B Movies Blog

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January 2026

January 2 – We Bury The Dead (Theaters)

January 6 – Will Trent (ABC, Next day Hulu)

January 8 – The Traitors (Peacock)

January 8 – His & Hers (Netflix)

January 9 – People We Meet On Vacation (Netflix)

January 9 – Sleepwalker (Theaters)

January 9 – Primate (Theaters)

January 16 – Night Patrol (Theaters)

January 16 – 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (Theaters)

January 21 – The Beauty (FX, Next day Hulu)

January 21 – Queer Eye (Netflix)

January 22 – Finding Her Edge (Netflix)

January 23 – Return to Silent Hill (Theaters)

January 28 – School Spirits (Paramount+)

January 28 – Shrinking (Apple TV+)

January 30 – Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die (Theaters)

January 30 – Iron Lung (Theaters)

January 30 – Send Help (Theaters)

February 2026

February 6 – The Strangers: Chapter 3 (Theaters)

February 6 – Dracula (Theaters)

February 6 – Pillion (Theaters)

February 6 – Whistle (Theaters)

February 8 – The ‘Burbs (Peacock)

February 13 – “Wuthering Heights” (Theaters)

February 13 – GOAT (Theaters)

February 13 – Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (Theaters)

February 18 – 56 Days (Prime)

February 20 – This is Not a Test (Theaters)

February 25 – Scrubs (ABC, next day Hulu)

February 27 – Scream 7 (Theaters)

March 2026

March 5 – Ted (Peacock)

March 6 – The Bride (Theaters)

March 6 – Peaky Blinders: The Eternal Man (Theaters, Netflix on March 20)

March 11 – Scarpetta (Prime)

March 18 – Imperfect Women (Apple TV+)

March 20 – Project Hail Mary (Theaters)

March 27 – Ready or Not: Here I Come (Theaters)

March 27 – Fantasy Life (Theaters)

March 27 – They Will Kill You (Theaters)

April 2026

April 3 – The Drama (Theaters)

April 8 – The Boys (Prime)

April 10 – Malcolm in the Middle (Hulu)

April 15 – Margo’s Got Money Troubles (Apple TV+)

April 17 – The Mummy (Theaters)

April 17 – Normal (Theaters)

May 2026

May 1 – The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Theaters)

May 1 – Hokum (Theaters)

May 15 – Obsession (Theaters)

May 22 – I Love Boosters (Theaters)

June 2026

June 12 – Scary Movie 6 (Theaters)

June 19 – Toy Story 5 (Theaters)

July 2026

July 12 – Disclosure Day (Theaters)

July 17 – The Odyssey (Theaters)

August 2026

August 21 – Insidious: The Bleeding World (Theaters)

August 28 – The Dog Star (Theaters)

August 28 – Coyote vs. ACME (Theaters)

September 2026

September 11 – Sense and Sensibility (Theaters)

September 18 – Practical Magic 2 (Theaters)

September 18 – Play House (Theaters)

September 18 – Resident Evil (Theaters)

October 2026

October 1 – Terrifier 4 (Theaters)

October 2 – Digger (Theaters)

October 9 – Other Mommy (Theaters)

October 16 – Street Fighter (Theaters)

October 23 – Remain (Theaters)

November 2026

November 20 – The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping (Theaters)

December 2026

December 18 – Avengers: Doomsday (Theaters)

December 18 – Dune: Part Three (Theaters)

December 25 – Werewulf (Theaters)

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping the horror scenes that bother me into the ol’ VCR. 

When it comes to horror, I have a pretty strong stomach. It’s very rare that I jump or avert my eyes during a horror movie, and my friends can vouch for me. In fact, there have even been times in the past where friends chose to sit next to me in group settings because I’m a rock. 

However, I regret to inform you all that there are a handful of horror scenes that I’m even bothered by. I think this list may surprise many of you, but it’s the truth. These scenes either make my skin crawl, make me queasy, or just simply bother me. 

This piece is probably going to be another exercise in showing that my brain works in mysterious ways. But hey, I’m just being Miley. 

