie up for a long time. 

High School: Watching this in my Southern Baptist grandmother’s house with the door shut is definitely a metaphor for something. 

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer – “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”: For pennies a day, you can support teenagers that are phased out of visibility. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Slenderman content into the ol’ VCR. 

CW/TW: gun violence, su*c*d*, su*c*d*l ideation, drug use, stabbing, child death, loud noises, flashing lights, dark subject matter, and all like subjects 

Before we dive into this piece, I have a responsibility to address a few things up top. 

First and foremost, I know the idea of Slenderman led to an absolute tragedy. If you aren’t familiar with the case, there’s a documentary that covers the details, and you can find information about it online. All of those involved were minors, so I’m not going to get into the details here. 

I understand there is a dark side to all of this content, so if you plan to watch or rewatch any of the series mentioned here, I would recommend looking into them before beginning. 

Secondly, I don’t condone the actions of the creator of TribeTwelve. I know there was some stuff within the crew from Marble Hornets as well. I also know that the Trials from EMH are also controversial. It’s awful that there are so many terrible things within this space, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention them. 

Thirdly, some of this content is a little rough around the edges because it was made by teenaged/college-aged peeps in the late aughts and into the early 2010s. Keep that in mind while watching because I think (and would hope) they would do some things differently. 

Lastly, like with other pieces, I’ll link videos, but I’m not going to include pictures with funny captions because it doesn’t feel appropriate. 

Alrighty, I think that does it for our disclaimers. Let’s get into it. 

Slenderman…used to freak me out. I’ll be honest. 

The idea of being followed is something that doesn’t scare me, per se, but it’s something that lives in the back of my anxiety-riddled mind.

I’m also a woman, so, fair. 

That’s why I was so late to the Slenderverse (and yes, I hated writing that as much as I’m sure you hated reading it). 

However, a few years ago, I finally buckled down and watched all of Marble Hornets, TribeTwelve, and my personal favorite, EverymanHYBRID. 

Video Source: EverymanHYBRID

In grand Baillee tradition, I also spent DAYS watching commentary videos from the Night Mind channel rewatching these series. I’m sure no one is surprised. 

For those who aren’t familiar, Slenderman is an entity originating from the internet back in the late aughts. He’s usually depicted as an abnormally thin and tall faceless creature wearing a black suit, white dress shirt, and tie, with gangly limbs. He also sometimes has visible tentacles, while, other times, they’re merely alluded to. 

Slenderman causes those in his presence to suffer from memory loss, dizziness, disorientation, coughing, etc…He can also influence people, primarily children and young adults, to do terrible things. We’re gonna leave it there. 

After Slenderman arrived on the scene, there was a multitude of content created around and expanding upon his lore. 

These include the aforementioned big three: Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and TribeTwelve. 

Video Source: Marble Hornets

All three series may keep parts of the Slenderman lore the same, but I think they each have their own distinct feel. 

For example, Marble Hornets feels the most cinematic to me; it’s like watching a movie in installments. 

EverymanHYBRID feels more episodic and almost play-like. Additionally, the EMH crew went all in on making things interactive (which also had its downside). 

TribeTwelve includes these incredible animations that remind me of FAITH: The Unholy Trinity. 

Video Source: TribeTwelve

While some things don’t hold up, the talent of these creators is apparent throughout. 

These series went on for YEARS and had to be carefully planned and executed so that everything would make sense and wrap up. It’s so impressive. 

Also, these series play off each other. There are direct connections between EMH and TribeTwelve. In fact, Noah from TribeTwelve and the EMH crew appear in each other’s videos, and their lore intertwines. I also think Alex from Marble Hornets makes an appearance in a video where Noah from TribeTwelve is meeting with Habit from EMH. It’s wild. 

Video Source: TribeTwelve

As a writer and content creator (gag), I know how hard it is to make content, and B Movies isn’t nearly as intricate as these series were. There were so many moving parts, so they get mad props from me for making all of this content. 

Now, let’s touch on some of the bad. Is this content extremely dark and violent? Yes. Do I think children should be watching it? Absolutely not. I’m a 31-year-old adult, and I took breaks in-between my research. It’s also not the first time a series has made me take a break. 

