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  • What’s On? – A Master Content Calendar For Your Bookmarks

    Note: Check back for updates as new content is announced!

    January 2026

    January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

    January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

    January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

    January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

    January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

    January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

    January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

    January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

    January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

    January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

    January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

    January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

    January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

    January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

    January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

    January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

    January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

    January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

    February 2026

    February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

    February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

    February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

    February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

    February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

    February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

    February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

    February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

    February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

    February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

    February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

    February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

    March 2026

    March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

    March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

    March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

    March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

    March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

    March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

    March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

    March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

    March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

    April 2026

    April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

    April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

    April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

    April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

    April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

    April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

    May 2026

    May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

    May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

    May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

    May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

    June 2026

    June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

    June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

    July 2026

    July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

    July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

    August 2026

    August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

    August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

    August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

    September 2026

    September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

    September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

    September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

    September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

    October 2026

    October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

    October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

    October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

    October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

    October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

    November 2026

    November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

    December 2026

    December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

    December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

    December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

  • Are You CulkIN Or Are You CulkOUT?: An Ode To Macaulay, Rory, and Kieran Culkin

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping an ode to the Culkins into the ol’ VCR. 

    I’m going to be vulnerable for a second. I’m obsessed with the Culkins. Not in a worrying way, but more in a fascinated spectator kind of way. 

    Based on interviews and episodes of Macaulay’s podcast, Bunny Ears, the Culkins went through a lot over the years, and it’s so lovely to see them come out on the other side. If you didn’t tear up at Macaulay’s acceptance speech when he received his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and reunited with Catherine O’Hara, I don’t know how to help you. 

    I know that Macaulay became a poster child for the dangers of child acting, but I want you to think about how far he’s come. We’re not going to dive into all of the trials and tribulations he faced, but I want to give him hella praise for making it through. 

    However, I do want to give my boys, Macaulay, Rory, and Kieran, a little bit of screen (?) time and throw out some of my favorite movies/content they’ve been in. 

    And yes, I would absolutely smash any/all of them. 

    Moving on. 

    I’ve, you guessed it, divided this piece into sections for easy browsing. Could you just look at their filmographies on IMDb? Sure. But then you’d miss out on all the personalized touches, like how I openly admitted to the entire internet that I would bang these three Culkins. 

    Twice. 

    Without further ado (or discussion about smashing), here are my favorite movies and content of the brothers Culkin (well, three of them): 

    Macaulay Culkin* faves 

    *I want to give an honorable mention to Macaulay’s Google commercial as well. 

    Rory Culkin faves 

    Kieran Culkin* faves 

    • Father of the Bride 
    • Father of the Bride II
    • She’s All That 
    • The Secret Lives of Altar Boys
    • Scott Pilgrim vs The World 
    • Scott Pilgrim Takes Off 

    *And no, I haven’t watched Succession yet

  • I Dare You To Watch This Content

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping dare-based horror into the ol’ VCR. 

    Friends, there was a glorious time in horror where we all decided as a society that dare-based movies were the way to go. 

    And honestly, I’m glad we did. 

    The dare-based horror genre isn’t huge, and for full transparency, there are some I haven’t watched, including either one of the Truth or Dares. 

    With that being said, there are only two movies and one series we’re going to focus on today. One movie I love, one movie I find entertaining, and the series is one that teeters on a teen drama, so you know we had to include it. 

    Without further ado, let’s dive into Cheap Thrills, Would You Rather?, and Panic. 

    Cheap Thrills 

    CW/TW: gore, gun violence, animal killing/death 

    I LOVE this movie, and I’m bummed to this day that I didn’t go see it at Alamo during its theatrical run. I would also be so bold as to say it’s the best entry in the dare-based horror subgenre. Also, I love seeing Sara Paxton pop up in horror. She was a gem in Shark Night, did wonderful voicework in her episode of Bleeders DIEgest, and I would love to see her do more. The entire cast is just *chef’s kiss*. If you haven’t seen this one, I can’t recommend it enough. 

    I would absolutely sleep with Sara Paxton to win a bunch of money, or, y’know, not. 

    Call me Sara. 

    Would You Rather?

    CW/TW: su*c*d*, SA

    If you haven’t seen this movie, I promise you’ve seen the cover. Netflix has a reputation for having terrible horror movies, but sometimes, like with Prime, you’ll find a diamond in the rough. Now, I’m not saying Would You Rather? is a critically acclaimed and Oscar worthy film by any means, but it’s a fun ride. If you still aren’t sold, the cast boasts the likes of horror icon Jeffrey Combs, beloved character actress June Squibb, and Ms. Amber Von Tussle 2007 herself, Brittany Snow. 

    Yeah, it’s THIS one. 

    Panic 

    This show combines two of my favorite things: horror and the teen drama. The TL;DR of Panic is that teens participate in increasingly dangerous stunts to win a bunch of money. As someone who grew up in small town Texas, I more than understand the allure. Panic stars one of my absolute favorite up and coming Scream Queens, Olivia Scott Welch, who you may know from the Fear Street trilogy and The Sacrifice Game. I binged this entire show on a Sunday, so it’s a great way to get rid of the Sunday Scaries. 

    This is the kind of guy* who sends you an intro with emojis and calls you “babe” on OkCupid. 