Also, I’m OBVIOUSLY not going to show pictures of these different scenes and trigger myself. Instead, I’ve included links to each movie’s trailer, with the exception of one. This way, we can still break up the monotony without making me feel icky. 

Without further ado, let’s get to it. 

The “They’re Creeping Up on You!” segment from Creepshow

Bugs, in general, don’t bother me. I always try to take bugs back outside whenever I can, with the exception of two: flies and cockroaches. Flies don’t scare me; they just annoy me. However, I can’t STAND cockroaches. 

I have zero athletic ability, but I will leap from furniture and kill those a-holes with superhuman speed. Knowing this fact should make the reasoning clear as to why I hate this segment so much. My skin crawls from beginning to end, and I go out of my way to avoid this segment during a rewatch. 

Video source: ScreamFactoryTV

The pig scene from Saw III 

Now listen, I’m a big Saw girlie. I’ve seen every single movie (yes, even Spiral), and I own the box set. Saw doesn’t tend to make me queasy because it’s so over the top, but there is one scene that gets me every. single. time. And, I’m sure many of you can guess which scene it is. 

Yeah, it’s the pig vat scene. 

The idea of being covered in liquified, decayed pig corpses is enough to turn your stomach. But, oh no, that’s not enough. Let’s shoot that putrid corpse smoothie DIRECTLY AT A DUDE’S FACE. No, thank you. 

I’ve definitely gotten better with handling it over the years, but I have to admit I still grimace during that scene. 

Video source: TrailersPlaygroundHD

The scarecrow transformation scene from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 

I can’t quite pinpoint why this particular scene bothers me so much. Is it the idea of a kid being condemned to an eternity of torment? The part where he cries out for his mother and only straw falls out of his mouth? Idk, man. This scene has stuck with me ever since I first saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and it’s the scene I always dread when I rewatch it. 

Video source: CBS Films 

The tendon puppetry scene from Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors 

I feel like I’m probably not alone on this one. Like Saw, the NOES franchise has a lot of gruesome kills, though NOES tends to be campier at times. Dream Warriors is my favorite NOES, so it gets the most playtime out of the entries. But, the scene where Freddy pulls the tendons out of Phillip’s feet and walks him like a skin puppet down the hallway and onto the roof makes me squirm. 

Video source: Forever Horror Video Archive

The feeding tube scene from Boogeyman 2 

This might be one of the most shocking things I’ve ever said, but I actually refuse to watch Boogeyman 2 for several reasons. There are multiple instances of self-harm, mentions of EDs, and other things that I’m not 100% cool with. However, the one scene that really gets me is the feeding tube scene where they start pumping what I think is some type of bile and liquefied food maybe (?) into a girl struggling with EDs. 

Yeah, uh, it’s really troubling, and I can’t really sign off on this movie at all. Granted, I haven’t seen it in years, so I may have conflated things in my mind. Just heed my warning before watching. I’m also not going to link this particular trailer because I think there are some triggering things in it, and I’ll leave all of you to find it on your own if you so choose.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping TV-based horror content into the ol’ VCR. 

I finally watched Stay Tuned for the first time a few weeks ago, and I really enjoyed it. But, it made me think about this weird and kind of niche trend from the early 80s to early 90s where TVs were used as a conduit for evil. 

After thinking for an obscene amount of time, only three other movies that fit with the aesthetic of Stay Tuned came to mind: TerrorVision, the “It’s a Good Life” segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie, and HeBGB TV. 

I love blink-182. 

I know TVs are really prominent within movies like The Ring and V/H/S, but the three movies I listed just have a different feel to them. 

They’re chock-full of pop culture references and teeter on dark comedy, where The Ring and the earlier entries of V/H/S don’t. Additionally, our core four portray the TV as the nexus of evil, not a medium for evil. 

And yes, I’m fully aware that I’m talking about TVs and VHS tapes as sentient beings. I digress. 

I don’t have a LOT to say about these movies, but I do think they’re worth a mention because they have a really unique style about them that you don’t see in a lot of movies. 

They also make me happy that I don’t have satellite. 

The good news is, I’ve taken the liberty of coming up with some horror TV parodies that movies like Stay Tuned, TerrorVision, Twilight Zone: The Movie, and HeBGB TV are more than welcome to utilize in the future. 

