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What’s On? – A Master Content Calendar For Your Bookmarks
Note: Check back for updates as new content is announced!
January 2026
January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)
January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)
January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)
January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)
January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)
January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)
January 9 – Primate (Theaters)
January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)
January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)
January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)
January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)
January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)
January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)
January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)
January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)
January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)
January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)
January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)
February 2026
February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)
February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)
February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)
February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)
February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)
February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)
February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)
February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)
February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)
February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)
February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)
February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)
March 2026
March 5 – Ted (Peacock)
March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)
March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)
March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)
March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)
March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)
March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)
March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)
March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)
April 2026
April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)
April 8 – The Boys (Prime)
April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)
April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)
April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)
April 17 – Normal (Theaters)
May 2026
May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)
May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)
May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)
May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)
June 2026
June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)
June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)
July 2026
July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)
July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)
August 2026
August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)
August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)
August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)
September 2026
September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)
September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)
September 18 – Play House (Theaters)
September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)
October 2026
October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)
October 2 – Digger (Theaters)
October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)
October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)
October 23 – Remain (Theaters)
November 2026
November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)
December 2026
December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)
December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)
December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)
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I Don’t: Hate Watching The Wedding Planner
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping The Wedding Planner into the ol’ VCR.
I was really in my head the other day, so I knew a sickeningly sweet rom-com would help me out of my slump. After browsing through a couple different streamers, I landed on The Wedding Planner.
I remembered it being innocent enough, even the scene with the sculpture’s junk.
You can only imagine my surprise when the charm I remembered was nonexistent. In fact, this entire script reeks of an AITA post, and I can assure you, everyone sucks here.
First and foremost, let’s talk about that sexist opening. A little girl playing with dolls and then saying a bunch of stuff about how Barbie is lucky because she and Ken are going to participate in a bunch of traditional gender roles? Cool.
“But, Baillee, this movie is almost 23 years old!”
Okay, sure. Fine. It was of a time when this was normalized.
Let’s move past the opening scene then.
The entire premise of this film is that Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saves Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and proceeds to lie to her face about being engaged. Quite frankly, I don’t even know if Steve would’ve come clean if Mary hadn’t turned out to be his wedding planner.

This is the face of a man who knows that he’s getting to have his cake and eat it too.
Steve even ADMITS to Mary that he’s attracted to her while they’re at a potential wedding venue. While, again, he is fully engaged. He even almost kissed her when they were watching the movie at the park.
“But, Baillee, Mary didn’t know.”
That’s absolutely true, and Mary would’ve come out unscathed…until the scene at her apartment.
Not to mention, all of this is happening while Mary’s father is trying to force her to marry someone, and she had to basically extort her boss for the promotion she deserved.
The only person I would argue that doesn’t totally suck is Fran (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras), but her comment about Steve not knowing he wanted to give up his practice yet are questionable at best.
Unsurprisingly, Fran’s parents do suck, though. Rich white people who are scoping out a wedding and helping themselves to everything available? It may be hard to believe, but these people are dreadful.
“But, Baillee, you’re getting really fired up about a movie that can legally vote, drink, and can almost rent a car!”
Yes, I know I am. I just haven’t been this fired up about a movie in a hot minute.

Judy deserved so much better than this.
I understand this came out in 2001 when a gay punchline was the height of comedy. I get it.
I also know that I’ve given movies with worse content a break, so I’ll give The Wedding Planner a break for its multitude of jokes at the expense of the LGBTQIA+ community. Do I condone them? Absolutely not. I also don’t condone its use of the “r” word, nor do I condone Justin Chambers’ fake Italian accent throughout the entirety of this movie.
But, y’all, the entire premise of the movie is that a man lies to a woman and doesn’t appear to have any intention of being honest until they happen to meet. Then, the two of them continue to keep this secret from his fiance throughout the film as they continue to fall for each other. Nay, while they flaunt their chemistry in front of his fiance.
Also, Steve refers to himself in the third person, and I think we’re supposed to find it cute and quirky, and I can’t stand for that.
Like c’mon.
And yes, I know that my trauma of having a parent that cheated multiple times is showing.