    * Before y’all come for me, I’m referring to the CHARACTER, not Ray Nicholson, but to be fair, I also don’t know his business.

  • [Insert Clever Bumper Here]: The Brilliance And Absurdity Of Adult Swim Infomercials

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Adult Swim Infomercials into the ol’ VCR. 

    I’m sure this isn’t a surprise to anyone, but Adult Swim heavily shaped my sense of humor. In fact, Space Ghost: Coast to Coast is still one of my favorite shows of all-time. I’ve also dreamed of working at Adult Swim because not only is their marketing incredible, but their content is unmatched IMO. 

    Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a die hard fan of every single piece of content they produce, but boy howdy, do I respect it. I was initially going to do a piece dedicated to Adult Swim. But, there’s just way too much content and territory to tackle in one piece. 

    That’s why, my dear friends, this is the first entry in a three-part series where we’re going to break down Adult Swim Infomercials, the history of Adult Swim and the shows they’ve blessed us with over the years, and the work of Alan Resnick, both inside and outside of Adult Swim (and yes, this is just an excuse for me to talk about Space Ghost ad nauseam). 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    So today, we’re just going to focus on the core, 32 Adult Swim Infomercials currently streaming on Max (you can also find most of them for free on YouTube, and I’ve linked them accordingly). 

    You may be asking, “But, Baillee, what are Adult Swim Infomercials, how did they originate, and what are your exact thoughts about the similarities between horror and comedy?”

    Well, friends, you’ve come to the right place. 

    From what my research found, Adult Swim Infomercials became a regular part of Adult Swim’s programming in 2013, with the most recent being in 2022 with the Adult Swim Yule Log.

    “Oh my god, there’s a whole movie hidden in the fireplace!” 

    However, it seems like they unofficially started all the way back in 2009 with David Cross and H. Jon Benjamin’s Paid Programming. Paid Programming seems to have been intended as a pilot, but Adult Swim didn’t pick it up for a series run, similar to another Infomercial we’ll discuss later. 

    There are also a couple of other iterations of the Adult Swim Infomercials we’ve come to know and love, including one I remember watching called Swords, Knives, Very Sharp Objects and Cutlery, and some sort of other Infomercial for the show NTSF:SD:SUV:HISS, which we’ll talk about more in our next piece. 

    For all intents and purposes, the most popular and well-known Adult Swim Infomercials kicked off in 2013 with Broomshakalaka, so that’s where we’re going to start in today’s piece. 

    The Adult Swim Infomercials deserve the spotlight for a number of reasons. First off, I’m truly blown away by all of the comedians that not only wrote, but acted in these. Some of the best comedic writers, performers, and stand ups have been involved with these short films, and it shows. 

    To this day, “Celery Man” makes me laugh harder than most videos on the internet. 

    Secondly, the Adult Swim Infomercials perfectly toe the line between horror and comedy. I’m a firm believer that horror and comedy are neighbors. Each genre serves to invoke a specific emotion from your audience, be it fear or laughter. That’s why comedians are, oftentimes, excellent horror creators, and vice versa. 

    Last but not least, the Adult Swim Infomercials make me wish I was either back in college so that I could write analytical essays about them, or a professor who could discuss them with my students. They’re such a wonderful case study in screenwriting, be it comedy or horror, and there’s a lot to dissect in each and every one. 

    Honestly, I maintain that Unedited Footage of a Bear is one of the best horror shorts I’ve ever seen with Too Many Cooks being a close second. 

    Okay, fine, I’ll get a Smarf tattoo.

    I could spend all day writing pages about each short, but I’m not going to do that to all of you. Instead, we’ll dive more into Alan Resnick’s in this piece, and I’m going to give a couple of bullet points about each. But, I did take the time to pick my favorite 10, and I’ll throw that list out at the very end. 

    The only other piece of business we have to discuss are the websites listed throughout the Infomercials. Most of these websites did work at one point, but most of them are now defunct and/or redirect to the Adult Swim website, so I wouldn’t advise visiting them. 

    Without further ado, here is your master list of the Adult Swim Infomercials, my thoughts, and my 10 favorites. 

    Broomshakalaka

    • The transition from the opening to the actual Infomercial made me cackle. 
    • I’m so sad I missed this one when it was out because it’s brilliant. 
    • We love a Randall Park moment. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    For-Profit Online University 

    • NICOLE BYER. 
    • Watching this after knowing how some online colleges operate is wild. 

    CW/TW: su*c*d*, gun violence 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Live Forever as You Are Now with Alan Resnick 

    We’ll revisit this short in the Alan Resnick piece, but I feel like this is a big preview of what’s to come, particularly There Are People In This House. Keep what avatars look like without skin in mind for later. That’s all I’ll say. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Fartcopter 

    • Who is this small child with a clearly fake accent?
    • The thing I really appreciate about the Adult Swim Infomercials is their ability to change the tone so quickly. 
    • Horror and humor are next door neighbors, and content like this proves it. 
    • Grammy’s letter in the intervention DESTROYED ME. 