Without further ado, I present to you five TV horror parody shows and movies that I’m way too pleased with myself for creating. 

Betsey Johnson looks GREAT. 

Mothman of the House: After a group of cheerleaders witnesses a crime Mothman predicted, Mothman and his partner, Nessie, must save them from a revenge-seeking Jersey Devil. 

Life Swap: Families with a dead parent swap with families with a live parent. The live parent will spend a week in purgatory while the dead parent will be brought back to life for a week.* 

*Note: Families aren’t required to swap back, and the studio isn’t liable for any eternal entrapment. 

Bachelor in Paradise Lost: Satan is looking for love. Watch as he works to find his new Queen of Hell while also raising some. Hosted by Adam and Eve. 

Fear Eye: A giant eyeball helps people realize their full potential with fashion advice, lifestyle coaching, and giving them the exact time and cause of their death. 

Human Flavor of Love: Sincerely Flavor Flav’s reality show but with cannibals. 

I don’t have a joke here. You should just watch HeBGB TV for yourself.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping zombie movies into the ol’ VCR. 

Friends, we all knew this had to happen eventually. It’s not that I’ve been purposely avoiding zombie movies, but a piece on zombies (or “ghouls” as George A. Romero would say), just hasn’t been at the top of my list. 

However, it’s a new year, and it’s time to rip the bandaid off that undead flesh. 

POV: You’re a barista working the morning rush, and mobile ordering is down. 

I don’t hate zombie movies. Hell, you’re talking to someone who keeps her copy of Max Brooks’s The Zombie Survival Guide handy…just in case. I rewatch Anna and the Apocalypse every single December. 

BUT, the zombie genre has also been beaten to death, then resurrected, and continued to be beaten. 

I’ll go on the record as saying that I’ve never been able to make it past the second season of The Walking Dead, and I’ve never watched any of the spinoffs (even though I did read most of the graphic novels). I’ll also go on the record as saying that the film adaptation of World War Z is disgraceful, and Max Brooks deserved better. I digress. 

If she doesn’t get this meme, she’s too young for you. Or, y’know, didn’t watch early YouTube. 

Despite all of the cynicism I’ve thrown out, there are definitely zombie movies I enjoy because they either a) helped shape the genre or b) breathe fresh life (or unlife, I guess?) into the genre. 

If you’re like me and want to watch some zombie movies that don’t follow the traditional format, or are just here for a good time, you’ve come to the right place. Some of these movies are obvious, and some are lesser known. Either way, I think you’ll find something you can enjoy. 

Before I bring out the list, I want to go ahead and address the elephant in the room. Yes, the Zombies musical trilogy is on this list. No, I won’t apologize for it. 

Without further ado, here are some zombie movies and episodes/segments to unearth if you want to bring your love of zombies back from the dead. 

How I look in my grandmother’s eyes for having two nose piercings.

Movies 

• One Cut of the Dead 
• Night of the Living Dead 
• Diary of the Dead 
• Shaun of the Dead 
• Return of the Living Dead 
• Return of the Living Dead 3 
• Anna and the Apocalypse 
• Black Friday
• Contacted 
• Dawn of the Dead (I’m surprisingly going to recommend both) 
• Planet Terror 
• Zombieland 
• Cargo 
• Zombies trilogy 
• Fido 
• Aaah! Zombies! (aka Wasting Away)
• Boy Eats Girl 
• Zombeavers 
• Warm Bodies 
• 28 Days Later 
• Dead Snow 
• Little Monsters 
• Train to Busan 
• [Rec] 
• Dance of the Dead 

Segments/Episodes 

• “A Ride in the Park” segment from V/H/S 2
• The “New Year’s Day” episode of Fear Itself 

• 

Saltburn (2023) 

P.S. Learn from my mistakes, and don’t just Google “Boy Eats Girl.”

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping fantasy movies into the ol’ VCR. 

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I’m not actually that big on fantasy shows and movies. I don’t like LOTR (I know, I know). I’ve never been about to get into GoT. I’m not a big Harry Potter fan, and I obviously hate She Who Shall Not Be Named. 