“Listen, it’s 2001! Emotionally cheating isn’t considered a real thing, so this is all fine.”
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Selling Like Hot Takes: My Controversial Movie Opinions
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my controversial movie opinions into the ol’ VCR.
Well, friends, I have some things to get off my chest.
We all have controversial movie opinions, right? There are critically- and audience-acclaimed movies we hate. There are beloved directors we aren’t fans of. There are “classic” movies we haven’t watched.
However, I haven’t shared all of mine with you. Since the B Movies Blog is almost a year old, I think it’s time to confess all of my cinematic sins.
Things in this piece may shock and disturb you, but I hope you’ll be able to see me the same way.
Without further ado, here are some of my controversial movie opinions.
Movies I Hate
I think we just need to rip off the bandaid. Some of the movies on this list won’t be surprising, but I do think a couple will be. I want to go ahead and give my famous disclaimer about how just because I hate a movie doesn’t make it bad, and I think it’s awesome that these films were made and exist; just because they aren’t my jam doesn’t mean other people can’t enjoy them.
In no particular order, here are a few films I hate:
- Arrival
- Interstellar
- The VVitch
- Skinamarink
- Don’t Worry Darling
- Beau is Afraid
I know this list isn’t too crazy, but I have another confession that may be the hottest take in here. Ready? I think The Lord of the Rings is boring. I’m so sorry. I’ve fallen asleep during them multiple times, and I’ve already admitted that I’m not a fantasy girlie. Please forgive me.
Overrated Directors
I don’t think these opinions are super radical, but I can see some people getting mad at me. First and foremost, I think Christopher Nolan is overrated. In fact, I’ve gone on record to say that Christopher Nolan is Michael Bay with a film degree from NYU.
Secondly, I think Sofia Coppola is super hit or miss. I always roll the dice when deciding whether or not to go see one of her movies. I think her movies are pretty, but I don’t think they always have the substance to back it up.
Lastly, I don’t think Zach Snyder should ever be a director. I think he’s a good cinematographer, and I enjoy his remake of Dawn of the Dead, but I think he needs to stay out of the director’s chair.
Movies I haven’t seen
I’m but a mere mortal, so there are plenty of movies I haven’t seen. But, there’s one series in particular that I still haven’t seen in my 31 years, and I think it’s going to be a little jarring. Okay, here goes. I’ve never seen The Godfather trilogy. Like… ever. Casino, Goodfellas, Scarface, you name it, I’ve seen it. I just haven’t watched any of The Godfather movies, and I almost feel like it’s too late to watch them now.
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It’s Not A Phase, Mom (RIP): The Angsty Albums That Soothed My Soul
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the pop punk, alt, and rock albums that Elliott and I loved as tweens and teens into the ol’ VCR.
When I write an edition of Lights, Camera, Albums, I usually listen through an album 3-4 times to pair each song with a movie. The LCA for From Under the Cork Tree was no exception. Listening to Fall Out Boy led to me listening to My Chemical Romance which led to me listening to Simple Plan…you can see where this is going.
It’s not uncommon for me to listen to a lot of the music I grew up with, but all of these albums were just hitting in a way I can’t fully express.
I could just picture little high school Baillee jamming out to these songs on her Zune (which I still have, btw). And now, thanks to social media, you can too!

This is me getting ready for my senior prom in 2010.
I’m also almost 100% sure that this was my last MySpace profile photo.
Now listen, I was Check-ing Yes with Juliet and had “The Curse of Curves” with the best of them. But, friends, if I listed every single pop punk, alt, etc…song that had a grip on me, I’d give my piece on Inside a run for its money.
That’s why, for today, at least, I narrowed it down to 10 albums. And believe me, this was a tough one.
I made my decision based on which albums I revisit the most, still know the most lyrics to, and which inserts I had in my clear binders. I also thought about which lyrics I wrote the most in journals and/or on Chucks and Vans in sharpie. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shared this to my Insta story.
After careful deliberation, the 10 albums listed below are the ones that made the cut. But wait! There’s more!
Since Elliott is only a couple of years older than me, and was also very much a pop punk/alt/emo girlie, she’s ALSO going to throw some of her albums into a little section I like to call: Elliott’s Picks.
Alrighty. Without further ado, here are 10 angsty albums that fueled (by ramen, get it?) my little Hot Topic-shopping, black eyeliner-clad soul.
- Simple Plan – No Helmets, No Pads…Just Balls
- My Chemical Romance – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
- Fall Out Boy – From Under the Cork Tree
- Avril Lavigne – Let Go
- Paramore – Riot!
- Green Day – American Idiot
- Bowling for Soup – A Hangover You Don’t Deserve
- Panic! At The Disco – A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out
- Motion City Soundtrack – Commit This to Memory
- Yellowcard – Ocean Avenue

Another banger from my senior photos.
Elliott’s Picks
- Bayside- Bayside
- Chiodos- All’s Well That Ends Well
- Hollywood Undead- Swan Songs
- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Don’t You Fake It
- Hawthorne Heights- The Silence In Black And White

- The Used- In Love and Death and The Used
- Brand New- Deja Entendu
- Taking Back Sunday- Really just songs off of each album released from 2002-2006
- Silverstein- Discovering the Waterfront
- Blink-182- blink-182

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Happy Anniversary, Movie Mavens
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping our one year anniversary letter into the ol’ VCR.
Well, Movie Mavens, I can’t believe it, but here we are.
On this day, exactly one year ago, I posted my very first letter to you, introducing myself and the blog.
Since then, we’ve launched a YouTube channel, started an Instagram account, and have written almost 200 pieces.
And we’re just getting started.
Elliott and I love the B Movies Blog and the B Movies Channel so much, and we have big plans for them moving forward. I love doing this, and I mean it with my entire heart.
I love filming videos where I talk to all of you about the content I’ve found across the internet. I love brainstorming, researching, and writing pieces for you about everything from major movies to the deep recesses of pop culture that most people have forgotten existed.
I don’t want to speak for Elliott, but I think she would more than agree with me. She’s an amazing editor and collaborator, and she (hopefully) enjoys doing this as much as I do.
Sure, there are times when our engagement or views are a little down, and I get discouraged. But I keep pushing, and lo and behold, it always comes back up. All of you are so supportive and kind, and I can’t thank you enough.
I was so scared to start B Movies because I didn’t know what would happen. Then, I was terrified to start a YouTube channel. Now, I’m excited.
Elliott and I have so many ideas of what we want to do and where we want to go, and we can’t wait to start working towards our goals. We may have even started working on a few. 😏
The long and short of it is that we’re grateful to all of you, and we can’t wait to spend another year talking about movies, pop culture, and everything in-between.
Happy Anniversary, Movie Mavens. 🖤
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Lights, Camera, Albums: Fall Out Boy’s From Under The Cork Tree
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping another edition of Lights, Camera, Albums into the ol’ VCR.
I was fortunate enough to grow up in a glorious time when pop punk was king. Any time you would see Fueled By Ramen as the record label, you knew it would be good. I also kept the black eyeliner industry in business with the amount I slathered under my eyes.
Now, as a 31-year-old, a ton of the albums I grew up with are turning 15+ years old. From Three Cheers to Revenge to A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, all of my albums are starting to drive (unlike me), registering to vote, and, sometimes, even hitting the legal drinking age.
When I was planning our editorial calendar for this year, I wanted to start out with an album I truly love but also one that spoke to little Baillee and all her angst. It didn’t take long to land on From Under the Cork Tree.