    CW/TW: gun violence, images of surgical procedures 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    The Salad Mixxxer 

    • First and foremost, Porcelaine is an icon (I love Betsy Sodaro). 
    • Secondly, the moment I saw the Salad Mixxer, I put my hand over my mouth and said, “Oh no.” 
    • Thirdly, I know this is just a string of vibrator, dick, and masturbation jokes, but gd it, if I didn’t laugh my ass off for most of it. However, I do feel like the beginning is stronger than the end. We GET the joke; we don’t need to see it spelled out. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    (Note: Alpha Chow and Goth Fitness are in the same Infomercial on Max, but are separate on YouTube) 

    Alpha Chow

    • The line “To turn your Jack Russel into a JACKED Russell” is *chef’s kiss*. 
    • I would have absolutely LOVED to have been in the writers’ room for this one. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Goth Fitness

    • I LOVE Missi Pyle and Mike Mitchell both. 
    • I feel like Goth Fitness could’ve easily been on a modern sketch show. 
    • It’s honestly pretty tame compared to the other Infomercials, but it’s definitely still a fun ride. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Too Many Cooks 

    • This is probably my favorite of all the Infomercials. 
    • Between the meta commentary, the satire, the references, and the blend of comedy and horror, this checks all of my boxes. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Newbridge Tourism Board Presents: “We’re Newbridge, We’re Comin’ To Get Ya!”

    • RIP Gilbert Gottfried. 
    • I think this one is a sleeper hit! 
    • This one gives big Parks and Rec vibes but with that Adult Swim stank on it. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    In Search of Miracle Man 

    • Having grown up with extremely religious grandparents who watched religious TV stations all the time, this is TOO REAL. 
    • Also, the traveling through history segment is too good. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Smart Pipe 

    • I didn’t realize how prophetic some of the Adult Swim Infomercials are, and this is definitely one of them. 
    • Not only is this a wonderful piece of satire about parasocial relationships, our government, and data mining, but uh, at times, it’s scarily accurate. 

    CW/TW: they say the words “child p*rn” and “p*d*phile” but it’s satirical in nature and, in no way, is anything shown 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Book of Christ 

    • Y’ALLL. 
    • “Dear Bible, I’ve never told anyone this before…” sent me. 
    • Like In Search of Miracle Man, this was 2real4me. 

    CW/TW: there is a mention of Hamas in this Infomercial that might be triggering, given the current state of affairs in Palestine. Also, obviously, Free Palestine 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Frank Pierre Presents: Pierre Resort & Casino 

    • I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when they contacted Ray Wise about this.  
    • All of the commentary on Indigenous people and how they’re exploited within the casino and resort spaces is spot on. 

    CW/TW: JFK’s assassination depicted in a drawing, gore 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Unedited Footage of a Bear 

    • This is another one of my personal favorites. 
    • We’ll do a full breakdown of this one in the Alan Resnick piece and talk about how this connects with his other pieces of content.
    • I maintain this is one of the best horror shorts of the last 10 years. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    This House Has People In It 

    • I know I keep saying this, but I can’t wait to get to the Alan Resnick piece because there’s so much to dive into here. However, I think this Infomercial holds up on its own, whether you have the additional context or not. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    M.O.P.Z. 

    • This is another Infomercial I forgot about enjoying so much. 
    • It has those WNUF Halloween Special vibes that I love so much. 
    • From a production standpoint, I think this is one of the most impressively shot Infomercials out of the bunch. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Giles Vanderhoot 

    • This is giving BIG I Think You Should Leave vibes. 
    • I’ll never be disappointed at the sight of  Michael Showalter because he’s a comedic genius. 
    • This is another one of my personal favorites. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Live at the Necropolis: Lords of Synth 

    • This is another one that’s directed by Alan Resnick, so we’ll come back to it in his piece.  
    • Honestly, I’d love to see what Alan Resnick could do with a feature-length film.  
    • This one is really captivating. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    NewsHits 

    • God, I LOVE Mary Holland. 
    • There are a lot of things I like in this one, and I love the overarching story, but a couple of the jokes just need to be punched up. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

     Mulchtown 

    • This feels like a more absurd episode of Documentary Now! 
    • This is also one of my least favorites. 

    CW/TW: dead animals (only clearly fake corpse of a bear, and insinuated killing of a turtle, plus talk of killing animals), and a gun being shot (it’s at a bag of carrots, and only goo and carrots come out of it)

    Video source: Adult Swim

    The Suplex Duplex Complex 

    • Okay, this one’s FUN. 
    • I feel like they told everyone to just have a good time on set. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Wet Shapes 

    • I feel like this Informercial is the most Adult Swim Infomercial I’ve ever seen, and I love it. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Coyote Suit 

    • This is another one that made me laugh out loud.  
    • As someone who watches things like The Great Christmas Light Fight in her spare time, the satire just got me. 
    • I also feel like these parents would get along really well with the crew of Flipanthropy. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    A Message From The Future (AKA Nuclear Political Ad and Farm to Table) 

    • Again, the hits just keep on coming. These satirical political ads are on point, and they keep getting better and better. 
    • The Brain one is my fave. 
    • Like Smart Pipe, this just hits different in 2023. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Cool Dad

    • This one is next level. 
    • The plant trailer is the BEST. 
    • The deconstruction of the 90s bad dad trope is magnificent.  
    • I need to watch Liar, Liar now. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Final Deployment 4: Queen Battle Walkthrough 

    • Big Inside vibes. 
    • As someone who watches A LOT of YouTube, this is painfully accurate. 
    • I never thought I’d say this, but it gets a little too meta. 