I also think these are a little rough around the edges. There are some things that really didn’t age well/some language used that didn’t need to be. We don’t need evil characters to say offensive things to show how evil they are, and some of the subject matter could’ve been cut. 

All of these series also reminded me how much I hate the loud, jarring noises of Slenderman content. I digress. 

Slenderman content is unique in that there’s so much lore to lay as the foundation, but you aren’t bound to it; the myth is up to interpretation. 

Slenderman also plays off of the primal human fear of being followed, and, honestly, being hunted. It’s also terrifying because it personifies having your identity stripped away through memory loss, possession, etc… 

I do think these series, particularly EverymanHYBRID and Marble Hornets, do deserve a watch, but I think you should proceed with caution. If anything becomes triggering or upsetting, don’t be afraid to turn it off. It’s a lot to take in, so no one will blame you for avoiding it. 

Hell, there are horror scenes that still bother me to this very day, and I watch horror content on the daily. 

Another thing to keep in mind is that some of the videos for these channels may be edited or unavailable. For those who aren’t in their 30s, you used to be able to post videos with copyright music without consequence. 

That is, absolutely, not the case any more. 

You can find some of this footage in the Night Mind analysis videos, though. 

Alrighty, friends, I think I’m going to leave our journey into the Slenderverse here. 

I’m not going to tell you to definitely check these out, because I think this content can be triggering. 

If you’re interested, I would start by Googling the synopsis, having a trusted person watch some of it first to get their opinion, maybe watching some of the analysis videos and muting/looking away during the footage, etc… 

If you need to skip this content, it’s okay! 

I’m only a silly goose writing about pop culture on the internet, and, sometimes, that involves writing about triggering content. 

I love you either way. 🖤

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping StarKid’s Hatchetfield series into the ol’ VCR. 

If you follow us on Instagram (shameless plug) or are subscribed to us on YouTube (shameless plug 2: judgment day), you’ll know that I recently watched Nerdy Prudes Must Die. 

I’m a big Smosh fan, so it had been on my radar for a hot minute. I finally sat down to watch it a few weeks ago, and I instantly fell in love. 

Nerdy Prudes Must Die is hysterical, raunchy, creepy, and incredibly well-performed. You’ll be singing songs like “Dirty Girl” and “Bully the Bully” for days, if not weeks, after watching. 

After being blown away by NPMD, I started pursuing StarKid’s YouTube channel and uncovered something incredible — they’ve created an entire universe akin to Sunnydale or Gravity Falls called the Hatchetfield series. 

Video Source: Team StarKid

Hatchetfield serves as a hub for paranormal happenings ranging from Eldritch horrors to alien parasites. There are countless Easter eggs throughout the series, and you know I love a good Easter egg. Additionally, there are some recurring characters, so keep your eyes peeled. 👀

The Hatchefield series began back in 2018 with The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, wherein the title character, Paul Matthews, must band together with his coworker friends and barista crush to battle alien parasites that murder the citizens of Hatchetfield and turn them into singing and dancing hosts. 

I might be reading way too much into this, but, IMO, I think this is a brilliant way to set up why the Hatchetfield universe is comprised of musicals. Think about it. Everyone is singing and dancing because of a hostile alien takeover? Sign me up! 

Video Source: Team StarKid

Next up in the Hatchetfield universe, we have Black Friday. Black Friday not only serves as a tongue-in-cheek look at the Tickle Me Elmo craze from ‘96*, but introduces an Eldritch horror to the town of Hatchetfield that turns consumer-obsessed adults into murderous shoppers all in the name of their new “God,” Wiggly. 

*KP actually found herself in the middle of the Tickle Me Elmo chaos and casually clotheslined a woman to get me one. In her defense, the woman tried to hit KP over the head with her purse. 

Video Source: Team StarKid

After Black Friday comes Nightmare Time and Nightmare Time 2. These stories each present a different cryptid or paranormal occurrence/entity that resides within Hatchetfield. I’m still making my way through these episodes, but I can confirm the ones I’ve seen are delightful. 