I sincerely love Fall Out Boy (and I’m actually going to see them this year), and I really wanted to challenge myself to find movies to go with their lyrics. And, surprisingly, I did.
If this is your first LCA, welcome! We’ve previously covered artists like Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, and Olivia Rodrigo, and you should definitely check out those pieces if you haven’t. However, if you want to start here with the ol’ FOB, I’ll give you a quick rundown.
LCA is a series where I break down an album and pair each track with a different movie. I also try to use new movies with each piece. Additionally, there are some pairings that might only make sense in my brain, but hey, I do what I can.
Alrighty, I think that’s enough context for today. Without further ado, I present to you, Lights, Camera, Albums: Fall Out Boy’s From Under the Cork Tree.

“Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued” as The Bling Ring
I really like these two together because “Our Lawyer…” is all about using people for their notoriety, much like how The Bling Ring broke into celebrity homes and got addicted to the thrill of it all. What really sealed the deal for me is the chorus (or hook? Y’all, I’m a movie person, not a music person):
“We’re only liars, but we’re the best (we’re the best)
We’re only good for the latest trends
We’re only good ’cause you can have almost famous friends
Besides, we’ve got such good fashion sense.”
“Of All the Gin Joints in All the World” as Saltburn
Okay, this one took me a minute. I decided to take a break from this piece to scroll through Instagram when I saw a reel about Saltburn, and it hit me. “Of All the Gin Joints in All the World” started off with the lyrics:
“You only hold me up like this
‘Cause you don’t know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it’s like to be you”
And boy, oh, boy does this work for the relationship between Felix (Jacob Elordi) and Oliver (Barry Keoghan). Oliver is dying to partake in the pleasures Felix is afforded, and he holds Felix up to this standard that no human being could ever uphold. (Or does he?) 👀
“Dance, Dance” as Climax
I know this one might seem like a bit of a stretch, but hear me out. The pacing of “Dance, Dance” matches the chaos of Climax. Patrick Stump is busting lyrics out at a mile a minute, and the fast-paced rhythm of “Dance, Dance” matches the tone of the film perfectly. Climax is obviously a lot darker than the song, but I think it works.

Saltburn (2023)
“Sugar, We’re Goin Down” as Anna and the Apocalypse
This was an easy one for me. Anna and the Apocalypse is an annual rewatch for me, and I watched it right before taking a shower and listening to this album. I see “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” sung from Nick’s (Ben Wiggins) perspective because he’s a douche, but there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes.
Nick likes Anna (Ella Hunt), but he’s at the “perfect” teenage boy age where he doesn’t know how to articulate his feelings, nor can he handle them. You can also take it in the literal sense, as Nick and Anna are fighting zombies together.
“Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner” as Something Borrowed
To me, Something Borrowed is almost like Jennifer’s Body sans horror. Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) has fully outgrown her friendship with Darcy (Kate Hudson), but they’re still in that awkward spot where neither can let go. When Rachel and Dex (Colin Egglesfield) start having an affair, Rachel sees Dex as her “best kept secret and [her] biggest mistake,” but is he really?
Additionally, it’s clear that Darcy is insecure and treats Rachel the way she does because Rachel lets Darcy have power over her. All of the lines about jealousy just SCREAM Darcy to me. I’ve had friends like this in the past, and I can honestly say that finally standing up for yourself is a relief beyond description.
“I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)” as Charlie Bartlett
I LOVE Charlie Bartlett. It came out when I was in high school, so I was at the perfect age for it, and I’ve been a huge fan ever since. Loving this movie as a high schooler also makes it the perfect mate for a Fall Out Boy song.
Charlie (Anton Yelchin) wants to fit in more than anything, which is how he winds up in the position of the school’s unofficial psychiatrist. However, it also lands him in a world of trouble after all the kids he’s worked to help rebel. I can see Charlie singing “I’ve Got a Dark Alley…” after the kids have trashed the lounge, and he’s on the way to Susan’s (Kat Dennings).

I had the BIGGEST crush on Kat Dennings in high school, but I wasn’t out, so I just called her one of my “favorite actresses.”
“7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)” as Otis
I bought a bunch of DVDs when my hometown Blockbuster and the Blockbuster down the street from my college went out of business in 2010. Otis was one of the DVDs I picked up. I haven’t watched it in a hot minute, but I remember all of the basics.
I matched “7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)” with Otis because Otis (Bostin Christopher) kidnaps Riley (Ashley Johnson) and plays out some high school prom fantasies, and these two lines really sold me:
“I’m not going home alone
‘Cause I don’t do too well on my own”
“Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year” as The Lost Boys
“We’re traveled like gypsies
Only with worse luck and far less gold
We’re the kids you used to love
But then we grew old”
As soon as I listened to those lyrics with my LCA ears, I screamed, “THE LOST BOYS” in the shower. I see either David (Kiefer Sutherland) or Star (Jami Gertz) singing this song to Michael (Jason Patric), which I love because it shifts the perspective. I feel like David would be singing this song to convince Michael to join them while Star would sing it while lamenting about her undead status.
“Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends” as Goodfellas
This was one the last pairings I made, but I’m truly giddy about it. First and foremost, I LOVE Goodfellas. I think it might be one of the best movies ever made, and I’m not kidding. Secondly, I LOVE the scene where Karen (Lorraine Bracco) finally goes off on Henry (Ray Liotta, RIP) in their bedroom about everything.
I can absolutely see Karen singing this song in this scene. It references the affair Henry’s been having, all of the shady things Henry’s been doing, etc…I just see this song as her breaking point.
“I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me” as Fright Night
I would like to go on record that, in my defense, I had a lot of vampires on the brain because of the iconic music video for “A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More ‘Touch Me.’” I digress.
I went with Fright Night for this one because it screams Jerry’s (Chris Sarandon) character to me. I see him singing this to Charley (William Ragsdale) while he’s trying to seduce Amy (Amanda Bearse – who, it should be noted, is a teenage girl, and it’s hella icky). Jerry sees himself as untouchable, and the scent they can’t get rid of is his vampiric curse.