    CW/TW: gun violence, su*c*d*l ideation

    Video source: Adult Swim

     Food: The Source of Life 

    • Okay, I know this about a carrot that has been used in a variety of horrific and, uh, innovative ways, but I was enthralled the entire time.
    • I feel like this could’ve been a Stephen King short story from his coke days. 

    Video source: Greg Hess’s Vimeo

    Pervert Everything 

    • I think it’s very telling that this is only one of three Infomercials I don’t really like. 
    • I like a lot of weird things and abstract art, but this one just didn’t hit for me like the others have. 

    Video source: Alec Lambert’s Vimeo

    Flayaway 

    • Okay, as soon as I saw Sarah Squirm (aka Sarah Sherman), I knew we were in for a weird time. 
    • I was still down to clown though. 🤷
    • It’s like Mr. Meaty by the way of Tim and Eric. 
    • I’ll shoot you straight — it’s a lot. Just know that going in. 

    Video source: Adult Swim

    When Panties Fly 

    • A fun fact about me is that I HATE the word “panties.” I’ll say underwear, boxers, underpants (a la Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World), but I HATE the word “panties.”
    • But, like Pervert Everything, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this one.

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Piggy 

    • The Fast and Furious scene made me laugh really hard. 
    • This one isn’t my favorite, but it’s watchable. 

    CW/TW: gun violence 

    Note: I can’t find the video for this one anywhere outside of Max. 

    Skeleton Landlord 

    • Outside of the excessive cum jokes at the beginning, I actually enjoyed this one. 
    • Tbh, I’d watch a full series of this. 
    • Update: It looks like this was actually supposed to be a pilot but never went beyond Infomercials/the Development Meeting pitch.

    Video source: Adult Swim

    Wormholes 

    • As someone who works in marketing and also suffers from insomnia, anxiety, and depression, this was so relatable; I’ll go down rabbit holes like no one’s business. 

    CW/TW: su*c*d*l ideation 

    Video source: Benjamin Berman’s Vimeo

    My Favorite Adult Swim Infomercials 

    Okay, I know 32 is a big number. I also know everyone isn’t as dedicated to the world of pop culture as I am, so I wanted to give you a place to start. I feel like these 10 Infomercials really represent the heart and soul of the Adult Swim Infomercial, and if you don’t like these, this might not be the content for you. 

    • Too Many Cooks 
    • Newbridge Tourism Board Presents: “We’re Newbridge, We’re Comin’ To Get Ya!”
    • Unedited Footage of a Bear 
    • This House Has People In It 
    • M.O.P.Z. 
    • Giles Vanderhoot 
    • Wet Shapes 
    • Coyote Suit 
    • Cool Dad
    • Skeleton Landlord

  • Giving Credits Where Credits Are Due: The Art Of The Horror Cold Open

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping horror cold opens into the ol’ VCR. 

    One of my favorite parts of horror is the cold open. We open on our group of sacrificial teens. This group usually doesn’t make it past the opening credits, but they help establish our villain or important plot details that will come back later. 

    We all know that the Scream franchise has the best cold opens. From Drew Barrymore and her Jiffy Pop to, most recently, Samara Weaving meeting her doom in a dark alleyway. No one does ‘em better. 

    However, there are still some worthy mentions. 

    For example, the opening of Fear Street Part One: 1994. It’s definitely an homage to Scream, but boy howdy, is it a good one. Maya Hawke is a wonderful Scream Queen, and the entire chase scene is just *chef’s kiss*. 

    When the sinus pressure hits. 

    In a similar vein, we have Freaky. The opening of Freaky gives us just enough exposition to avoid a lengthy scene later on, but it doesn’t ruin the fun of the movie. It’s also the epitome of the sacrificial teen sequence. 

    Next up, we have It Follows. While Freaky lays the groundwork for our villain, It Follows does the opposite. We’re thrown straight into the action. We can’t see what the character sees, so we have no idea why she’s running. Cold opens can be risky, but in the case of It Follows, It Pays Off. 

    The last cold open I want to touch on is Scare Package. It shouldn’t be a secret that I love meta commentary and meta horror movies in general. That’s why I was DELIGHTED when Scare Package came out, and I saw the opening segment. I know that Cabin in the Woods had played on the idea of planting Harbingers of Doom, but Scare Package took it to the next level. 

    Mfw I walk into a room and immediately forget what I needed 

    Imagine the real estate agent who sold you the haunted house, the security guy who assured you the electricity was fixed, and everyone else you interacted with was a plant. In fact, this was their career. Now imagine that one of these people wanted to start saving victims, only to make a bigger mess. It’s too good. 

    Creating the perfect cold open is an artform. You have to hook your audience from the start, and there isn’t much leeway. When done correctly, it’s memorable at worst and is the indication of a wonderful film to come at best. 

    Scream’s cold open is one of the most iconic horror scenes of all time, and continuing cold opens throughout the franchise has only added to its incredible quality control. Scream also set the precedent for the likes of Freaky, It Follows, and Scare Package. The cold open is a treasure to the horror genre, and honestly, movies in general, and although it might be called a cold open, it sure does warm my heart. 

    And yeah, I regretted writing that as soon as I finished typing it out.

  • Connect The Dotties: Not Your Normal Kids Show Has A Lot To Hide

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Not Your Normal Kids Show into the ol’ VCR. 

