B Movies Blog

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January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the work of Doris Day into the ol’ VCR. 

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I was sick a lot as a kid. Every time I was stuck at home, KP or my sister would make the traditional Blockbuster run and return with a stack of movies. The catch? There would always be some sort of theme. 

During one particular bout of strep throat, KP decided it was time to introduce me to the works of Doris Day. There were also Lucille Ball movies, but Lucy will get her own piece soon. 

Needless to say, I fell in love with her work. Are Doris Day movies perfect? No. But, she wasn’t just a helpless damsel in her movies. She had a personality and was funny and smart. One of the problems I have with older movies (and that many others have) is how women are written. And, y’know, the racism, homophobia, etc…I digress. 

When you turn your headphones down to eavesdrop on the conversation someone is having at the next table

However, Doris Day steals the show. She doesn’t just fall into the arms of her male co-stars. Sure, there are always love arcs, but that’s not her only focus. Doris Day also takes her own comedic beats and isn’t easily forgotten. 

Again, I know her films aren’t perfect, but it was a little refreshing to a burgeoning Movie Maven like myself. Additionally, you could argue Doris Day is one of the original Manic Pixie Dream Girls. I said what I said. 

Without further ado, I give you my favorite four Doris Day movies. 

RIP 🖤

I hate how Colonel Sanders coded this outfit is

Send Me No Flowers: I can’t imagine how George Kimball would’ve fared with the likes of WebMD. 

Please Don’t Eat the Daisies: The Amityville Horror but make it quirky. 

The Glass Bottom Boat: Two words for you, Rod – Occam’s razor. 
Calamity Jane: Calamity Jane walked so that Kissin’ Kate Barlow could run.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Ralph Hemecker’s Haunting Sarah into the ol’ VCR.

CW/TW: child death, miscarriage/pregnancy bleeding, infertility, car accidents 

All I can say is long live Lifetime horror movies. 

You know I LOVE when Lifetimes decides to foray into horror with offerings like Haunting Sarah and Devil’s Diary. 

Part Dead Ringers, part Hereditary, Haunting Sarah tells the story of Erica and Heather Rose (both played by Kim Raver). When Heather’s son, David (Ryland Thiessen), is tragically killed and begins tormenting Erica’s daughter, Sarah (Niamh Wilson, who you might recognize as Lydia from Rise of the Pink Ladies). Erica realizes far more sinister forces might be at play. 

Especially when she finds out she’s pregnant with a baby boy. 

BUM BUM BUM. 

You can probably see where this is headed. 

Now, I don’t think there’s any amount of gentle parenting that could help our ghostly David. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but this kid is a little twerp. 

He relentlessly torments his poor cousin who had nothing to do with his death. I more than understand that he was cruelly ripped from this world, but c’mon, kid. 

I feel like this was ripped directly out of the “quintessential creepy kid” stock image library

I never thought I’d say this, but I do think that Haunting Sarah is stronger than Devil’s Diary. In fact, I don’t have nearly as many jokes about Haunting Sarah. 

Is it low budget? Yes. 

Is the script award-winning? Absolutely not. 

But was I engrossed the entire time? You betcha. 

It Takes Two (Kim Raver and a Green Screen)

Don’t get it twisted. This is still a silly little Lifetime horror movie. However, it’s MUCH better than I remember it being. 

I was fully prepared to get in here and make fun of it. I made a cup of coffee. I cracked my knuckles. The works. 

But, alas, it’s good?  

One of the only real jokes I have is that, at one point, Erica, Sarah, and Edgar (Rick Roberts) appear to drive on the same highway as Max and Goofy in A Goofy Movie.   

I’m just as shocked as all of you, I swear. I never expected a movie I haven’t rewatched in over a decade to hold up, especially one that aired on Lifetime. But, somehow, it just does. 

I sincerely recommend this one, even though it’s predictable. 