Me when I was finally starting to warm up to Jacob Elordi, only to find out he’s allegedly dating Olivia Jade Giannulli (but clearly not for her rowing skills).
“A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More ‘Touch Me’” as Freaky
This is a fun one because I think it goes back and forth between Millie (Kathryn Newton) being both herself and The Butcher (Vince Vaughn). I also thought about how Booker (Uriah Shelton) always sets his watch early, and it winds up saving Millie in the end. Plus, Freaky just rules.
“Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows)” as Can’t Buy Me Love
The grip Can’t Buy Me Love had on me growing up. I wanted Cindy’s (Amanda Peterson) infamous white fringe jacket more than I can ever express. I was also totally into guys like Ronald (Patrick Dempsey) when I was growing up…and kind of still am. Moving on.
Ronald gets popular and becomes a total jerk, and Cindy, understandably, gets upset and tells a party full of people about the deal they made. I see Cindy singing this song to him either right before or right after spilling the beans. Also, please give us a Can’t Buy Me Love musical.
“XO” as Empire Records
Empire Records is one of those movies I can watch on repeat. This movie has everything. GWAR. The iconic Liv Tyler 90s outfit. A foxy Anthony LaPaglia. The works. It also has Rex Manning (Maxwell Caulfield), one of the sleaziest fictional singers in cinema history.
I see “XO” being sung from Rex Manning’s POV because he seeks the girls in the store out for nefarious reasons. I also feel like you could rearrange this song to make it poppier to match the vibes of “Say No More Mon Amour”.

You can’t tell me this car upholstery by way of Dolly Parton look isn’t serving.
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Are You CulkIN Or Are You CulkOUT?: An Ode To Macaulay, Rory, and Kieran Culkin
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping an ode to the Culkins into the ol’ VCR.
I’m going to be vulnerable for a second. I’m obsessed with the Culkins. Not in a worrying way, but more in a fascinated spectator kind of way.
Based on interviews and episodes of Macaulay’s podcast, Bunny Ears, the Culkins went through a lot over the years, and it’s so lovely to see them come out on the other side. If you didn’t tear up at Macaulay’s acceptance speech when he received his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and reunited with Catherine O’Hara, I don’t know how to help you.
I know that Macaulay became a poster child for the dangers of child acting, but I want you to think about how far he’s come. We’re not going to dive into all of the trials and tribulations he faced, but I want to give him hella praise for making it through.
However, I do want to give my boys, Macaulay, Rory, and Kieran, a little bit of screen (?) time and throw out some of my favorite movies/content they’ve been in.
And yes, I would absolutely smash any/all of them.
Moving on.
I’ve, you guessed it, divided this piece into sections for easy browsing. Could you just look at their filmographies on IMDb? Sure. But then you’d miss out on all the personalized touches, like how I openly admitted to the entire internet that I would bang these three Culkins.
Twice.
Without further ado (or discussion about smashing), here are my favorite movies and content of the brothers Culkin (well, three of them):
Macaulay Culkin* faves
- Richie Rich
- Home Alone
- Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
- The Good Son
- The Pagemaster
- Party Monster
- Saved!
- DRYVRS Ep. 1 “Just Me In The House By Myself” starring Macaulay Culkin & Jack Dishel
*I want to give an honorable mention to Macaulay’s Google commercial as well.
Rory Culkin faves
- Signs
- Scream 4
- Electrick Children
- Intruders
- Jack Goes Home
- The Last Thing Mary Saw
- Under the Banner of Heaven
Kieran Culkin* faves
- Father of the Bride
- Father of the Bride II
- She’s All That
- The Secret Lives of Altar Boys
- Scott Pilgrim vs The World
- Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

*And no, I haven’t watched Succession yet
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I Dare You To Watch This Content
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping dare-based horror into the ol’ VCR.
Friends, there was a glorious time in horror where we all decided as a society that dare-based movies were the way to go.
And honestly, I’m glad we did.
The dare-based horror genre isn’t huge, and for full transparency, there are some I haven’t watched, including either one of the Truth or Dares.
With that being said, there are only two movies and one series we’re going to focus on today. One movie I love, one movie I find entertaining, and the series is one that teeters on a teen drama, so you know we had to include it.
Without further ado, let’s dive into Cheap Thrills, Would You Rather?, and Panic.
Cheap Thrills
CW/TW: gore, gun violence, animal killing/death
I LOVE this movie, and I’m bummed to this day that I didn’t go see it at Alamo during its theatrical run. I would also be so bold as to say it’s the best entry in the dare-based horror subgenre. Also, I love seeing Sara Paxton pop up in horror. She was a gem in Shark Night, did wonderful voicework in her episode of Bleeders DIEgest, and I would love to see her do more. The entire cast is just *chef’s kiss*. If you haven’t seen this one, I can’t recommend it enough.