    I know, I know. I’m late to the game on this one. That’s the unfortunate downside of planning out our content in advance. Additionally, I wanted a few more episodes of Not Your Normal Kids Show to come out before fully diving in. 

    And honestly, I’m really glad I did. 

    Not Your Normal Kids Show is so rad, and it warrants a variation of a famous phrase that will one day go on our merch, “YouTube and TikTok are the future of horror.” 

    Seriously. 

    The horror content we’re seeing on YouTube and TikTok is NEXT LEVEL, and as I’ve said before, Talk to Me is a testimonial to how YouTube creators can adapt from short content to feature films. 

    Video source: Beeveekee

    If you haven’t heard of Not Your Normal Kids Show, don’t fear. That’s exactly what I’m here for. 

    Originating on TikTok from creator Beeveekee, Not Your Normal Kids Show is hosted by Dottie and features a cavalcade of interesting creatures like The Tall Man, Mother, and other…entities. 

    Pretty straightforward, right?

    Only…Dottie appears to be a demon of some kind, Mother isn’t quite right, we’ve never seen The Tall Man’s face, and those other entities may be mutated human beings. Again, that’s exactly why I’m here. 

    I’m not going to go episode by episode because the installments are very short. Beeveekee has also uploaded them to YouTube, as well as TikTok, and, well, sometimes I don’t think it’s fair that I get to have all the fun. 

    But, I’ll lay a good foundation for you to get started and throw out some of my theories at the end for kicks and gigs. 

    Video source: Beeveekee

    From the very beginning, it’s clear that Dottie’s universe isn’t as sunny and bubbly as it appears to be. She receives a call, and when she picks it up, a totally normal and not at all alarming voice tells her that she “didn’t close the curtains completely,” and asks, “why [she doesn’t] open the door.” 

    It’s also super important to note that Dottie’s eyes go from black to white when she’s on the phone, as this is a common theme throughout the series. I’ll give you my theory on this a bit later. 

    Throughout the series, we’re met with multiple glitches, the horror ARG crowd favorites of distorted audio and video, and secret messages that seem to call Dottie a “liar” and “manipulator.” 

    Video source: Beeveekee

    The show also seems to start “early” in a few episodes. We catch Dottie planting body parts (no, actually planting, like in a pot), and we notice that Dottie seems to have some sort of face attached to the back of her head, a la Gabriel in Malignant. Speaking of appearances, we seem to catch glimpses of Dottie’s “true” form throughout the series as well, and, folks, it ain’t pretty. 

    One cool touch I’d like to highlight is Beeveekee integrated herself into the story by adding some cool little lore to the end of other TikToks that show her facing The Tall Man “IRL.” 

    As we learn more about Dottie, you’ll notice the intro font transforming as more is revealed to represent us peeling back the layers of this “children’s show” (I can’t tell you the last time I used this many quotation marks in a piece). 

    I know I said that I’m not going to go episode by episode, and I’m not. BUT, I do want to call your attention to Episode 7. At the beginning of the episode, Dottie is standing in front of a chalkboard that says, “ABCD = 1234.” If you pay close attention, there are a couple of messages to decipher. 👀

    Video source: Beeveekee

    My theories about Not Your Normal Kids Show 

    Alrighty, I feel like we have enough context to get into my theories that I will try to keep as spoiler free as possible. 

    First and foremost, I think Dottie’s eyes are extremely telling. I believe the black eyes represent the “nice” Dottie while the white eyes are the “evil” Dottie. I do believe she’s some sort of demonic entity, and the black eyes are an illusion of sorts and represent her attempting to look human. In other words, I think these are her interpretations of pupils. I also think her eyes turn white when she’s trying to control those and the environment around her. 

    This is also why she has two literal faces. I think the face on the back of her head is either her true form, or it’s the demonic part of herself, and she’s literally putting her best face forward. 

    Secondly, I believe all of the creatures in the series are humans that she and The Tall Man have captured. I think that’s why we’re being warned to avoid this show. It sucks viewers in and then abducts them from their homes. 

    How tall men say they are vs their actual height (we stan short kings – no shame here). 

    I also think The Tall Man is inspired by The Giant in Twin Peaks, as The Giant gives Cooper clues to help solve Laura Palmer’s murder. I believe The Tall Man might be giving us clues to what’s actually happening. The only time The Tall Man negatively interacts with another creature in the world, Dottie’s eyes shift to white, which I believe means he’s being possessed/controlled by Dottie. 

    Last but not least, I believe some of the glitches we see are Dottie losing control over her environment. Not Your Normal Kids Show is a glamor of sorts, but I don’t think she’s powerful enough to keep the facade up on her own. I do think someone is trying to hack into the system as well. But, I do think that Dottie can’t fully hide her reality from us, so there are times when we see behind the curtain like the caller in Episode One alludes to. 

    Video source: Beeveekee

    Currently sitting at 15 episodes, Not Your Normal Kids Show has piqued my interest from the first episode. There’s a lot of really cool potential here, and Beeveekee has given herself several different avenues to explore. Are we seeing a broadcast from Hell? Is Dottie actually innocent in this endeavor? Does Mother care for wire hangers? 