Just, y’know, maybe don’t trust your twin sister if she tries to convince you to get rid of the nanny that clearly knows what’s up. 

Haunting Sarah is now streaming on Amazon Prime, Pluto TV, Tubi, and The Roku Channel

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping horror anthology series into the ol’ VCR. 

We all know I’m a SUCKER for a good horror anthology movie, so it should come as no surprise that I’m a sucker for a good horror anthology series. 

Now, I’m going to go ahead and address the elephant in the room. American Horror Stories isn’t on this list. Not only is it way too hit or miss for my liking, but I can’t really give it my seal of approval based on what Emma Roberts allegedly said to Angelica Ross. 

Purposely misgendering and/or making transphobic jokes is unacceptable. 

I digress. 

The horror anthology subgenre is interesting to me for a few reasons. 

First and foremost, each episode or segment of an anthology has to tell a story within a few minutes, as opposed to that of a full length feature. Creators have to build an entire world within a matter of a couple of minutes, or, sometimes, even seconds. They have to make us care about these characters. The balance between dialogue and action is much more tedious. You name it. 

Secondly, you get a wraparound segment. It can bookend the film, drop in periodically, or set the background for the rest of the anthology. The Cryptkeeper had his crypt, and Rod often popped up in the same setting as his characters to give us the intro. 

However, as horror anthologies evolved, they ditched the wraparounds and hosts and threw us straight into the action like Black Mirror and Fear Itself.

I, too, sometimes feel like a disembodied eyeball floating through space 

Last, but certainly not least, I love horror anthologies because we get to see a variety of content. Each episode, segment, or season has a new director, cast, and crew, so you get to see different works in a centralized location. It’s also a great way for new creatives to show their style to the world. 

Anyway, that’s my long-winded way of saying I love horror anthology series. 

If you’ve made it this far, bravo! 

Without further ado, here are seven of my favorite horror anthology series: 

• The Twilight Zone
• Outer Limits
• Tales from the Crypt
• Freddy’s Nightmares
• Fear Itself 
• Creepshow 
• Black Mirror

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the work of Tim Curry into the ol’ VCR. 

Now, babies, don’t you panic. 

If you were ever doubtful about Tim Curry getting his own spotlight, I hope today eases your mind. 

Much like Doris Day and other actors we’ve shone the spotlight on, Tim Curry played such a major part in my childhood, and he stars in so many of my comfort movies. 

However, you don’t need me to tell you how iconic Tim Curry is; his filmography speaks for itself. 

My staring at myself in every single Zoom meeting 

He’s Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Wadsworth, and Pennywise. He manipulated Annie away from Daddy Warbucks. He’s sailed the high seas with the Muppets and procured a limousine and cheese pizza for Macaulay Culkin. 

He even pops up in classics like Charlie’s Angels and Scary Movie 2. Yes, I’m calling Scary Movie 2 a classic. No, don’t think too much about it. 

He’s a Legend. See what I did there?

I want to see these two on The White Lotus 

I could Con-go on forever making film puns based on Tim Curry’s resume, but I think I should probably refrain. 

Without further ado, here are four of my favorite Tim Curry movies and one miniseries (I dare you to guess): 

Rocky Horror Picture Show: I see you shiver with antici………pation for the rest of this list. 

Clue: The real start of my interest in true crime. 

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York: I’ve been too scared to ask room service for more towels, let alone all of the luxuries Kevin does.

It: As someone who has lived through my fair share of unprecedented events, I wouldn’t even flinch at the sight of Pennywise. 

Annie: Do you remember the clip from Annie that HBO would always show, or are you normal?

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the history of Adult Swim into the ol’ VCR. 

Friends, it’s finally time for the second entry in our three-part Adult Swim series. If you missed the first entry about the Adult Swim Infomercials, you should check it out. We’ll wait. 

Ready? 

Alrighty, so we all know I love Adult Swim. They have some of the best marketing on the planet. Their social channels are golden. The billboards are *chef’s kiss.* I even got to go to the Adult Swim Drive-In back in the day, and it was a BLAST. 