I would absolutely sleep with Sara Paxton to win a bunch of money, or, y’know, not.
Call me Sara.
Would You Rather?
CW/TW: su*c*d*, SA
If you haven’t seen this movie, I promise you’ve seen the cover. Netflix has a reputation for having terrible horror movies, but sometimes, like with Prime, you’ll find a diamond in the rough. Now, I’m not saying Would You Rather? is a critically acclaimed and Oscar worthy film by any means, but it’s a fun ride. If you still aren’t sold, the cast boasts the likes of horror icon Jeffrey Combs, beloved character actress June Squibb, and Ms. Amber Von Tussle 2007 herself, Brittany Snow.

Yeah, it’s THIS one.
Panic
This show combines two of my favorite things: horror and the teen drama. The TL;DR of Panic is that teens participate in increasingly dangerous stunts to win a bunch of money. As someone who grew up in small town Texas, I more than understand the allure. Panic stars one of my absolute favorite up and coming Scream Queens, Olivia Scott Welch, who you may know from the Fear Street trilogy and The Sacrifice Game. I binged this entire show on a Sunday, so it’s a great way to get rid of the Sunday Scaries.

This is the kind of guy* who sends you an intro with emojis and calls you “babe” on OkCupid.
* Before y’all come for me, I’m referring to the CHARACTER, not Ray Nicholson, but to be fair, I also don’t know his business.
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[Insert Clever Bumper Here]: The Brilliance And Absurdity Of Adult Swim Infomercials
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Adult Swim Infomercials into the ol’ VCR.
I’m sure this isn’t a surprise to anyone, but Adult Swim heavily shaped my sense of humor. In fact, Space Ghost: Coast to Coast is still one of my favorite shows of all-time. I’ve also dreamed of working at Adult Swim because not only is their marketing incredible, but their content is unmatched IMO.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a die hard fan of every single piece of content they produce, but boy howdy, do I respect it. I was initially going to do a piece dedicated to Adult Swim. But, there’s just way too much content and territory to tackle in one piece.
That’s why, my dear friends, this is the first entry in a three-part series where we’re going to break down Adult Swim Infomercials, the history of Adult Swim and the shows they’ve blessed us with over the years, and the work of Alan Resnick, both inside and outside of Adult Swim (and yes, this is just an excuse for me to talk about Space Ghost ad nauseam).
Video source: Adult Swim
So today, we’re just going to focus on the core, 32 Adult Swim Infomercials currently streaming on Max (you can also find most of them for free on YouTube, and I’ve linked them accordingly).
You may be asking, “But, Baillee, what are Adult Swim Infomercials, how did they originate, and what are your exact thoughts about the similarities between horror and comedy?”
Well, friends, you’ve come to the right place.
From what my research found, Adult Swim Infomercials became a regular part of Adult Swim’s programming in 2013, with the most recent being in 2022 with the Adult Swim Yule Log.

“Oh my god, there’s a whole movie hidden in the fireplace!”
However, it seems like they unofficially started all the way back in 2009 with David Cross and H. Jon Benjamin’s Paid Programming. Paid Programming seems to have been intended as a pilot, but Adult Swim didn’t pick it up for a series run, similar to another Infomercial we’ll discuss later.
There are also a couple of other iterations of the Adult Swim Infomercials we’ve come to know and love, including one I remember watching called Swords, Knives, Very Sharp Objects and Cutlery, and some sort of other Infomercial for the show NTSF:SD:SUV:HISS, which we’ll talk about more in our next piece.
For all intents and purposes, the most popular and well-known Adult Swim Infomercials kicked off in 2013 with Broomshakalaka, so that’s where we’re going to start in today’s piece.
The Adult Swim Infomercials deserve the spotlight for a number of reasons. First off, I’m truly blown away by all of the comedians that not only wrote, but acted in these. Some of the best comedic writers, performers, and stand ups have been involved with these short films, and it shows.

To this day, “Celery Man” makes me laugh harder than most videos on the internet.
Secondly, the Adult Swim Infomercials perfectly toe the line between horror and comedy. I’m a firm believer that horror and comedy are neighbors. Each genre serves to invoke a specific emotion from your audience, be it fear or laughter. That’s why comedians are, oftentimes, excellent horror creators, and vice versa.
Last but not least, the Adult Swim Infomercials make me wish I was either back in college so that I could write analytical essays about them, or a professor who could discuss them with my students. They’re such a wonderful case study in screenwriting, be it comedy or horror, and there’s a lot to dissect in each and every one.
Honestly, I maintain that Unedited Footage of a Bear is one of the best horror shorts I’ve ever seen with Too Many Cooks being a close second.