    Right now, we have a lot more questions than answers, but I think Beeveekee is doing a bang-up job so far. I’d also recommend the new series she’s doing called Detective You. It’s extremely reminiscent of detective computer games and the “Mugshots” segment from Crashbox. I think she’s extremely talented, and I can’t wait for more episodes of both of the series, as well as her future content. 

    Go subscribe to Beeveekee’s channel and like her videos. 

    And remember, don’t open the door to strangers.

  • I Ain’t ‘Fraid Of No Ghosts (But Really): The Horror Scenes That Bother Me

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the horror scenes that bother me into the ol’ VCR. 

    When it comes to horror, I have a pretty strong stomach. It’s very rare that I jump or avert my eyes during a horror movie, and my friends can vouch for me. In fact, there have even been times in the past where friends chose to sit next to me in group settings because I’m a rock. 

    However, I regret to inform you all that there are a handful of horror scenes that I’m even bothered by. I think this list may surprise many of you, but it’s the truth. These scenes either make my skin crawl, make me queasy, or just simply bother me. 

    This piece is probably going to be another exercise in showing that my brain works in mysterious ways. But hey, I’m just being Miley. 

    Also, I’m OBVIOUSLY not going to show pictures of these different scenes and trigger myself. Instead, I’ve included links to each movie’s trailer, with the exception of one. This way, we can still break up the monotony without making me feel icky. 

    Without further ado, let’s get to it. 

    The “They’re Creeping Up on You!” segment from Creepshow

    Bugs, in general, don’t bother me. I always try to take bugs back outside whenever I can, with the exception of two: flies and cockroaches. Flies don’t scare me; they just annoy me. However, I can’t STAND cockroaches. 

    I have zero athletic ability, but I will leap from furniture and kill those a-holes with superhuman speed. Knowing this fact should make the reasoning clear as to why I hate this segment so much. My skin crawls from beginning to end, and I go out of my way to avoid this segment during a rewatch. 

    Video source: ScreamFactoryTV

    The pig scene from Saw III 

    Now listen, I’m a big Saw girlie. I’ve seen every single movie (yes, even Spiral), and I own the box set. Saw doesn’t tend to make me queasy because it’s so over the top, but there is one scene that gets me every. single. time. And, I’m sure many of you can guess which scene it is. 

    Yeah, it’s the pig vat scene. 

    The idea of being covered in liquified, decayed pig corpses is enough to turn your stomach. But, oh no, that’s not enough. Let’s shoot that putrid corpse smoothie DIRECTLY AT A DUDE’S FACE. No, thank you. 

    I’ve definitely gotten better with handling it over the years, but I have to admit I still grimace during that scene. 

    Video source: TrailersPlaygroundHD

    The scarecrow transformation scene from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 

    I can’t quite pinpoint why this particular scene bothers me so much. Is it the idea of a kid being condemned to an eternity of torment? The part where he cries out for his mother and only straw falls out of his mouth? Idk, man. This scene has stuck with me ever since I first saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and it’s the scene I always dread when I rewatch it. 

    Video source: CBS Films 

    The tendon puppetry scene from Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors 

    I feel like I’m probably not alone on this one. Like Saw, the NOES franchise has a lot of gruesome kills, though NOES tends to be campier at times. Dream Warriors is my favorite NOES, so it gets the most playtime out of the entries. But, the scene where Freddy pulls the tendons out of Phillip’s feet and walks him like a skin puppet down the hallway and onto the roof makes me squirm. 

    Video source: Forever Horror Video Archive

    The feeding tube scene from Boogeyman 2 

    This might be one of the most shocking things I’ve ever said, but I actually refuse to watch Boogeyman 2 for several reasons. There are multiple instances of self-harm, mentions of EDs, and other things that I’m not 100% cool with. However, the one scene that really gets me is the feeding tube scene where they start pumping what I think is some type of bile and liquefied food maybe (?) into a girl struggling with EDs. 

    Yeah, uh, it’s really troubling, and I can’t really sign off on this movie at all. Granted, I haven’t seen it in years, so I may have conflated things in my mind. Just heed my warning before watching. I’m also not going to link this particular trailer because I think there are some triggering things in it, and I’ll leave all of you to find it on your own if you so choose.

  • Don’t Touch That Dial: TV-Based Horror

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping TV-based horror content into the ol’ VCR. 

    I finally watched Stay Tuned for the first time a few weeks ago, and I really enjoyed it. But, it made me think about this weird and kind of niche trend from the early 80s to early 90s where TVs were used as a conduit for evil. 

    After thinking for an obscene amount of time, only three other movies that fit with the aesthetic of Stay Tuned came to mind: TerrorVision, the “It’s a Good Life” segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie, and HeBGB TV. 

    I love blink-182. 

    I know TVs are really prominent within movies like The Ring and V/H/S, but the three movies I listed just have a different feel to them. 

    They’re chock-full of pop culture references and teeter on dark comedy, where The Ring and the earlier entries of V/H/S don’t. Additionally, our core four portray the TV as the nexus of evil, not a medium for evil. 

    And yes, I’m fully aware that I’m talking about TVs and VHS tapes as sentient beings. I digress. 

    I don’t have a LOT to say about these movies, but I do think they’re worth a mention because they have a really unique style about them that you don’t see in a lot of movies. 

    They also make me happy that I don’t have satellite. 

    The good news is, I’ve taken the liberty of coming up with some horror TV parodies that movies like Stay Tuned, TerrorVision, Twilight Zone: The Movie, and HeBGB TV are more than welcome to utilize in the future. 