And finally, we have Nerdy Prudes Must Die. I love all of the Hatchetfield series, but I would be lying if I said NPMD wasn’t my favorite; it’s just next level. I know it might sound like I’m biased, but I think one of Angela’s best performances ever is in Black Friday, so do with that what you will. 

If you’re a fan of horror musicals, I can’t recommend this one enough. One thing to keep in mind is that most of these musicals are on the raunchy side, with NPMD probably being the raunchiest. 

HOWEVER, you obviously don’t see anything, and everything is implied/done off-screen. I only mention this because I know some peeps might want to watch these with their teens or have kids to be conscious of. Just know there’s a lot of language, sexual dialogue, etc… 

 I digress. 

I know A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel were huge when I was in college, but I’ve never been the biggest Harry Potter fan, so I watched them a couple of times with friends. Outside of that, I never revisited them (P.S. Here’s your daily reminder that J.K. Rowling is absolute trash). 

But, I can 100% get on board with StarKid’s Hatchetfield series. In fact, I already am. I really hope we get another entry from this universe soon, and I’m happy I still have Nightmare Time content to watch. 

Please watch and support StarKid’s content because it’s truly great. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment over at the old Waylon place. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping another edition of Lights, Camera, Albums into the ol’ VCR. 

Now, I feel like I need to give some disclaimers about this one up top. 

When I was listening to Plastic Hearts for research, there were two recurring themes I kept noticing: addiction and an almost vampiric sensuality. 

The nocturnal feel of this album just radiates supernatural creatures for me, particularly the sensuality often associated with vampires. 

On the other hand, I see a lot of references and allusions to addiction, even if it’s just addiction to a person or situation. 

I need you to suspend your beliefs for this LCA. We all know our girl Miley tends to write hypersexual lyrics. However, I need you to take out the sexual components for some of these pairings and focus more so on the state of mind. 

I don’t feel like there’s much more I can say to explain myself, but I hope you’re picking up what I’m laying down. Just trust the process. 

If this is your first Lights, Camera, Albums, we’re happy to have you! As a little primer, this is a series where I take the tracklist of the album du jour and pair each song with a movie. We’ve covered everyone from Chappell Roan to Fall Out Boy, and I would absolutely check out the other editions in this series. 

The last thing I want to mention is that I feel weird adding pictures with funny captions in this one because several of these movies and/or the scenes mentioned are heavy. 

Without further ado, I present to you Lights, Camera, Albums: Miley Cyrus’s Plastic Hearts. 

“WTF Do I Know” as Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen 

“Cause I couldn’t be somebody’s hero

You want an apology? Not from me” 

I 100% see “WTF Do I Know” coming from Stu Wolf’s (Adam Garcia) perspective in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Lola (Lindsay Lohan) worships Stu, but when she finally meets him, Lola sees that he isn’t the man she’s conjured up in her mind. Stu is in the throes of addiction and is, to put it bluntly, an egotistical asshole. I think Stu could sing this to Lola and Ella (Alison Pill) in the diner right before Lola tells him off. 

“Plastic Hearts” as Get Him to the Greek 

I want to give a disclaimer about this pairing up top. I do really enjoy this movie, but there are, unfortunately, a cavalcade of shitty men in it. Just keep that in mind if you’re watching this movie. I digress. 

It’s clear that Aldous Snow (Russell Brand, unfortunately) is so desperate for connection. He’s deeply unhappy with his life and tries to fill the void with all of his vices. Aaron (Jonah Hill, unfortunately) is almost like Aldous’s glimpse into a normal life outside of celebrity, and Aaron tries to keep him grounded. That’s why this pairing was so obvious to me. With lyrics like, “I just wanna feel,” I think Get Him to the Greek and “Plastic Heart” are perfect together. 

“Angels Like You” as Casablanca 

My head canon is that Rick (Humphrey Bogart) and Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) sing this to each other as Rick is putting Ilsa on the plane. I think each sees the other as the “angel.” Ilsa sees Rick as the man she’ll always love and thinks he’s going to escape with her, while Rick sees Ilsa as the one who got away and knows they can’t be together. But, let’s maybe just keep this as head canon and never try to remake Casablanca. 