Needless to say, I’m picky about my fantasy content. I’m even pickier about the fantasy content I’ll rewatch. 

Video source: Cracked

I went through a Twilight phase because I was at the perfect age for it, as with the Hunger Games series. I’ll admit I enjoyed The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes, but I’ll also admit I only went to see it to sneak one last movie trip into my Thanksgiving PTO. 

I don’t see anything wrong with fantasy movies, and I think there’s a lot of good within their fandoms. It’s just not my bag. Don’t worry, I’ll spare you all my world famous disclaimer… this time. 

There are three big fantasy movies I find myself revisiting, as well as, you guessed it, one honorable mention that skews more into fairytale than fantasy.  

Without further ado, let’s get into my three favorite fantasy movies. 

Stardust 

I don’t remember exactly when I watched this movie, but I believe it was a recommendation from a friend. It doesn’t matter how I found out about Stardust because the important part is that I did. First and foremost, you have a cast of HEAVY HITTERS. Secondly, it has just enough whimsy that I can get on board, but not enough to take me out of it. Lastly, it has a sweet little love story at its core, and I’m a bleeding heart. 

Video source: Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers

Penelope

The fact that Catherine O’Hara is in this movie should be enough to make you watch it. However, you should definitely stay for the Christine Ricci, Reese Witherspoon, and self-empowerment of it all. Penelope spreads a message of self-love and self-reliance, and it embodies “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” 

Video source: Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers

The School for Good and Evil 

This is obviously a new addition to the list, but I LOVED this movie. Coming in at almost two and a half hours long, you’d suspect it would drag at times, or it would be easy to lose interest. But, I was completely enamored from start to finish. Also, The School for Good and Evil isn’t about romantic love but platonic love, the special kind of love you share with a best friend. Also, Charlize Theron. 

Video source: Netflix

Honorable mention 

I can’t make it through a piece about fantasy movies without talking about the 1997 musical version of Cinderella. It’s an absolute masterpiece, and I love it so much. I believe we recorded it straight from the Disney Channel, and I would give anything to still have that VHS tape. If you haven’t seen Cinderella, drop everything and watch it ASAP. 

Video source: retro VHS trailers

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping a critique of 90s/00s beauty standards into the ol’ VCR. 

CW/TW: EDs and fatphobia 

Also, there won’t be any pictures in this one because it doesn’t feel appropriate. 

Now, friends, I know I glamorize bits of the 90s and 00s. I write pieces about the pop culture I grew up in because there’s a lot I love about it. However, there are also a lot of things I don’t; it wasn’t all peace signs and smiley faces. 

As a point of reference, I was born in ‘92, so I grew up from 1992-2010. I survived chunky highlights, the harcore iteration of Hot Topic, and body glitter. Unfortunately, I also grew up in a time that praised “heroin chic” and the size 00, and made plus-size people the butt of every joke. 

From Van Wilder to Dodgeball, plus-size people and fat jokes were used as a cheap comedy ploy. Sure, there was commentary about EDs from shows like Degrassi: The Next Generation and even Daria, and movies like Shallow Hal that tried (and in my opinion, failed) to prove the idea of inner beauty being more important than outer beauty. Also, shoutout to Christina for “Beautiful.” 

But, with the culture of the 90s and 00s (and honestly, still into today) comes a tone of nastiness around being plus-size, as though being over a certain size automatically gives the general public the right to make fun of your body. And, I’ve been on both sides. 

I’m going to be very honest with all of you for a moment. I had severe anorexia and workout bulimia from the summer before the 9th grade through college with some relapses in my 20s. 

I’ve smoked cigarettes to keep from eating, worked out for hours a day, counted all of my calories, starved myself, you name it. 

You never fully rid yourself of eating disorders; I’ve been in recovery for years. However, it’s worth noting I still have lingering effects like having to monitor my exercise to avoid relapsing back into workout bulimia where I binge on exercise. Or, there are times when I’m bloated or look at a photo where I think my body looks weird, I have to be kind to myself. I love myself, and I’m comfortable in my own skin, but it’s just the unfortunate reality of having had some form of EDs for as long as I can remember. 