    Without further ado, I present to you five TV horror parody shows and movies that I’m way too pleased with myself for creating. 

    Betsey Johnson looks GREAT. 

    Mothman of the House: After a group of cheerleaders witnesses a crime Mothman predicted, Mothman and his partner, Nessie, must save them from a revenge-seeking Jersey Devil. 

    Life Swap: Families with a dead parent swap with families with a live parent. The live parent will spend a week in purgatory while the dead parent will be brought back to life for a week.* 

    *Note: Families aren’t required to swap back, and the studio isn’t liable for any eternal entrapment. 

    Bachelor in Paradise Lost: Satan is looking for love. Watch as he works to find his new Queen of Hell while also raising some. Hosted by Adam and Eve. 

    Fear Eye: A giant eyeball helps people realize their full potential with fashion advice, lifestyle coaching, and giving them the exact time and cause of their death. 

    Human Flavor of Love: Sincerely Flavor Flav’s reality show but with cannibals. 

    I don’t have a joke here. You should just watch HeBGB TV for yourself.

  • Raising The Dead Genre: Zombie Movies That Aren’t Grave Mistakes

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping zombie movies into the ol’ VCR. 

    Friends, we all knew this had to happen eventually. It’s not that I’ve been purposely avoiding zombie movies, but a piece on zombies (or “ghouls” as George A. Romero would say), just hasn’t been at the top of my list. 

    However, it’s a new year, and it’s time to rip the bandaid off that undead flesh. 

    POV: You’re a barista working the morning rush, and mobile ordering is down. 

    I don’t hate zombie movies. Hell, you’re talking to someone who keeps her copy of Max Brooks’s The Zombie Survival Guide handy…just in case. I rewatch Anna and the Apocalypse every single December. 

    BUT, the zombie genre has also been beaten to death, then resurrected, and continued to be beaten. 

    I’ll go on the record as saying that I’ve never been able to make it past the second season of The Walking Dead, and I’ve never watched any of the spinoffs (even though I did read most of the graphic novels). I’ll also go on the record as saying that the film adaptation of World War Z is disgraceful, and Max Brooks deserved better. I digress. 

    If she doesn’t get this meme, she’s too young for you. Or, y’know, didn’t watch early YouTube. 

    Despite all of the cynicism I’ve thrown out, there are definitely zombie movies I enjoy because they either a) helped shape the genre or b) breathe fresh life (or unlife, I guess?) into the genre. 

    If you’re like me and want to watch some zombie movies that don’t follow the traditional format, or are just here for a good time, you’ve come to the right place. Some of these movies are obvious, and some are lesser known. Either way, I think you’ll find something you can enjoy. 

    Before I bring out the list, I want to go ahead and address the elephant in the room. Yes, the Zombies musical trilogy is on this list. No, I won’t apologize for it. 

    Without further ado, here are some zombie movies and episodes/segments to unearth if you want to bring your love of zombies back from the dead. 

    How I look in my grandmother’s eyes for having two nose piercings.

    Movies 

    • One Cut of the Dead 
    • Night of the Living Dead 
    • Diary of the Dead 
    • Shaun of the Dead 
    • Return of the Living Dead 
    • Return of the Living Dead 3 
    • Anna and the Apocalypse 
    • Black Friday
    • Contacted 
    • Dawn of the Dead (I’m surprisingly going to recommend both) 
    • Planet Terror 
    • Zombieland 
    • Cargo 
    • Zombies trilogy 
    • Fido 
    • Aaah! Zombies! (aka Wasting Away)
    • Boy Eats Girl 
    • Zombeavers 
    • Warm Bodies 
    • 28 Days Later 
    • Dead Snow 
    • Little Monsters 
    • Train to Busan 
    • [Rec] 
    • Dance of the Dead 

    Segments/Episodes 

    • “A Ride in the Park” segment from V/H/S 2
    • The “New Year’s Day” episode of Fear Itself 

    Saltburn (2023) 

    P.S. Learn from my mistakes, and don’t just Google “Boy Eats Girl.”

  • Cue Earth, Wind & Fire: My Three Favorite Fantasy Movies

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping fantasy movies into the ol’ VCR. 

    This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I’m not actually that big on fantasy shows and movies. I don’t like LOTR (I know, I know). I’ve never been about to get into GoT. I’m not a big Harry Potter fan, and I obviously hate She Who Shall Not Be Named. 

    Needless to say, I’m picky about my fantasy content. I’m even pickier about the fantasy content I’ll rewatch. 

    Video source: Cracked

    I went through a Twilight phase because I was at the perfect age for it, as with the Hunger Games series. I’ll admit I enjoyed The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes, but I’ll also admit I only went to see it to sneak one last movie trip into my Thanksgiving PTO. 

    I don’t see anything wrong with fantasy movies, and I think there’s a lot of good within their fandoms. It’s just not my bag. Don’t worry, I’ll spare you all my world famous disclaimer… this time. 

    There are three big fantasy movies I find myself revisiting, as well as, you guessed it, one honorable mention that skews more into fairytale than fantasy.  

    Without further ado, let’s get into my three favorite fantasy movies. 