“Prisoner (feat. Dua Lipa)” as My Best Friend’s Wedding 

This is an example of a pairing that I need you to suspend your belief on. Okay? Okay. Jules (Julia Roberts) realizes she’s in love with her best friend Michael (Dermot Mulroney) and casually decides to try to convince him to leave his fiance and call off his wedding. Y’know, totally mature and, in no way, toxic behavior. 

I think in Jules’s mind, she’s been imprisoned by her feelings for Michael, and they’ve always had a special connection. Jules sees these feelings as something she has to act on, and she just “can’t get [him] off [her] mind.” But, a part of her also blames Michael for her feelings, much like the song. 

“Gimme What I Want” as Ginger Snaps 

There’s no way you can listen to “Gimme What I Want” and not think of a werewolf. I’m sorry. Also, let’s mix in all of the hormones that course through your system in adolescence. hat’s what led me to Ginger Snaps. After she’s bitten, Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) transforms into a werewolf and her entire worldview changes. We’re just going to leave it there because this movie is about puberty and teenagers, so let’s keep it PG-13. 

“Night Crawling (feat. Billy Idol)” as Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

Now, there are a couple of different perspectives we could utilize for this one, so I think it would be a full ensemble song. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that there are…vampires. This is one of those songs I mentioned up top that SCREAMS vampiric desires. 

“Night crawlin’, sky fallin’

Gotta listen when the Devil’s callin’

Can’t shake it, I’ll taste it

When it’s yellin’ out my name, I chase it” 

LIKE, COME ON. You could even have Buffy (Kristy Swanson) singing against the numerous vampires to show the parallels between her mentality of slaying versus the vamps’ dastardly deeds. 

“Midnight Sky” as Bit 

I want to confess something. I LOVE this song. I can’t tell you how many times I played it when it came out, and I still listen to it regularly. Man, it feels good to get that off my chest, and we can move on now. 

At the fear of repeating myself again, here’s another song I paired with a vampire movie. In Bit, Laurel (Nicole Maines) is seduced into being a vampire after meeting Izzy (Zolee Griggs) at Duke’s (Diana Hopper) club. I can see this song playing in the club as Izzy and Duke set their sights on Laurel. 

“High” as Rachel Getting Married 

CW/TW: addiction, grief, loss, drunk driver, fatal car crashes, and everything similar 

I watched Rachel Getting Married as a teenager, but I still recognized how good this movie is. To fully understand how I made this pairing, I want you to take any sexual component out of the lyrics. Instead, I want you to picture Kym (Anne Hathaway) singing this and talking about her dead brother, Ethan. She was responsible for his death, and their sister, Rachel (Rosemarie DeWitt), hasn’t fully forgiven her. 

Miley and Kym have the same mentally here of missing someone so terribly. While Miley is more than likely talking about the feeling of being high as opposed to any of the vices Kym turns to, their mental states are very similar in this moment. 

“Hate Me” as Walk the Line

Johnny Cash struggled with addiction, and it’s no secret that his and June’s relationship started when he was still married to someone else. I can see Johnny (Joaquin Phoenix) singing this song to June (Reese Witherspoon) when he’s trying to get her back or while he’s detoxing. June loved Johnny, but their relationship was tumultuous, much like the one described in this song. 

“Bad Karma (feat. Joan Jett)” as Bound 

First and foremost, I can’t believe I’m writing a piece about a Miley Cyrus album that pairs a song she sings with Joan Jett with Bound. Dreams do come true. 

Secondly, I think Violet (Jennifer Tilly) would ABSOLUTELY sing something like this as she sneaks out to scheme with Corky (Gina Gershon) if Bound ever became a musical. In fact, Corky and Violet could do a hot duet of it. 

“Never Be Me” as Rent 

“Never Be Me” is “Take Me or Leave Me” for people who were in the fine arts as kids and are now in their 30s. I said what I said. This song SCREAMS Maureen (Idina Menzel), through and through. Maureen is a very strong personality, and she wants Joanne (Tracie Thoms) to know exactly what she’s getting into. If they updated Rent and picked modern songs to add into the musical, it would be a travesty if they didn’t choose “Never Be Me.” 