Okay, fine, I’ll get a Smarf tattoo.
I could spend all day writing pages about each short, but I’m not going to do that to all of you. Instead, we’ll dive more into Alan Resnick’s in this piece, and I’m going to give a couple of bullet points about each. But, I did take the time to pick my favorite 10, and I’ll throw that list out at the very end.
The only other piece of business we have to discuss are the websites listed throughout the Infomercials. Most of these websites did work at one point, but most of them are now defunct and/or redirect to the Adult Swim website, so I wouldn’t advise visiting them.
Without further ado, here is your master list of the Adult Swim Infomercials, my thoughts, and my 10 favorites.
Broomshakalaka
- The transition from the opening to the actual Infomercial made me cackle.
- I’m so sad I missed this one when it was out because it’s brilliant.
- We love a Randall Park moment.
Video source: Adult Swim
For-Profit Online University
- NICOLE BYER.
- Watching this after knowing how some online colleges operate is wild.
CW/TW: su*c*d*, gun violence
Video source: Adult Swim
Live Forever as You Are Now with Alan Resnick
We’ll revisit this short in the Alan Resnick piece, but I feel like this is a big preview of what’s to come, particularly There Are People In This House. Keep what avatars look like without skin in mind for later. That’s all I’ll say.
Video source: Adult Swim
Fartcopter
- Who is this small child with a clearly fake accent?
- The thing I really appreciate about the Adult Swim Infomercials is their ability to change the tone so quickly.
- Horror and humor are next door neighbors, and content like this proves it.
- Grammy’s letter in the intervention DESTROYED ME.
CW/TW: gun violence, images of surgical procedures
Video source: Adult Swim
The Salad Mixxxer
- First and foremost, Porcelaine is an icon (I love Betsy Sodaro).
- Secondly, the moment I saw the Salad Mixxer, I put my hand over my mouth and said, “Oh no.”
- Thirdly, I know this is just a string of vibrator, dick, and masturbation jokes, but gd it, if I didn’t laugh my ass off for most of it. However, I do feel like the beginning is stronger than the end. We GET the joke; we don’t need to see it spelled out.
Video source: Adult Swim
(Note: Alpha Chow and Goth Fitness are in the same Infomercial on Max, but are separate on YouTube)
Alpha Chow
- The line “To turn your Jack Russel into a JACKED Russell” is *chef’s kiss*.
- I would have absolutely LOVED to have been in the writers’ room for this one.
Video source: Adult Swim
Goth Fitness
- I LOVE Missi Pyle and Mike Mitchell both.
- I feel like Goth Fitness could’ve easily been on a modern sketch show.
- It’s honestly pretty tame compared to the other Infomercials, but it’s definitely still a fun ride.
Video source: Adult Swim
Too Many Cooks
- This is probably my favorite of all the Infomercials.
- Between the meta commentary, the satire, the references, and the blend of comedy and horror, this checks all of my boxes.
Video source: Adult Swim
Newbridge Tourism Board Presents: “We’re Newbridge, We’re Comin’ To Get Ya!”
- RIP Gilbert Gottfried.
- I think this one is a sleeper hit!
- This one gives big Parks and Rec vibes but with that Adult Swim stank on it.
Video source: Adult Swim
In Search of Miracle Man
- Having grown up with extremely religious grandparents who watched religious TV stations all the time, this is TOO REAL.
- Also, the traveling through history segment is too good.
Video source: Adult Swim
Smart Pipe
- I didn’t realize how prophetic some of the Adult Swim Infomercials are, and this is definitely one of them.
- Not only is this a wonderful piece of satire about parasocial relationships, our government, and data mining, but uh, at times, it’s scarily accurate.
CW/TW: they say the words “child p*rn” and “p*d*phile” but it’s satirical in nature and, in no way, is anything shown
Video source: Adult Swim
Book of Christ
- Y’ALLL.
- “Dear Bible, I’ve never told anyone this before…” sent me.
- Like In Search of Miracle Man, this was 2real4me.
CW/TW: there is a mention of Hamas in this Infomercial that might be triggering, given the current state of affairs in Palestine. Also, obviously, Free Palestine
Video source: Adult Swim
Frank Pierre Presents: Pierre Resort & Casino
- I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when they contacted Ray Wise about this.
- All of the commentary on Indigenous people and how they’re exploited within the casino and resort spaces is spot on.
CW/TW: JFK’s assassination depicted in a drawing, gore
Video source: Adult Swim
Unedited Footage of a Bear
- This is another one of my personal favorites.
- We’ll do a full breakdown of this one in the Alan Resnick piece and talk about how this connects with his other pieces of content.
- I maintain this is one of the best horror shorts of the last 10 years.
Video source: Adult Swim
This House Has People In It
- I know I keep saying this, but I can’t wait to get to the Alan Resnick piece because there’s so much to dive into here. However, I think this Infomercial holds up on its own, whether you have the additional context or not.
Video source: Adult Swim
M.O.P.Z.
- This is another Infomercial I forgot about enjoying so much.
- It has those WNUF Halloween Special vibes that I love so much.
- From a production standpoint, I think this is one of the most impressively shot Infomercials out of the bunch.
Video source: Adult Swim
Giles Vanderhoot
- This is giving BIG I Think You Should Leave vibes.
- I’ll never be disappointed at the sight of Michael Showalter because he’s a comedic genius.