I also, obviously, love a lot of their content. 

The big question is, how did it all start? How did Adult Swim evolve into what it is today? When will I stop using questions to make points? 

To answer the first two questions, we’re about to find out! And to answer the last question, never. 

In the early 1990s, Cartoon Network had been testing out some adult animation following the success of shows like The Simpsons. This is also how the early iteration of Toonami was born. 

Video source: DSxBullets

However, in 1994, the Adult Swim we would come to know and love started rearing its head with Mike Lazzo and co’s Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. 

If you’re an avid Space Ghost watcher like moi, you’re familiar with the Ghost Planet Industries title card at the end of the show. Ghost Planet Industries would later become William Street Productions, but the title card would remain the same, sans name. 

That white background with the fluttering building and sound effects is forever ingrained in my brain. I digress. 

Space Ghost led to the creation of other iconic shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which found its beginning in the “Baffler Meal” episode. Other shows like Sealab 2021 and Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law also found their start during 2000/2001. 

Finally, on September 2, 2001, the first programming block of Adult Swim aired, after what seems like months of turmoil, with shows like Cowboy Bebop and Home Movies at the helm. 2001 also marked the beginning of the bumpers with footage of older people in a swimming pool to signify the transition from Cartoon Network to Adult Swim. 

Video source: zeronightroost

In the mid-2000s, Adult Swim would start airing ill-fated shows like The Oblongs and Family Guy (which is hard to believe now), along with their original series. 

Over the years, the original series we had come to know and love would be phased out to make room for new content and other syndicated shows. However, Adult Swim continued to be a hub for creative, surreal, and sometimes downright weird content like all of the Tim and Eric properties, The Eric Andre Show, Loiter Squad, The Heart, She Holler, and countless others. 

Adult Swim’s advertising would continue to dominate other programming blocks/networks, in my opinion, as well as performing annual April Fools’ pranks that oftentimes benefited viewers. 

In 2013, Adult Swim would also integrate infomercials into their regular programming to, once again, solidify their iconic status. 

While the lineup would continue to change, I would also tune in while I had cable. Then, I would later buy multiple DVD releases. And now, most of Adult Swim’s content is available on Max. 

Video source: Adult Swim 

I know that the future of Adult Swim, at least the iteration we all grew up with, is probably uncertain because of it being a programming block on a TV channel. But, I do fully believe Adult Swim has the power to stick around. Call it blind optimism if you’d like, but I don’t think we’ll get rid of them that easily. 

I also don’t think we should. Listen, I clearly don’t know what happens behind the scenes, so I can only speak from my side of the screen. But, it seems like Adult Swim gives creators a space to share their amazing content with the world that, oftentimes, other networks pass on. 

Do I love every single show they’ve ever created, distributed, or shown? Nope, but that’s not the point. The point is Adult Swim is a gloriously weird little piece of programming that shaped a lot of my humor. 

Additionally, Adult Swim runs the Adult Swim Mural Project that gives Black artists a space to share their art with the world. 

Again, I don’t know what the future holds, but I will say one thing… 

Thank you, Adult Swim.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Two-Sentence Horror Stories into the ol’ VCR. 

I opened my laptop to write a new piece about Two-Sentence Horror Stories for the B Movies Blog. The problem is, I forgot my blue light glasses in the other room and have to get back up. 

SCARY, right?

If you haven’t caught on, we’re talking about the world of Two-Sentence Horror Stories today. 

Two-Sentence Horror Stories are fascinating to me. I really enjoy the TV series, and I also enjoy the subreddit.

But, what really gets me is how goofy some of these stories are. Like, unbelievably goofy. 

Don’t believe me? 

Here are some real gems: 

I rest my case. 

On the other hand, there are also some good Two-Sentence Horror Stories to counteract the bad. For example: 

Note: This screenshot is from a Buzzfeed article and not Reddit because it wouldn’t show me the Reddit page without signing in, and I don’t have an account. 