“Golden G String” as Hustlers 

I know this one might seem like it’s on the nose, but I didn’t pair these songs based on the title alone. “Golden G String” is about embracing your sexuality and reclaiming your power as a woman. I know that in Hustlers, they’re, um, drugging men and stealing their money, but take a step back. 

Crimes aside, Ramona (Jennifer Lopez), Destiny (Constance Wu), and Co are looking to overcome the setbacks life has thrown at them while getting back at some of the men who treat women as objects. AGAIN, I don’t condone the crimes they committed, but I think it’s easy to see the parallels here. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the first three episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager into the ol’ VCR. 

CW/TW: references to child SA and ab*s* 

I’m one of those people who have to sleep with background noise, be it a show, podcast, or movie. Oftentimes, I’ll pick a show I’ve watched a million times or something I’ve seen before so that I don’t get distracted and wind up staying up later than I should. 

A few weeks ago, I was flipping through streamers and landed on Secret Life for my bedtime show. And, y’all, it’s so much worse than I remembered it being. 

This show is so bad, like NEXT LEVEL bad. The worst part is, I think the show meant well. I might be wrong, but I think their end goal was to get a dialogue about sex going between parents and teens. However, the execution is cringy at best. 

For those who don’t know, Secret Life was created by Brenda Hampton, who also brought us the truly batshit 7th Heaven (which I’ll need to tackle in another piece). 

We all know I love teen shows, but I honestly don’t know if I could keep watching this one, even though there’s an entire storyline where Grace thinks God killed her dad because she had sex. 

If you don’t believe me, Google it. 

In true B Movies fashion, I’ve decided to break down each of the episodes into my unhinged thoughts, so it’s like you’re watching the episodes with me. God help us both. 

Episode One 

• Two North Korea jokes AND Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” in the first five minutes? We’re off to the races.  
• I don’t mean this as an insult, but this was 100% written by someone who grew up in purity culture. I can say that because I grew up in public schools in Texas and was taught Sex Ed by coaches who blushed when they talked about HPV. 
• I’m so proud of Francia Raisa for making it through this. 
• Grace is so Fundie coded, albeit a well-intended Fundie, but a Fundie nonetheless. 
• I think Joe’s sweater is supposed to have little bats, but they look like tiny IUDs. 
• It’s like Saved! without the satire and commentary and humor. 
• Ben “I was just watching you” Boykewich is a walking red flag. 
• God, Ricky is the absolute worst, but I can also confirm that he fits the persona of a lot of drumline guys to a T. 
• Lauren is the only one with any sense…OPE JK. 
• Not Jack asking her when they’re going to get married as 15/16 year olds so that they can have sex, and Grace saying she wants to wait until AFTER MED SCHOOL. 
• I was making a bet with myself on how long it would be before they mentioned God’s Loophole, and I’m surprised it wasn’t brought up. 
• But, by god, there’s a forbidden fruit reference. 
• Is he the counselor or a member of CSI: Miami? Let a horny teenager join the marching band, Jesus. 
• That…is not how band works at all. 
• These writers have never spoken to anyone under 35 in their entire lives. 
• In what universe would a pediatrician give a teenage patient a gynecological exam when she went to her to write a paper? 
• Omfg, not “Daughters.” 
• DID THAT RANDOM WOMAN JUST HAND HER CHILD TO AMY WHILE SHE GOT UP? 
• God forbid a teenager show her belly button. 
• This dinner conversation makes my skeleton want to leave my body. 
• Tom is the best character on this show. 
• Ernie Hudson and Molly Ringwald deserve so much better than this. 
• Okay, I’ll give them Jack’s desperate and sexually frustrated prayer in-huddle because I laughed really hard. 
• “My dad is quite the driver?” Do these writers know what teenagers are?
• Um, did these teenagers really say to trap Ben by pretending it’s his baby? 
• “I don’t know how to be a Christian AND a man right now”? GIVE ME A BREAK. You’re also a child.
• HELL YEAH, TOM! 