- This is another one of my personal favorites.
Video source: Adult Swim
Live at the Necropolis: Lords of Synth
- This is another one that’s directed by Alan Resnick, so we’ll come back to it in his piece.
- Honestly, I’d love to see what Alan Resnick could do with a feature-length film.
- This one is really captivating.
Video source: Adult Swim
NewsHits
- God, I LOVE Mary Holland.
- There are a lot of things I like in this one, and I love the overarching story, but a couple of the jokes just need to be punched up.
Video source: Adult Swim
Mulchtown
- This feels like a more absurd episode of Documentary Now!
- This is also one of my least favorites.
CW/TW: dead animals (only clearly fake corpse of a bear, and insinuated killing of a turtle, plus talk of killing animals), and a gun being shot (it’s at a bag of carrots, and only goo and carrots come out of it)
Video source: Adult Swim
The Suplex Duplex Complex
- Okay, this one’s FUN.
- I feel like they told everyone to just have a good time on set.
Video source: Adult Swim
Wet Shapes
- I feel like this Informercial is the most Adult Swim Infomercial I’ve ever seen, and I love it.
Video source: Adult Swim
Coyote Suit
- This is another one that made me laugh out loud.
- As someone who watches things like The Great Christmas Light Fight in her spare time, the satire just got me.
- I also feel like these parents would get along really well with the crew of Flipanthropy.
Video source: Adult Swim
A Message From The Future (AKA Nuclear Political Ad and Farm to Table)
- Again, the hits just keep on coming. These satirical political ads are on point, and they keep getting better and better.
- The Brain one is my fave.
- Like Smart Pipe, this just hits different in 2023.
Video source: Adult Swim
Cool Dad
- This one is next level.
- The plant trailer is the BEST.
- The deconstruction of the 90s bad dad trope is magnificent.
- I need to watch Liar, Liar now.
Video source: Adult Swim
Final Deployment 4: Queen Battle Walkthrough
- Big Inside vibes.
- As someone who watches A LOT of YouTube, this is painfully accurate.
- I never thought I’d say this, but it gets a little too meta.
CW/TW: gun violence, su*c*d*l ideation
Video source: Adult Swim
Food: The Source of Life
- Okay, I know this about a carrot that has been used in a variety of horrific and, uh, innovative ways, but I was enthralled the entire time.
- I feel like this could’ve been a Stephen King short story from his coke days.
Video source: Greg Hess’s Vimeo
Pervert Everything
- I think it’s very telling that this is only one of three Infomercials I don’t really like.
- I like a lot of weird things and abstract art, but this one just didn’t hit for me like the others have.
Video source: Alec Lambert’s Vimeo
Flayaway
- Okay, as soon as I saw Sarah Squirm (aka Sarah Sherman), I knew we were in for a weird time.
- I was still down to clown though. 🤷
- It’s like Mr. Meaty by the way of Tim and Eric.
- I’ll shoot you straight — it’s a lot. Just know that going in.
Video source: Adult Swim
When Panties Fly
- A fun fact about me is that I HATE the word “panties.” I’ll say underwear, boxers, underpants (a la Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World), but I HATE the word “panties.”
- But, like Pervert Everything, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this one.
Video source: Adult Swim
Piggy
- The Fast and Furious scene made me laugh really hard.
- This one isn’t my favorite, but it’s watchable.
CW/TW: gun violence
Note: I can’t find the video for this one anywhere outside of Max.
Skeleton Landlord
- Outside of the excessive cum jokes at the beginning, I actually enjoyed this one.
- Tbh, I’d watch a full series of this.
- Update: It looks like this was actually supposed to be a pilot but never went beyond Infomercials/the Development Meeting pitch.
Video source: Adult Swim
Wormholes
- As someone who works in marketing and also suffers from insomnia, anxiety, and depression, this was so relatable; I’ll go down rabbit holes like no one’s business.
CW/TW: su*c*d*l ideation
Video source: Benjamin Berman’s Vimeo
My Favorite Adult Swim Infomercials
Okay, I know 32 is a big number. I also know everyone isn’t as dedicated to the world of pop culture as I am, so I wanted to give you a place to start. I feel like these 10 Infomercials really represent the heart and soul of the Adult Swim Infomercial, and if you don’t like these, this might not be the content for you.
- Too Many Cooks
- Newbridge Tourism Board Presents: “We’re Newbridge, We’re Comin’ To Get Ya!”
- Unedited Footage of a Bear
- This House Has People In It
- M.O.P.Z.
- Giles Vanderhoot
- Wet Shapes
- Coyote Suit
- Cool Dad
- Skeleton Landlord
-
Giving Credits Where Credits Are Due: The Art Of The Horror Cold Open
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping horror cold opens into the ol’ VCR.
One of my favorite parts of horror is the cold open. We open on our group of sacrificial teens. This group usually doesn’t make it past the opening credits, but they help establish our villain or important plot details that will come back later.
We all know that the Scream franchise has the best cold opens. From Drew Barrymore and her Jiffy Pop to, most recently, Samara Weaving meeting her doom in a dark alleyway. No one does ‘em better.
However, there are still some worthy mentions.
For example, the opening of Fear Street Part One: 1994. It’s definitely an homage to Scream, but boy howdy, is it a good one. Maya Hawke is a wonderful Scream Queen, and the entire chase scene is just *chef’s kiss*.