You get the picture. 

As a writer myself, I think it’s cool to challenge yourself to write an entire plot in two sentences. I respect everyone who writes them, even the goofy ones. I also think there’s a lot of space to play in here. 

I would honestly LOVE to see a horror anthology movie where each story is based on two sentences the contributor wrote. Or even that another contributor wrote. Additionally, I’d love to see a YouTube channel dedicated to bringing these to life through short films. Maybe something like Two-Minute, Two-Sentence Horror Stories?

If any of you make this channel, you have to include me. I can’t edit and have zero filmmaking experience, but I do have a heart of gold. 

The TV series also proved that these stories translate well to film. 

If you aren’t familiar, Vera Miao created a series for The CW that was unfortunately canceled in 2023. However, you can check out the episodes over on Netflix, and I would highly recommend them. 

“But, Baillee, where should I start with the TV series?” 

Well, friends, you’ve, yet again, come to the right place. 

I’ve grabbed a few of my favorite episodes and dropped them in, you guessed it, a list below. 

These episodes may have a lot more than two sentences, but they’re absolutely worth the watch. 

Without further ado, here are 5 episodes to check out from the Two Sentence Horror Stories series. Insert second sentence here.

Note: Netflix has grouped the series into three seasons, not four, so I’m using the Netflix classification season for easier browsing. 

• “Squirm” – Season 1, Episode 2 (CW/TW: SA) 
• “Tutorial” – Season 1, Episode 6
• “Essence” – Season 2, Episode 7 
• “Crush” – Season 3, Episode 1 
• “Teatime” – Season 3, Episode 4 

I know there are only 5 episodes listed here, but I truly recommend watching the full series. Each episode is only 20-minutes long, and there are some wonderful and creative stories all throughout. Not to mention a lot of really talented cast and crew members.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping forgotten game shows into the ol’ VCR. 

It should come as no surprise that I loved watching game shows as a kid. I’d often watch them with my grandfather, who I miss dearly. I’d also force my family to watch them or catch them on late night reruns when I couldn’t sleep. 

You might be familiar with the big game shows like Deal or No Deal, Family Feud, and The Weakest Link. But what about some of the lesser known game shows? The ones you may have thought were a fever dream or only vaguely remember from time to time. 

Well, friends, here at the B Movies Blog, we’ve got you covered. 

I have five little game shows you may or may not remember, ranging from the late 80s to the early 00s. You can still find clips of most of these bad boys on YouTube, and it’s WILD to revisit them now. 

Also, I swear that You Don’t Know Jack lasted longer than six episodes, so I must’ve hopped timelines. 

Or, y’know, just forgotten because I was nine. 

Both are equally probable. 

Without further ado, here are six forgotten game shows to keep you guessing throughout the day. 

Lingo: Wordle, I think the folks at GSN would like a word. 

You Don’t Know Jack: The scene of a fake baby peeing on contestants while being swaddled and rocked by Paul Reubens (RIP) lives in my head rent free. 

Finders Keepers: Times used to be simpler, like when Nickelodeon would allow kids to do basically anything on game shows. 

Street Smarts: Problematic Assumptions, the game show! 

Friend or Foe?: No joke, I would watch the hell out of this if they brought it back and let someone like Brooke Baldwin host it. 

Russian Roulette: Kronk’s time to shine.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping content to watch on sleepless nights into the ol’ VCR. 

For context, I have anxiety-induced insomnia. Whenever I’m stressed out or super upset, I can’t sleep. 

I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. In fact, it’s yet another reason why I’ve seen so many movies. When I couldn’t sleep, but didn’t want to wake KP up, I’d surf through all of the movie channels that our cable provider supplied and would watch whatever looked good; it’s how I wound up watching Fight Club. 