Growing up with the likes of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, and Hilary Duff didn’t help. I’m obviously not here to blame these ladies for my EDs, but rather the media and culture shifts that surrounded them. We’ve heard from actresses over the years about the pressures placed on them to stay a certain size and look a certain way because it was what was deemed as “acceptable.” 

There’s also this strange phenomenon I like to call the Mandela Effect of Plus-Size Girls where you remember certain actresses being praised for being in movies, only to rewatch them and find that they’re a size 8 or 10, and, sometimes, they weren’t even plus-size at all. 

Don’t think I’m letting shows like Awkward. and Gilmore Girls off the hook either. I love these shows, but they both make multiple fat jokes throughout their runs. And, Awkward. goes so far as to make Sadie’s entire identity revolve around her weight for a good chunk of the series. I think the episode where Jenna and Tamara find her food journal does give us a good break from the jokes and humanizes Sadie, but again, it still isn’t perfect. 

I was extremely fortunate to have a mother who instilled healthy habits in me but never pressured me to look a specific way. KP always told my sister and me that we were beautiful, and there was a heavy emphasis on inner beauty in our home. I know a lot of people didn’t have that, and I’m so sorry to all of those who didn’t. 

But, it was still hard growing up surrounded by teen magazines and shows and movies that emphasized the importance of being thin, especially when many popular clothing stores of the time didn’t carry extended sizes. If you think I’m being hyperbolic or don’t think this was intentional, check out White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch. Because it very much was. 

At 31-years-old, I’m very comfortable in my own skin. As I mentioned earlier, I have intrusive thoughts that are a residual effect of my eating disorders, but I know they aren’t true; I’m happy and healthy. But, I do think it’s important to talk about the dark side of pop culture as well as the positives. 

I do think we’re heading in the right direction by adding more inclusivity in media, but we still have a long way to go. A future where plus-size people are fairly and accurately represented in media? Now, that’s hot. 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping 2000s movies soundtracks into the ol’ VCR. 

The early to mid-aughts were a magical and wonderful time where movies with absolutely insane plots were king, and soundtracks actually mattered. 

Scoring is still SUPER important in film, and I don’t want to discredit it in any way. I’m talking about the soundtracks where actresses from the film contributed songs, popular songs that weren’t in the movie were thrown on for kicks and giggs, etc… 

These soundtracks also included the works of fake bands from the movies, including two of my personal favorites: Josie and the Pussycats and Pink Slip. They truly don’t make them like this anymore. 

I had LiLo’s exact highlights at one point, and I don’t wanna talk about it. 

However, I think that’s why I love Olivia Rodrigo’s SOUR and GUTS so much. Both albums take me back to the zeitgeist of the early to mid-aughts where soundtracks ruled and timely physical media releases drooled. 

If you want to take a little trip down memory lane, grab your butterfly clips, band tees with built-in long sleeves, and glitter eyeshadow because I’m giving you a list of my favorite soundtracks from the early to mid-aughts — as well as an honorable mention. 

I physically owned all of these CDs, and I still own a couple to this very day. I still know every single word to every song on the Josie and the Pussycats and Freaky Friday soundtracks, and I have no shame in my little heart. 

Without any further ado, here is my list of some of my favorite soundtracks, in no particular order: 

• New York Minute 
• Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
• Freaky Friday 
• The Princess Diaries
• What a Girl Wants 
• Josie and the Pussycats 
• A Cinderella Story

Honorable mention 

There’s one soundtrack that BARELY misses the cut because it came out in 1999. I still want to mention it because it also encapsulates the magic of the movie soundtrack we’ve so desperately missed. I’m obviously talking about the 10 Things I Hate About You Soundtrack. Letters to Cleo’s cover of “Cruel to Be Kind” is worth the mention alone. 

I still defend Bianca’s prom outfit, and I don’t care what any of you say about it.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping Sweet Valley High into the ol’ VCR. 

Welcome to Sweet Valley High 

Boy oh boy, do I have a good one for all of you today. For those unfamiliar with the Sweet Valley High series, or Sweet Valley High in general, let me give you a quick rundown. 