When the sinus pressure hits.
In a similar vein, we have Freaky. The opening of Freaky gives us just enough exposition to avoid a lengthy scene later on, but it doesn’t ruin the fun of the movie. It’s also the epitome of the sacrificial teen sequence.
Next up, we have It Follows. While Freaky lays the groundwork for our villain, It Follows does the opposite. We’re thrown straight into the action. We can’t see what the character sees, so we have no idea why she’s running. Cold opens can be risky, but in the case of It Follows, It Pays Off.
The last cold open I want to touch on is Scare Package. It shouldn’t be a secret that I love meta commentary and meta horror movies in general. That’s why I was DELIGHTED when Scare Package came out, and I saw the opening segment. I know that Cabin in the Woods had played on the idea of planting Harbingers of Doom, but Scare Package took it to the next level.

Mfw I walk into a room and immediately forget what I needed
Imagine the real estate agent who sold you the haunted house, the security guy who assured you the electricity was fixed, and everyone else you interacted with was a plant. In fact, this was their career. Now imagine that one of these people wanted to start saving victims, only to make a bigger mess. It’s too good.
Creating the perfect cold open is an artform. You have to hook your audience from the start, and there isn’t much leeway. When done correctly, it’s memorable at worst and is the indication of a wonderful film to come at best.
Scream’s cold open is one of the most iconic horror scenes of all time, and continuing cold opens throughout the franchise has only added to its incredible quality control. Scream also set the precedent for the likes of Freaky, It Follows, and Scare Package. The cold open is a treasure to the horror genre, and honestly, movies in general, and although it might be called a cold open, it sure does warm my heart.
And yeah, I regretted writing that as soon as I finished typing it out.
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Connect The Dotties: Not Your Normal Kids Show Has A Lot To Hide
Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Not Your Normal Kids Show into the ol’ VCR.
I know, I know. I’m late to the game on this one. That’s the unfortunate downside of planning out our content in advance. Additionally, I wanted a few more episodes of Not Your Normal Kids Show to come out before fully diving in.
And honestly, I’m really glad I did.
Not Your Normal Kids Show is so rad, and it warrants a variation of a famous phrase that will one day go on our merch, “YouTube and TikTok are the future of horror.”
Seriously.
The horror content we’re seeing on YouTube and TikTok is NEXT LEVEL, and as I’ve said before, Talk to Me is a testimonial to how YouTube creators can adapt from short content to feature films.
Video source: Beeveekee
If you haven’t heard of Not Your Normal Kids Show, don’t fear. That’s exactly what I’m here for.
Originating on TikTok from creator Beeveekee, Not Your Normal Kids Show is hosted by Dottie and features a cavalcade of interesting creatures like The Tall Man, Mother, and other…entities.
Pretty straightforward, right?
Only…Dottie appears to be a demon of some kind, Mother isn’t quite right, we’ve never seen The Tall Man’s face, and those other entities may be mutated human beings. Again, that’s exactly why I’m here.
I’m not going to go episode by episode because the installments are very short. Beeveekee has also uploaded them to YouTube, as well as TikTok, and, well, sometimes I don’t think it’s fair that I get to have all the fun.
But, I’ll lay a good foundation for you to get started and throw out some of my theories at the end for kicks and gigs.
Video source: Beeveekee
From the very beginning, it’s clear that Dottie’s universe isn’t as sunny and bubbly as it appears to be. She receives a call, and when she picks it up, a totally normal and not at all alarming voice tells her that she “didn’t close the curtains completely,” and asks, “why [she doesn’t] open the door.”
It’s also super important to note that Dottie’s eyes go from black to white when she’s on the phone, as this is a common theme throughout the series. I’ll give you my theory on this a bit later.
Throughout the series, we’re met with multiple glitches, the horror ARG crowd favorites of distorted audio and video, and secret messages that seem to call Dottie a “liar” and “manipulator.”
Video source: Beeveekee
The show also seems to start “early” in a few episodes. We catch Dottie planting body parts (no, actually planting, like in a pot), and we notice that Dottie seems to have some sort of face attached to the back of her head, a la Gabriel in Malignant. Speaking of appearances, we seem to catch glimpses of Dottie’s “true” form throughout the series as well, and, folks, it ain’t pretty.
One cool touch I’d like to highlight is Beeveekee integrated herself into the story by adding some cool little lore to the end of other TikToks that show her facing The Tall Man “IRL.”
As we learn more about Dottie, you’ll notice the intro font transforming as more is revealed to represent us peeling back the layers of this “children’s show” (I can’t tell you the last time I used this many quotation marks in a piece).
I know I said that I’m not going to go episode by episode, and I’m not. BUT, I do want to call your attention to Episode 7. At the beginning of the episode, Dottie is standing in front of a chalkboard that says, “ABCD = 1234.” If you pay close attention, there are a couple of messages to decipher. 👀
Video source: Beeveekee
My theories about Not Your Normal Kids Show
Alrighty, I feel like we have enough context to get into my theories that I will try to keep as spoiler free as possible.
First and foremost, I think Dottie’s eyes are extremely telling. I believe the black eyes represent the “nice” Dottie while the white eyes are the “evil” Dottie. I do believe she’s some sort of demonic entity, and the black eyes are an illusion of sorts and represent her attempting to look human. In other words, I think these are her interpretations of pupils. I also think her eyes turn white when she’s trying to control those and the environment around her.
This is also why she has two literal faces. I think the face on the back of her head is either her true form, or it’s the demonic part of herself, and she’s literally putting her best face forward.
Secondly, I believe all of the creatures in the series are humans that she and The Tall Man have captured. I think that’s why we’re being warned to avoid this show. It sucks viewers in and then abducts them from their homes.

How tall men say they are vs their actual height (we stan short kings – no shame here).
I also think The Tall Man is inspired by The Giant in Twin Peaks, as The Giant gives Cooper clues to help solve Laura Palmer’s murder. I believe The Tall Man might be giving us clues to what’s actually happening. The only time The Tall Man negatively interacts with another creature in the world, Dottie’s eyes shift to white, which I believe means he’s being possessed/controlled by Dottie.
Last but not least, I believe some of the glitches we see are Dottie losing control over her environment. Not Your Normal Kids Show is a glamor of sorts, but I don’t think she’s powerful enough to keep the facade up on her own. I do think someone is trying to hack into the system as well. But, I do think that Dottie can’t fully hide her reality from us, so there are times when we see behind the curtain like the caller in Episode One alludes to.
Video source: Beeveekee
Currently sitting at 15 episodes, Not Your Normal Kids Show has piqued my interest from the first episode. There’s a lot of really cool potential here, and Beeveekee has given herself several different avenues to explore. Are we seeing a broadcast from Hell? Is Dottie actually innocent in this endeavor? Does Mother care for wire hangers?
Right now, we have a lot more questions than answers, but I think Beeveekee is doing a bang-up job so far. I’d also recommend the new series she’s doing called Detective You. It’s extremely reminiscent of detective computer games and the “Mugshots” segment from Crashbox. I think she’s extremely talented, and I can’t wait for more episodes of both of the series, as well as her future content.
Go subscribe to Beeveekee’s channel and like her videos.
And remember, don’t open the door to strangers.