Episode Two 

• Ricky, John Bender called, and he wants his personality back. 
• Okay, I know Adrian is supposed to be the villain of the show, but she’s kind of iconic. 
• Also, STOP SHAMING PEOPLE FOR HAVING SEX. 
• Also, DON’T PRESSURE ANYONE TO HAVE SEX. 
• Also, STOP CALLING EACH OTHER “KID” WHEN YOU’RE ALL THE SAME AGE.  
• Yes, Grace’s Mom, YES. 
• Adriana walked so that Maddy Perez from Euphoria could run. 
• Okay, maybe I did adolescence wrong, but outside of celebrities, there was no one I talked about marrying. 
• Um, maybe let’s not say, “Hey, Ben, we know your mom died when you were 11, but it’s time to move on.” 
• I’m 31-years-old, and I would puke if someone said “My Baillee” as a pet name. 
• Ashley is an absolute queen, and I love how Hot Topic coded she is.  
• George is the WORST. 
• Jack basically saying, “Listen, I’m a Christian! I know I cheated, but I’m a Christian!” triggered me in ways you can’t imagine. 
• Honestly? I have no notes on how Grace’s parents talked to Jack. 
• Um, I would love to see the study that says the number one killer of women is “low self-esteem.” 
• The “I love you” phone call between Amy and Ben made my face physically contort in disgust. 

Episode Three 

• Okay, well, we have a grown man ogling a 13-year-old girl, and that’s repulsive.  
• Ben assuming that his friend’s girlfriend meant she wanted to have sex with him. Good God. 
• Um…did the counselor just allude that he’d like to sleep with a teenage student? 
• I know I don’t drive, but is it commonplace for gas stations to give away free tampons for filling up your tank?
• I’ve never been married, but uh, does anyone else find it weird that the Juergens are obsessed with their dad’s ex-wife and his ex-wife’s new husband when they have been divorced for years? 
• Grace’s mom is serving cunt with her hair and razor sharp eyeliner. 
• RIP Deborah Raffin. 
• Adrian’s “I ♻️ Boys” shirt is 2much4me. 
• I think they Googled “Mom Bealls” for Molly Ringwald’s wardrobe and then bought every thing that came up. 
• THESE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 80 MINUTES. EVERYONE LEAVE THEM BE. 
• Yeah, Grace, the fact your parents don’t want you to date a guy who openly cheated on you is “being unreasonable.”
• I am so unbearably uncomfortable with teenagers calling each other “so sexy.” 
• Okay, I honestly feel so bad for Ashley because she’s trying to hold their entire family together.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping underrated horror movies into the ol’ VCR. 

I’m going to be really honest and probably sound the most pretentious I ever have. 

Here goes. 

This piece was a little hard for me to put together because I’m a huge horror girlie and all-around cinefile, so it’s difficult for me to gauge what’s underrated vs a cult classic. 

I feel like I’ll start asking if you’ve heard of The Shins next 

I’m also friends with a lot of other movie buffs, or people who humor me and have sat through most of these, so I didn’t have a sounding board. 

Long story short, please forgive me if some of these aren’t as underrated as I think they are. 

Alrighty then. 

With the pretentious disclaimer out of the way, here are 10 underrated (?) horror movies that will make you sound cool* at cocktail parties:

• Jack Came Home
• Tamara
• The Rage: Carrie 2
• The Guest
• Come True
• The Invitation 
• Tusk
• May 
• Spring
• After Midnight 
• Summer of 84 

*Rizz not guaranteed

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping horror musicals into the ol’ VCR. 

I love a good musical. But, I am picky about them. 

I know this is probably blasphemy, but I’m not a fan of Les Misérables or Wicked. 

I don’t like White Christmas. 

I’m more of a Mamma Mia!/Hairspray/Rent girlie. 

Additionally, I LOVE The Phantom of the Opera, which tracks. This may be controversial, but I would consider it to be a horror musical; I’d settle for a demented love story with horrific elements for the sake of argument, but you catch my drift. 

In my mind, this takes place in the same universe as Unedited Footage of a Bear

Outside of The Phantom of the Opera, there are many a’ true horror musicals, including the Bat Boy and Evil Dead musicals that, unfortunately, don’t have film adaptations yet. 

Fingers crossed. 

I love horror musicals because they inject something new into the horror genre. We know horror can be funny and scary and, erm, horny, but horror musicals give a movie more depth and personality. 

Sure, a villain can murder victims, but if he sings while doing it? Forget about it! 