Needless to say, this insomnia has carried over into my adulthood. In my early to mid 20s, I worked late hours, so I became a bit nocturnal. After work, my friends and I would watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. 

I Am Baillee’s Young Brain being exposed to a parody/exploration of toxic masculinity 

Now that I’m in my 30s, I’ve found ways to help myself sleep. However, insomnia does sometimes get the best of me. And, on those nights, I find myself mentally back in my childhood bedroom, surfing for content. 

I know I’ve talked about my comfort shows before, and there is a little bit of overlap between these shows and the shows I turn to when I can’t sleep. The biggest difference between the midnight specials, as I’m calling them, and my comfort shows are that these pieces of content can be stopped and started at any time. 

These are shows that will keep you entertained in the wee hours of the morning without making you think too hard about your impending alarm. Sure, there’s something comforting in them. And yes, they can also be something you turn to when you’re sick. 

I Googled “sleeplessness stock images,” and I found one that was eerily accurate

But, overall, these are shows you tend to rewatch post-midnight after you’ve been tossing and turning for hours, and flipping your pillows over multiple times doesn’t do anything. 

Without further ado, here are 10 offerings for those sleepless nights: 

• Any of the Smosh content marathons 
• The Midnight Gospel 
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
• Psych 
• House
• Boy Meets World 
• Parks and Rec 
• How I Met Your Mother (Keep in mind how outdated this show is) 
• Greek (Same deal as HIMYM) 
• Everything Sucks

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Zelda Williams’s Lisa Frankenstein into the ol’ VCR. 

Okay, listen, I don’t think any of us are surprised at how much I love this movie. 

But, I will give everyone kudos because I think the trailer does an excellent job of hiding key pieces of the storyline. 

I’m not trying to spoil this movie for anyone who doesn’t want it spoiled, but I can’t talk about Lisa Frakenstein the way I want to without revealing some plot points that are absent in the trailer. 

If you want to watch the movie first, I understand! 

We’ll give you some time to get your tickets, go to your local theater, and come back to your phone. 

Ready? 

Okay. 

Shoutout to the woman beside me who whispered to her friend, “Oh, I get it, because she sews!” when this scene happened 

It is I, your friendly, neighborhood Dead Mom girl here to talk to you, yet again, about various cinematic representations of grief. 

One of the big plot points (it’s revealed around 10 minutes in, so I don’t feel too bad) is that…drumroll please… 

Lisa’s mom was murdered. After her mother’s death, her dad quickly remarried and moved her to a new house in a new town for her senior year of high school. 

Yes, friends, Lisa Frakenstein is not just an homage to older Tim Burton movies and classics like Weird Science. It’s an examination of grief. 

And yes, I’ve already added Lisa Swallows to my list of costumes for October, thank you 

Throughout the film, Lisa (Kathryn Newton) discusses her grief and how she felt as though everyone was happy to move on; however, they continuously judge her for mourning her mother. 

Her dad operates in a haze. When her stepmom, Janet (Carla Gugino), goes missing, her dad, Dale (Joe Chrest), can’t even tell the police what Janet’s hair or eye color are. Dale just wants to move past his deceased wife’s (Jennifer Pierce Mathus) murder at any cost. 

There’s no examination of feelings, and at no point in the movie does he ever check in with Lisa. Dale never sees the obvious, and my interpretation is that he finds bliss in his ignorance. Lisa, who was home and heard her mother’s murder, I might add, is left to deal with her grief alone.  

I’ve seen some criticism of the characters being flat, but I have to disagree. Goddamn, can Diablo Cody write complex female characters and break down complicated female dynamics. 

Additionally, Diablo Cody tends to use her characters as a vessel to tell a story as opposed to shaping a story around her characters. 

I also think that some of the characters are purposely written as two-dimensional a) as an homage to the “weirdo” movies of the 1980s where the only characters with dimension were the leads and b) to make them satirical. 

I could be wrong, but judging off of Diablo Cody’s other work, I believe all of the characters were crafted with intention. 