Sweet Valley High began as a book series in 1983 and became a pop culture phenomenon for over two decades (and for those like me, continues to be). While the authorship of the novels is always credited to Francine Pascal, the series was actually crafted by ghostwriters that Pascal supervised and produced. 

SVH follows identical twins, Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, as they navigate their teenage (and in some books we’ll get to in the honorable mention, collegiate) years. The best way I can describe their relationship is that of Needy and Jennifer from Jennifer’s Body. Elizabeth is our sweet little Needy, while Jessica strives to devour all of the boys at Sweet Valley High and beyond. Succubus not included. 

While there is a rotating group of characters the girls interact with, the main crew is comprised of: 

• Lila Fowler – who walked so Amber from Clueless could run. 
• Enid Rollins – my personal favorite who they turn into a total C U Next Tuesday for no apparent reason. 
• Winston Egbert – another wonderful character who they turn into Caleb Nichol.
• Todd Wilkins – a man who makes a sack of potatoes look like a real charmer. 
• Bruce Patman – a poor little rich boy who gives major “I’m self-made from Daddy’s money” vibes. 

The girls also have parents who are nowhere to be seen in the series, and a brother, Stephen, who I just found out while doing this research has a whole coming out storyline. We stan a gay icon*. 

*I have no clue what all his coming out story entails, so take what I’m saying here with a metric ton of salt. 

I bet Bruce and Jessica try to find a pharmacy with Plan B in this one! 

A series of unhinged events 

Okay, let’s get to the reason we’re all here: the series. Sweet Valley High blessed us with 88 episodes across 4 seasons, ran from 1994-1997, and starred Britney and Cynthia Daniel (more on this duo later) as Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield. You might be asking, “But, Baillee, where should I start?” That’s a great question. Let me give you a few of my favorite plots: 

• The one where Jessica, a teenager, thinks a prince she spends 12 hours with is going to propose to her. 
• The one where Jessica is painted NUDE by another student (just a reminder that they’re in high school) although she was wearing a bikini, and the twins trick the artist into dropping trou while the SVH crew takes nude photos of him for retribution and blackmail. 
• The one where Elizabeth flatlines in front of her sister and boyfriend*.
• The one where Jessica is kidnapped and held at gunpoint after Elizabeth and Winston accidentally take a photo of a crime on the beach. 
• The one where Elizabeth and Winston win homecoming king and queen and perform the raunchiest homecoming dance I’ve ever seen. 
• The one where Lila and Jessica fight for a starring role that is, unbeknownst to them, for a tomato soup commercial. 

*I should also mention this is the same episode where I thought Bruce called someone a “tampon stain,” only to find out he called Winston a “poached egg.” 

There are so many classics to choose from, and that’s just from the first season. Hell, these plots are all taken from the first 10 episodes. 

Still not convinced? Let me introduce you to what might be the best theme song in teen drama history. 

Video source: Will Henriquez

I don’t know what I love most about this theme song. The fact that it insinuates we’ve never seen twins before? The fact it’s a jaunty 90s number? The fact it says “valleh” like every member of the band is an extra from The Witch? I have absolutely no notes except that they just don’t write them like this anymore. 

But don’t worry, friends. The music doesn’t stop with this bitchin’ theme song. There are also original songs sprinkled throughout episodes that are reminiscent of songs Gus and his friends would write for movies in Love. I would say they were almost Bob Burgers-esque, but I don’t want to do that to Bob’s Burgers. 

The most important thing to keep in mind when watching this series is that the characters are all high schoolers because this series is, in fact, set at a high school. And believe me, it won’t always make you feel warm and fuzzy to remember; it will make you feel exclusively worse. 

I was going to make a Midsommar joke, but honestly, none of my commentary will ever be as good as this book cover. 

A reboot? Not with these shoes 

There was a brief moment in time where a reboot was announced (no, not that time, the most recent one). And not just any reboot. This sweet, gone-too-soon angel was going to have FREAKIN’ JOSH SHWARTZ AND STEPHANIE SAVAGE ON DECK AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS. Yes, THAT Josh Shwartz and Stephanie Savage. Unfortunately, the reboot seems to be dead, and I’m once again reminded of why I hate it here. 