    Stardust 

    I don’t remember exactly when I watched this movie, but I believe it was a recommendation from a friend. It doesn’t matter how I found out about Stardust because the important part is that I did. First and foremost, you have a cast of HEAVY HITTERS. Secondly, it has just enough whimsy that I can get on board, but not enough to take me out of it. Lastly, it has a sweet little love story at its core, and I’m a bleeding heart. 

    Video source: Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers

    Penelope

    The fact that Catherine O’Hara is in this movie should be enough to make you watch it. However, you should definitely stay for the Christine Ricci, Reese Witherspoon, and self-empowerment of it all. Penelope spreads a message of self-love and self-reliance, and it embodies “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” 

    Video source: Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers

    The School for Good and Evil 

    This is obviously a new addition to the list, but I LOVED this movie. Coming in at almost two and a half hours long, you’d suspect it would drag at times, or it would be easy to lose interest. But, I was completely enamored from start to finish. Also, The School for Good and Evil isn’t about romantic love but platonic love, the special kind of love you share with a best friend. Also, Charlize Theron. 

    Video source: Netflix

    Honorable mention 

    I can’t make it through a piece about fantasy movies without talking about the 1997 musical version of Cinderella. It’s an absolute masterpiece, and I love it so much. I believe we recorded it straight from the Disney Channel, and I would give anything to still have that VHS tape. If you haven’t seen Cinderella, drop everything and watch it ASAP. 

    Video source: retro VHS trailers

  • The Dark Side Of The 90s And 00s

    Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping a critique of 90s/00s beauty standards into the ol’ VCR. 

    CW/TW: EDs and fatphobia 

    Also, there won’t be any pictures in this one because it doesn’t feel appropriate. 

    Now, friends, I know I glamorize bits of the 90s and 00s. I write pieces about the pop culture I grew up in because there’s a lot I love about it. However, there are also a lot of things I don’t; it wasn’t all peace signs and smiley faces. 

    As a point of reference, I was born in ‘92, so I grew up from 1992-2010. I survived chunky highlights, the harcore iteration of Hot Topic, and body glitter. Unfortunately, I also grew up in a time that praised “heroin chic” and the size 00, and made plus-size people the butt of every joke. 

    From Van Wilder to Dodgeball, plus-size people and fat jokes were used as a cheap comedy ploy. Sure, there was commentary about EDs from shows like Degrassi: The Next Generation and even Daria, and movies like Shallow Hal that tried (and in my opinion, failed) to prove the idea of inner beauty being more important than outer beauty. Also, shoutout to Christina for “Beautiful.” 

    But, with the culture of the 90s and 00s (and honestly, still into today) comes a tone of nastiness around being plus-size, as though being over a certain size automatically gives the general public the right to make fun of your body. And, I’ve been on both sides. 

    I’m going to be very honest with all of you for a moment. I had severe anorexia and workout bulimia from the summer before the 9th grade through college with some relapses in my 20s. 

    I’ve smoked cigarettes to keep from eating, worked out for hours a day, counted all of my calories, starved myself, you name it. 

    You never fully rid yourself of eating disorders; I’ve been in recovery for years. However, it’s worth noting I still have lingering effects like having to monitor my exercise to avoid relapsing back into workout bulimia where I binge on exercise. Or, there are times when I’m bloated or look at a photo where I think my body looks weird, I have to be kind to myself. I love myself, and I’m comfortable in my own skin, but it’s just the unfortunate reality of having had some form of EDs for as long as I can remember. 

    Growing up with the likes of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, and Hilary Duff didn’t help. I’m obviously not here to blame these ladies for my EDs, but rather the media and culture shifts that surrounded them. We’ve heard from actresses over the years about the pressures placed on them to stay a certain size and look a certain way because it was what was deemed as “acceptable.” 

    There’s also this strange phenomenon I like to call the Mandela Effect of Plus-Size Girls where you remember certain actresses being praised for being in movies, only to rewatch them and find that they’re a size 8 or 10, and, sometimes, they weren’t even plus-size at all. 

    Don’t think I’m letting shows like Awkward. and Gilmore Girls off the hook either. I love these shows, but they both make multiple fat jokes throughout their runs. And, Awkward. goes so far as to make Sadie’s entire identity revolve around her weight for a good chunk of the series. I think the episode where Jenna and Tamara find her food journal does give us a good break from the jokes and humanizes Sadie, but again, it still isn’t perfect. 

    I was extremely fortunate to have a mother who instilled healthy habits in me but never pressured me to look a specific way. KP always told my sister and me that we were beautiful, and there was a heavy emphasis on inner beauty in our home. I know a lot of people didn’t have that, and I’m so sorry to all of those who didn’t. 

    But, it was still hard growing up surrounded by teen magazines and shows and movies that emphasized the importance of being thin, especially when many popular clothing stores of the time didn’t carry extended sizes. If you think I’m being hyperbolic or don’t think this was intentional, check out White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch. Because it very much was. 

    At 31-years-old, I’m very comfortable in my own skin. As I mentioned earlier, I have intrusive thoughts that are a residual effect of my eating disorders, but I know they aren’t true; I’m happy and healthy. But, I do think it’s important to talk about the dark side of pop culture as well as the positives. 

    I do think we’re heading in the right direction by adding more inclusivity in media, but we still have a long way to go. A future where plus-size people are fairly and accurately represented in media? Now, that’s hot.