I digress. 

I sincerely love this movie. In fact, I’ll more than likely go see it again. If this movie had come out when I was in high school, I would’ve made it my entire personality and been insufferable. 

The Creature (Cole Sprouse) looks like a guy I would’ve secretly liked in high school and compulsively journaled about. 

You either get it or you don’t 

The soundtrack is perfect. 

The dream sequence is so well-done; the almost-film-minor in me was rock hard. 

There are so many little details that I geeked out over. 

The writing is clearly incredible. 

I could go on and on. 

Do I think other people are going to love this movie as much as I did? I think it’ll vary. 

I don’t think it’s going to be as divisive as, say, Saltburn, but I don’t know if my love of this movie will put me in the minority or majority. 

I also think it’s extremely telling that Lisa Frakenstein and All of Us Strangers are two of my favorite movies of the year thus far. 

I promise I’m okay. 

And don’t worry, Final Destination 3 scared me away from tanning beds for the rest of my life. 

P.S. Pay attention to the name of the tanning bed

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping witch content into the ol’ VCR.

Y’all, I’m going to be honest. I had to basically sit on my hands to stop adding witch content to this piece. 

There are so many good movies and shows to choose from, and I had to make some tough decisions. 

Witch content also varies so much. Sometimes, you have beautiful but evil witches. Other times, you have “hideous” and evil witches. Witches can be fun like Sabrina or mysterious like Elly Kedward. 

Or, whenever we’re lucky, they can spawn truly insane movies like Teen Witch.

I tried to give you all variety while still being true to myself — aka there are some movies I couldn’t bear to leave out. 

I also think now is a good time to talk about witches because of a lot of the things going on in the world. 

Women accused of witchcraft were usually strong and independent women and/or women who had “wronged” men in some way. These women might also be powerful or not fulfill the conventional stereotypes set forth by those in charge. 

With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, the genocide in Palestine, and everything else in the world, we need powerful women. We need women who are willing to go against the grain and fight for what’s right. We need “witches.” 

Please keep sharing resources for women and speaking out against the genocide in Palestine and all of the other atrocities women, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and others are facing. 

I digress. 

Without further ado, here are 14 witch-centric movies and shows to wiggle your nose at: 

Bewitched (the TV show, obvi): I can’t wiggle my nose, so it would be my luck that I’ve had powers this entire time.

Suspiria (1977): I would love to see Julia Stiles’s character from Save the Last Dance at Tanz Akademie. 

The Blair Witch Project: I’ll give you all a moment to collect yourselves at the surprise of this moving being on the list. 

The Craft: I’m honored by the amount of Nancy Downs cosplay TikToks my friends send me. 

This is what should actually be in tampon commercials 

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: If you’ve ever wanted to do a couple’s costume as Bob and Elvira, please slide into my DMs. 

The Witches (1990): Anjelica Huston with that cunty bob? I can’t. 

Teen Witch: God bless the 1980s. 

The Witches of Eastwick: And y’all wonder why I don’t like dating. 

I wonder how much coke went into making this movie 

Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the TV show, animated series, AND movie, honestly): If you didn’t make your family members take you to Claire’s multiple times for the trading cards, I don’t know what we’re doing here.

Hocus Pocus: I’m 31-years-old and will still laugh at the word “yabos” every single time. 

The Worst Witch: What happens if you’re allergic to cats and can’t choose one? Asking for a friend. 

Practical Magic: Mine and Elliott’s ultimate friendship goal is to do a photoshoot inspired by Sally and Gillian. 

Pyewacket: I was a moody teenager, but I was never a “cast a spell and have an evil witch possess my mom and ultimately kill her” teenager. 

Mark of the Witch: I don’t have a quip for this one, but a fun memory. I saw this on the original 35mm at Terror Tuesday when Alamo Ritz still existed. RIP to a real one 🖤

I feel like Ken could learn a thing or two from Harvey Kinkle