Brittany and Cynthia Daniel

I know I don’t normally feature the actors in the shows I’m talking about like this, but I found out some really awesome things about Brittany and Cynthia Daniel when doing my research that I wanted to share with the class. 

After SVH ended, Brittany would go on to add some notable credits to her resume like: 

• Eve in Dawson’s Creek
• Brandy in Joe Dirt 
• Megan Vandergeld in White Chicks 
• Dani Cummings in The Hamiltons 

She and Cynthia also played Melanie and Michele 2022’s Cheaper by the Dozen. 

However, as iconic as Brittany’s roles were, I want to talk about her and Cynthia’s lives off camera. Not only did Cythnia donate an egg to a surrogate so that Brittany could have a baby, but Brittany beat Non-Hodgkin lymphoma*, and I think that that’s incredibly badass. 

*Some sources said it was Stage 3 while others said Stage 4. 

Brittany and Cynthia, if you’re reading this, the people need a rewatch pod. By people, I mean a 30-something pop culture writer who shrieked when she discovered Sweet Valley High was streaming on Prime. 

Honorable mentions 

If you’ve made it this far, I truly salute you. My tween obsession of Sweet Valley High possessed my entire body, and this piece is what was expelled. I promise I’m *almost* done, but I have two more tiny things about the SVH multiverse I want to mention before I cut you loose. 

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about two of my favorite SVH pieces of media. First and foremost, the board game. My sister is 15 years older than me, so we used to play the game ALL THE TIME. I would always beg to be Enid, and this piece has made me start looking for a copy of it out of nostalgia. 

Secondly, we have to talk about the SVH, or should I say SVU (Sweet Valley University — backoff Hargitay and Meloni), novel, Kiss of the Vampire. Yes, friends, there was an entire line of Sweet Valley University THRILLER books, and I can’t recommend Kiss of the Vampire enough. I rebought a copy off of eBay two years ago, and I regret nothing.

How my anxiety sees the large iced coffee I’m about to drink on an empty stomach.

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping horror coffee orders into the ol’ VCR. 

Friends, we have a lot of fun here. And let me tell you, the idea for this piece made me giggle like Ron Swanson. Also, don’t look now, but the fact I read a lot of Cracked articles growing up is showing. 

I was initially just going to rank five (seven, if we’re being technical) of my favorite masked maniacs, which is perfectly respectable. However, because of who I am as a person, it didn’t feel quite right, so I started scheming.

Me laughing to myself in my apartment. 

Then, it hit me. I was briefly a barista at a certain horrible coffee chain that you shouldn’t be purchasing coffee from right now. I know the “stereotypes.” (All I ask is to be nice to your baristas and not buy coffee from certain chains. I promise this is all in good fun.) 

What if I paired these villains with what I think their coffee order would be and explained why? That’s what a normal person would pivot to, right?

Honestly, I love this idea so much you may see it pop up again with other characters, orders, etc. But for now, I give you the fictional coffee orders and their justifications for Michael Myers, Ghostface, Jason Vorhees, Leatherface, and the trio from The Strangers. 

Leaving the bathroom after two cups of morning coffee and a breakfast burrito. 

Michael Myers: Cafe Olé

• Slowly sips his coffee 
• Never asks for anything 
• Understands that even The Shape can treat himself 
• A classic with a small twist because while Halloween redefined modern horror, he knows the original is best 

Ghostface: Blended Beverage 

• Prefers mobile ordering 
• Throws movie knowledge in your face 
• Usually gets multiple drinks, except for that one time 
• Threatens to gut you like a fish if you forget the whip 

Jason Vorhees: Iced Americano 

• Never orders a water on the side 
• Will send his mom up to the counter if his order is wrong 
• Wants something that’ll get the job done because those teenagers aren’t gonna slice and dice themselves 

Leatherface: Decaf Black Coffee

• Plans to get his caloric intake from, uh, other sources
• Have a drink holder handy because he’s picking up for the entire family
• Always puts his best face forward, and don’t worry, he has plenty of them 

The Strangers Trio: Three Cortados 

• Too cool for regular lattes 
• Always place orders under the name “Tamara” 
• Come in right before closing and make themselves at home

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some of my favorite albums into the ol’ VCR. 