These songs also give us a vocalized internal monologue. Don’t get me wrong — I love a strong, silent type like Michael. But, sometimes, it’s fascinating to hear from the monster itself…especially when those feelings are articulated in a ballad. 

Or, y’know, when Paris Hilton sings and sensually dances down an alleyway because she’s addicted to a fictional drug in a dystopian future. 

Case in point 

Tomato, tomato. 

If you’re a little freak like me and want some music with your macabre, I’ve crafted a list of some of my favorite horror musicals below. 

Without further ado, break out the fake blood and fanfare, and check out these horror musicals: 

• Rockula 
• The Lure 
• Stage Fright 
• Little Shop of Horrors
• Repo! The Genetic Opera  
• Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Anna and the Apocalypse
• Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the work of Adam Wingard into the ol’ VCR. 

I’ve been a big fan of Adam Wingard, Joe Swanberg, Simon Barrett, Ti West, and that whole group for a long time now. 

Adam Wingard first hit my radar when I watched V/H/S and V/H/S 2. Then, an old manager told me I had to watch The Guest, which, surprise, is also directed by Adam Wingard. 

Shortly after falling in love with The Guest, I watched You’re Next and proceeded to make my way through Ti West and Joe Swanberg’s films as well. 

This is controversial, but I was stoked for Wingard’s Blair Witch, and I’ll defend it. Nothing will ever beat The Blair Witch Project, but I wasn’t mad at his contribution to the series by any means. 

Could we cut down on the droid footage? Yes. 

But, I love all of the time loop stuff, and I think it was smart to give this Blair Witch a familial connection to its predecessor. 

I would let Dan Stevens carve my pumpkin any day of the week 

One thing I love about Adam Wingard is that a lot of his movies, especially his earlier stuff, has a really specific feel to it. His movies are all high quality, but there’s this almost punk rock, DIY aesthetic to it. 

It doesn’t have the raw grit that Robert Rodriguez’s films often do, but that’s the closest comparison I can think of. 

I think it also has to do with Wingard casting a lot of the same people in his early movies. 

It’s like watching movies you made with your high school friends, but if those movies were cult classics at worst. 

If I ever ask you if there’s something on my face, just know this is how I feel

I know I’m probably a little biased because Adam Wingard has directed so many of my favorite horror movies (if you know me, you know I will NEVER shut up about The Guest and will recommend it to everyone), but I do think he’s an excellent director. 

I haven’t seen Death Note, and I know a lot of people hated it, but I think it’s hopefully just a blip. HOPEFULLY. 

I also do hope that Adam Wingard’s Event Horizon series does eventually come to fruition because I think he could do a really good job with it. There haven’t been any recent updates, at least that I’ve seen, but a girl can dream. 

We’ll leave it here for now, but thank you, Adam Wingard, for giving me some of my favorite horror movies of all time.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Wim Wenders’s Perfect Days into the ol’ VCR. 

After several days of not being able to make the showtimes work, I finally caught a screening of Perfect Days.

I can’t speak highly enough of the latest from Wim Wenders. 

This movie gripped me from start to finish and more than earned a spot in my favorite movies of the year thus far. 

Perfect Days is all about appreciating the beauty in life’s fleeting moments as well as not taking chance encounters for granted. 

I said this on Instagram, but if I had to choose one word to describe this movie, it would be “beautiful.” Every simple moment is captivating, and that’s the entire point. 

Additionally, the soundtrack is INCREDIBLE, and I’m not just saying that because it has one of my favorite songs of all time in it, aka “Pale Blue Eyes” by The Velvet Underground. 

This movie also really touched me because Hirayama (Koji Yakusho) reminds me so much of KP. She was the kind of person who would give you her last dollar or the shirt off her back, and she would try to find the beauty in everything and everyone. 

I have a theory about this film as well. Now, this may be one of those times I feel like I’m interpreting things differently…but it turns out that’s what the filmmaker meant. And, y’know, the point of the movie. 

Fair warning, I’m going to have to spoil the ending, so skip down to the paragraph starting with “I truly” if you want to avoid spoilers. 

Ready?

Okay. 