I love doing lists of my favorite things for all of you. We’ve looked at the YouTube channels I’m subscribed to as well as my podcast feed. And, I plan to share more of my favorites with you throughout the year. 

It’s really fun for me to look back on the content and media I enjoy because a lot of these albums have memories attached. Some of these albums have been my favorites for decades (From Under the Cork Tree turns 20 next year, and I feel ill), while others are more recent additions. 

Regardless of when they became my favorites, I feel like most of these hit me at very specific points in my life. For example, Doolittle became one of my favorite albums when I was at a very low point in my life while All Their Greatest Hits became a regular listen when I was at one of my favorite jobs I’ve ever had. 

As an added bonus, here’s one of my favorite songs of all time. Yes, I’m serious. 

Video source: Looking Glass 

Now listen, there are other albums I LOVE. For example, I love Taylor Swift’s folklore. However, it’s not on this list because it just doesn’t hit the same as these other albums. I can’t explain it. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love Taylor, but there’s just something different about the other albums I have listed below; I find a level of comfort in these albums that I don’t in other albums I love. (The feminine urge to add “if that makes sense” to the end of the previous sentence.) 

Before we get into my list, though, there’s an album I want to call attention to for a very sweet and sentimental reason. Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz will always have a special place in my heart because KP loved it. 

In fact, she loved it so much that I bought her the CD for her truck, and we listened to it when I was visiting. She also blared it when she was running errands because it made her think of me. 

“FU” was one of KP’s favorite songs on the album. Again, yes, I’m serious. 

Video source: Miley Cyrus 

It will always put a smile on my face, and “Drive” is one of my favorite Miley Cyrus songs of all time. 

Without any further ado, here is a list of some of my favorite albums of all time. 

• Doolittle – Pixies 
• From Under the Cork Tree – Fall Out Boy 
• All Hail West Texas – The Mountain Goats 
• Purple Rain – Prince 
• Camp – Childish Gambino 
• In the Aeroplane Over The Sea – Neutral Milk Hotel 
• Misfits – Misfits 
• Disc One: All Their Greatest Hits (1991-2001) – Barenaked Ladies 
• Emotion: Side B – Carly Rae Jepsen 
• AM – Arctic Monkeys 
• Fashion Nugget – Cake 
• DAMN. – Kendrick Lamar 

Hello, Movie Mavens! Welcome back to the B Movies Blog. Today, we’re popping some deal with the devil horror movies into the ol’ VCR. 

There is a very special subgenre of horror that I enjoy and affectionately call “deal with the devil” horror. These deals can range from a revenge pact to the promise of success. Either way, there are definitely strings attached. 

When I was making my recommendation list, I had to crack down on my criteria; just because the devil was a prominent character didn’t make it eligible. 

How it feels when someone says you have something on your face. 

Also, movies like The Covenant and Hellraiser kept popping up, but neither have actual deals with the devil. One has a bunch of hot people, and the other is Hellraiser. I digress. 

Deal with the devil horror is an interesting subgenre because it usually follows one of three formulas: 

1. The lead character was an unknowing pawn in another character’s devil deal. 
2. The lead character shakes hands with Satan, only to realize he’s Satan, and fights throughout the movie to find a loophole. 
3. The lead character gives into temptation and is ultimately destroyed or joins the dark side. 

“Harry Potter can kiss my ass!” might sound like one of my little quips, but it’s a real line from The Covenant. 

But, following one of three plotlines doesn’t mean deal with the devil horror movies are bad. In fact, a lot of them are really great, or, at the very least, a good time. 

That’s why I’ve gathered eight of my favorite deal with the devil horror movies. As always, I’ve included some horror comedies, serious horror movies, and a friendly reminder that Roman Polanski is a piece of shit. 

Alrighty, friends, without any further ado, here are eight deal with the devil horror movies that will leave you bargaining for more.

• Ready or Not 
• The Haunting of Molly Heartley 
• Satanic Panic 
• The Babysitter 
• Needful Things 
• Rosemary’s Baby 
• The House of the Devil 
• The Witches of Eastwick