Towards the end of the film, when Hirayama’s sister (Yumi Aso) comes to pick Niko (Arisa Nakano), it’s revealed (or, at least, alluded to) that Hirayama’s family is wealthy. We also learn that his father is suffering from some form of degenerative disorder, like Alzheimer’s or dementia, and that his personality changed. 

We can infer from this interaction that Hirayama’s father was not only abusive, but that he also chose to live a simple life. 

This leads me to my theory…and it’s really sad. 

I believe Hirayama lives in the moment and takes daily photos for one of two reasons: 

1. He is starting to fall victim to the same illness as his father. 
2. He wants to have these photos and memories IF he does fall victim to the same illness as his father. 

I fear that it’s more likely the first option for a couple of reasons.

To support my theory, I present to you my findings…

Firstly, he doesn’t remember giving Niko a camera just like his when she was younger. 

Secondly, I think the black and white images we see at night could be interpreted as memories starting to fail and/or Hiroyama struggling to hold on to the day’s memories. They might also just be dreams though 🤷‍♀️

Lastly, I think the final scene is extremely telling. We watch Hiroyama trying to keep smiling and not cry as Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” plays on. He’s fighting so hard to keep seeing the positive while not allowing anything negative to creep in. 

TL;DR: he knows what’s coming, and after the encounter with Mama’s ex-husband, his own mortality is hitting him hard. 

I TOLD YOU IT WAS SAD. 

I digress.

I truly can’t recommend this movie enough. It’s moving, heartfelt, and, at times, really funny. If you need a reminder to stop and smell the roses, Perfect Days is your sign.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my childhood computer games into the ol’ VCR. 

Now, friends, we know I’m not a gamer girlie. 

However, I did play a handful of computer games in the late 90s/early 00s that I was OBSESSED with. 

Did I finish most of them? Nope. 

Was one of them a free game I got from a cereal box? Absolutely. 

But, I figured that a lot of you probably played one, if not all, of these games as a kid, so I thought I would share a few of my favorite computer games…that also happen to be the only ones I played. 

Without further ado, dust off your Windows 98 maze screensaver, and get ready for some blasts from the past. 

Pajama Sam: No Need to Hide When It’s Dark Outside

I only ever played the first game in the Pajama Sam series, BUT I did actually beat this one. The TL;DR for this game is that Sam is scared of the dark, and in order to vanquish his fear, he goes on a mission to defeat darkness.

It’s actually very cute and more than likely explains why I name all of my inanimate objects, because most of them have names and talk (my favorite being Otto the Boat, who, at second glance, seems to have severe anxiety). I’m now seeing why he was my favorite. Moving on. 

If you want to spend an hour reliving some nostalgia, or if I’ve piqued your interest, you can watch a full walkthrough below. 

Video source: Humongous Fan Soundtracks

Detective Barbie in The Mystery of the Carnival Caper!

I never beat this stupid game. If memory serves, it was glitchy, and my sister and KP BOTH tried to help me beat this game, and none of us could. The premise is, that in a surprise to no one, Ken vanishes after assisting with a magic trick. 

Upon my research, I also found out that someone stole a bunch of charity money? If this wasn’t released in 1998, I would absolutely believe ChatGPT wrote this entire premise. I never finished this game, so, for now, this mystery remains…unsolved. 

I must also insist you watch the walkthrough below because this is one of the most insane children’s games I’ve ever seen. And no, I’m not still bitter that they didn’t have my name on the name list. Why would you even ask?

Video source: Nostalgia Realm

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Spellbound

Fun fact: I still have this game in my apartment TO THIS DAY. And, it remains undefeated. I actually had to look up the ending in my research, and, uh, it’s very silly. However, I loved Sabrina the Teenage Witch, so I tried countless times to get my witch license. I also dare you to not have the Siouxsie and the Banshees song of the same name stuck in your head for the rest of the day. 

Video source: Andrea Pannocchia

The Land Before Time Activity Center

I remember getting the free version of this game out of a cereal box and thinking it was buried treasure. There were coloring pages, a maze game, and some matching puzzles. Surprisingly, I did find several walkthroughs for this one, but keep in mind I only had the free version, so it didn’t have this *exact* game play. 

Video source: Lilbumblebear